Girl i m dating is acting distant

Girl i'm dating is acting distant

this guy is so friggin confusing to me, but i love him i know that he has feelings for me but he will not show them or tell me, why is that? luckily i only wasted two months on the last guy i dated but it was very painful to be getting so many mixed messages. the first few times he was a bit flaky, but i didn’t think much of it because i wasn’t even sure if i liked him anyway. forward 7 months, i met a good guy locally at the beginning if the year. curious and stemming from that love of learning, an aquarius will easily transfer those traits to the bedroom—and they desire the same from a partner, or else why have a partner there at all? sunday afternoon i sent her a more creative/cute version of "hi.! i messed up because i showed too much interest and care when my girl suggested spending less time together. could it also be, that he will find that het wants to take the relationship to the next level? if she pulls away as soon as the relationship gets more intimate, she hasn't been misleading you, she just needs time to adjust. i know he’ll be back one day but a part of me is hoping it would be faraway in the future or never at all. i think life was actually a lot more simpler and straightforward in many ways. you are clearly a troubled lass who thinks she needs a man in order to be whole, complete and sane. i eventually asked him if his feelings for me had changed since we got back and he said that his current situation didn’t allow him to have feelings for anyone.! i texted him a msg basically saying thanks for not calling me back after the phone call was disconnected. after 2 months of being a part after all the b. i still cannot call or text him because he has no phone he carries and uses skype. he surprised me the next day and came over, help me run errands, and i was appreciative but that didn’t mean i was going to invite him into my bedroom. enjoy life and fill yourself with good and positive things..But really guys, just tell us what you’re thinking, don’t make us guess, that can cause things to get ruined for no reason! i am happy to provide him with space he needs, or call him out when he is seemingly paralyzed with doubt (he also provides me with level-headedness when i have my doubts and insecurities). for his job he had to go out of state for a month to train.), so i told him i’m happy and life is good, and he shouldn’t feel like he can’t contact me because its too hard for me.’m going through a very similar situation…how did things work out? do believe that people change and based on our recent conversations i think he has. he has recently not texted be before he goes to sleep and tells me he was so tired and just crashed when he got back to the place where they are staying.’m in my fifties and started dating a guy a couple of months ago through an online dating website. i had similar thing happen to me as the poster asking the question and can relate it exactly to your description of what guys do.)…he said he didn’t want to talk about that and it wasn’t important. the radio silence all week was puzzling to me though. he cancels plans, he goes mia for days at a time, he acts distant. i know if i were to ask, as i said, he’d say he told me he wants to be alone and say but he loves me and can’t help it or something like that. if they want a date from you they will confirm a lot earlier than one hour before it! he called me last night but i missed the call, he left a voicemail which was sweet and short (he sounded a little nervous), and said he would try to reach me again tonight…. until today i couldn’t take it and told him i don’t want to hear excuses anymore. however, after there was nothing…we ate, drank and they left. i didn’t handle it very well because i felt rejected and thought i was getting mixed messages and thought i was too old to be going through this type of stuff! i’m just curious, does it sound like he actually wants this? i mean, do what you want… you’re basically saying that if the guy doesn’t do what you want him to do, you move on. he said i was pressuring him even though i was going along with his plan. if he comes back, the “feelings” conversations will begin, and he will be the one to initiate them. your life busy so if he doesn’t come through at one time or another, you have backup options and you’re not left hanging. i would not have thought this was a big deal, if on our third date, when i told him i wanted to take things slow and just get out there and date, and he told me to “get back to him when i’m done dating. isn’t it just very possible that this guy just isn’t into me and i am wasting my time?. see to get you to understand what i am about to tell you ill explain. why should he be in a relationship with you, when you gave away your best cards already by sleeping with him? i know it’s sad but that’s just me. you almost believe you’re in a relationship with her already.’m trying to figure out if he’s interested in more than friendship and am asking others what they might think, based on my long ramble of information. run with your intuition and gut instinct – it’s there for a reason. it is ok to question the guy youre seeing if youre not clear on things. this break up, which has been 4 months long now, 3 months of it has been where it’s like he just snapped and he’s done things like spend his money carelessly, flirted around, slept with someone once- just came across acting very selfish and didn’t seem to care about anything or anyone, including himself. i should have never said that to him and i regret it but now (i am not sure if its solely because of what i said) but he doesnt text as much. often the aquarius feels caged and will do exude effort to expand and search for more out of life, sure the aquarian wants someone with to share the adventure with, but wants someone there who is flexible and inquisitive—without those traits the aquarian would rather go it alone. you falling for a girl who's giving you mixed signals? however here he isn’t going to change with you being available to him, don’t place your eggs in one basket if a guy hasn’t said you are bf and gf yet. i’ve been with a girl where she stops texting me cold… then 3 days later she says, “you didn’t text me for 3 days! let a man show you he is there for you. im trying very hard to be supportive and give her her space to do what she needs, but at the same point its eating the crap out of me, i dont want to lose her!"good grief lauren, how much cave time does she need? i can’t bare the thought of him never talking to me again, do you think he will? but with this recent behaviour of his, i’ve been letting it happen and going with the flow. he says he’s horrible and he hurts everyone’s feelings so he don’t care. we have gone out to dinner (not fancy – he doesn’t have a lot of money, which is ok) gone to a local place to dance, gone to his house and he has fixed dinner and we have watched movies, gone to flea market, etc. issue at hand from what you shared is that…from his perspective you’re all take and no give. he said he will like to stay friends and keep communications lines open between us but if i don’t its understandable. earlier this month she went to ny (we live in florida) for an art/cosplay event. he replied back saying sorry he had been busy & said yes wednesday will work. i replied his email with a very short apology and asked him to call whenever he is ready to talk. she says she still loves me and attracted to me the same but can't be in a relationship right now. you’re gonna have to take a few steps back, get your own place (it sucks) and start afresh, be your independent you, don’t need to break up, but dont call him, and hang out with him 50% of the time he wants to. i read somewhere that men reveal themselves a lot with the way they behave when they are away (e. we been dating for about a month and half and things were great and going smoothly. he got upset about people at work knowing because of this one person i told and apparently those people were telling him that i’m in love with him and he called me a crazy stalker and wants nothing to do with me. said the page where i like you and i’m wondering if this is going anywhere or not, because i don’t want to get hurt. one day he wants to work it out the next day he doesnt. later in the week in a text i ask her "would you like to get together this weekend" she text back "lets talk about it tomorrow morning/saturday. there were red flags from the beginning and i should have paid attention but he always had the right answers and was apologetic. it sounds to me like he was testing you to see if you were the needy kind of girl, and you didn’t pass. part of me thinks she wants to stay with me if she didn't mention our friend's offer. they’re pretty damn ruthless with matters of men, lol. but now i feel like i have been lied to. a nice text to send back to her (if it's genuine for you) would be: "thanks for the update. he told me 1st on the phone that he was scared to tell me but he said he was in love with me, and when the conversation as over he said i love you! i leave for med-school in a week and even though it’s only 6 hours away, i think he freaked out that we were too attached. he never replied so i sent some long paragraph about if we were serious as he stated prior this never would happen and that i care and if he wanted to end things i would understand, i even apologised for being ott. so, i began the process of moving on with my life… i got back to my classes at school, spent time with great friends, went places and did things that were fun before him… i even started dating… the first 2 weeks were horrible! im not sure if that’s because they’re written by a man or what. she actually broke up with me but we still live together. however, what’s the cut off on giving him space? feels wonderful to a woman when a man is attentive to her needs, when he takes care of her and makes her happy. i need to know if i should just move on. makes an Aquarius heart skip a beat faster than another human being that can match wits. i didn’t contact him the following week because i know that v-day can be weird for people and i didn’t want to freak him out. i naturally asked her if i had done anything wrong? well i thought she was just weird because of recently signing divorce papers … after 2 years being separated. i called him the next morning only for him to act as if i intruded on him by calling and he pretty much hung up on me. we shared some time together and she made it known that she wanted to see me. he is keeping in touch with me now by calling and texting." or whatever cute and lighthearted sign off you want to give. we started msging each other in march and used to text every day/video call all the time and everything seemed to be fine up until this past month. if u do need help; and i have extra cash, il give u. i thought his messaging me indicated a real interest in me but then he told me if some other guy is making more effort than he is that i should go out with him, which i have done, and then he seems to get a bit upset about it and asks me why can’t i just go out with my girlfriends? every few days of contact turned into weeks and eventually months. you can just focus on spending some good time with him. i’m pretty sure he liked me the most in the beginning b/c i was always busy, and he himself txted that to me once “wow, you’re busy. we are both now hurting despite that we both love each other.! and be4 i came 2 uni he got me a watch and he got me mad this time so i toke it off and through it out the window! i said that i meant that i felt like we were on different p ages and i know he is busy but i felt that i was more into it than him.^wiser, i agree with stating to her friend what her boundaries are. he has been pulling away and you’ve been following closer, then you need to stop. id say it went wrong when you neglected to ask him what happened because you were concerned. could get worried sick over your suspicions and, because you’re so worried, end up being miserable company to be around… which would degrade your relationship. question…do you think this “very sweet then freaked out” pattern can be generalized to men or is this primarily reflective of an american cultural phenomenon? lauren, you saying her text was "a gift" helped me to realize you are exactly right, i had not thought of it in that way. and i only asked him to do something a couple of times. i did not mind him sharing the comparison with me and other women after me because it let me know he was paying attention to how it was when we were dating which speaks growth on his part. thank you beautiful for this post, i absolutely loved it. girl who leads you on is like an addiction you can’t get rid of. but why should women take the risk of a broken heart and feeling used, just because you think there is a remote chance of it working out? i know he is going on a trip to belgium on sun for work. he would always tell me how much he liked and cared about me, was very affectionate and big on pda, listened when i talked, paid when we went out, told me all the time that he loved my body, and just stuff like, “you can invite yourself to sleepover at my place anytime you want! so if he’s communicating with you and you’re ok with a slow paced “possibility” then see what comes about in this time you’re unable to see one another and if you’re not then take him off of your priority list and worry less about whether he’s into you. i got caught up in the moment and exchanged pics with xxxx. why did he come on so strong for more than just a few dates? haha, it’s obvious to me he’s not actually interested, but since he’s my friend (and yes, i sort of like him) i still feel like it’s a little confusing and unresolved. i did txt for 3 days (once a day) saying things like, “hey sweetpea worried about you hope you are feeling better. she knos is do anything for her so that gives her the advantage. those words go into our minds where we start processing them, just like a man would process what his senses are telling him. there are things you’ve always wanted to do that you’ve been putting off. he recently stopped showering me with kisses and feels as though i expect sex from him everytime we’re together. we had never discussed what it was that we were doing and in a way i wanted to get him to a place where i could get him to open up to me. but that’s probably because she leads on most guys she dates and doesn’t like calling them her ex boyfriends. he called on tuesday, i said when will we meet? sometimes that validation and the reminder that everything is okay makes it easier to do the "space" thing. i am still bewildered so i just said i understand i am sorry i didn’t realize. about a week later he started to distance himself away from me. moment she hears her alarm go off, she jumps out of your arms and lands on her own two feet, determined to strengthen the muscles that have weakened through disuse. but, we will hang out then he will disappear for a few days and i won’t hear from him. now i really can’t get over it coz it was my fault. its one thing to read and keep it moving but you inquired therefore you care. you’re not shutting the door or being cold to him, you’re just keeping your life full of great options so that it takes the pressure off of the relationship to be a certain way. should i back off and see what happens or just come to terms with it being over? i’m thinking is he pulling away as i demanded space at the beginning ? if you two weren’t sexually active before then i’d think he was crazy. because as you said in previous articles match his level commitment to yours. he wasn’t reciprocating or engaging in the conversation, and seemed really uninterested in talking to me. he even took a picture of us together on his iphone.’s where i’m coming from:As far as discussing topics, i’m open to discuss anything on a new mode and in the comments. you should be looking for the same kind of clarity in a guy’s communication. when i finally saw him, we made out and he initiated it. if you need a little more time to settle in, let me know and we can reschedule. upon returning there was a natural settling period, as to be expected. he talks about believing in god and says we’ll go church together on weekends, but most times he finds some excuse not to. i replied to her text as you advised me to do in your previous reply. he also has 4 kids he’s trying to hide me from. i again played it cool & said it was ok & to just let me know when he was free. how else would they be able to protect us women from danger while lost somewhere in the grand canyon?! i’ll admit… it freaked me out a little but i liked him so much that i just fell deep into his trap. for 7 months we had a great time together, and the last two months she was telling me that she loves me and that she wants me , and that she wants to live with me, and to divorce both of us in order to live together.! i know iv made mistakes i did say sorry ( i went mad at uni once and i through a mug at the door and it smashed! sometimes he disappears for 2 days and after that he will call me and say something like why i don’t care about him or why i don’t call him. if you are ok with settling for his company, while being ok with whatever else he does (with or without you), just paly it cool tommorrow, have a good time and live in the moment when you see him-keep reminding yourself to enjoy the moment. when i left he wouldn’t kiss me but cheeked me. and i did not call or tx while i was at home…my neighbour is his best ma8! we, as women, don’t deserve men’s crumbs, we are better than that, and better off alone as opposed to accepting a man’s crumbs or living out his ‘head-messing’. he’s met my friends i’ve met his co-workers too. he also said he hopes if i can stick around till then, but if not he would understand. i've decided to walk away from the whole situation but i'm still baffled as to why she was so bitchy towards me and w. things seem to have gone awry in such a short amount of time. he has made his weekends open to me but i don’t utilize them all because i have friends also. we’ve both done some things we shouldn’t have done. i broke it off and yes, he was just another ship passing in the night. we were suppose to have a dinner date on tuesday but we had to cancel so i brought dinner to him and we stayed in and watched movies and i stayed the night. i really care about him and want to be that person for him and his boys.. we text each other every min or hour but hes the one who started it.@audrey – frankly, a few reasons:A) it’s only a couple of women on here who militantly bring it up over and over again like it’s a cause you are fighting for…. would a guy kiss you if he wasn’t interested? things were much easier, still some bumps, but noticeably easier. from the very beginning he made me aware of some of his ways. i find it interesting he always ask if i had a great time…but i assure him i do every time. since that time she basically stopped communicating with me other than canceling our plans the following day. love this post, relates so much to what im goin thru at the moment. apologize for all the valid issues i have in this relationship – for making her cry.. since when did texting become the end-all in a relationship? a few days later (after he had already started pulling away) he came over and we fooled around, and a few days after that he played baseball with my team and then afterwards we had sex.” i just told him i have been sick, busywith school, and relaxing right now, so i didn’t want to talk at the moment, but he can play any game he wishes to play. am in the same boat here too,i am dating with this guy for 6 months and everything seem really great…he even told me that he misses me and loves me. i want to text him on sunday (that would be a week of no contact) and see what’s up…. everytime we have sex, he says he misses me so much… but now things had change, he had a new girlfriend, but they have broken up now, i dnt knw d cause of their breakup, still he doesn’t want to call or talk to me. i don’t need a label per se, i just don’t want to be playing around. i have been judged, tabled, and thrown to the side because guys go for the sex and move on. right is out there and i’m no longer dealing with mr. met a guy a back in august who works for the same. hope this was somehow helpfull and that it wasn’t too blunt and the example not too far off the case. it’s now tuesday and i still haven’t heard from him. i am a chick, so i love the color, but do you not realize how easy it is to knee-jerk and go to another website with the same goggled information that is more easy to read?. things were going great, and then he stopped returning my texts and calls), i actually ended things with him by e-mail. she will lose attraction to you and you can kiss your sex life goodbye. your forum is fantastic…so informing and straight to the facts! i let him call me, text me, ask me out, but it is always the same thing. guys are likely to recoil when you a) say things in a critical tone b) get all analytical on them., just learnt this freak-out phase and seems i’ve made the mistake which similar to push the buy by texting: “didn’t hear from the guy who said miss me for a week”. we met up for our second date and it was great. and, he always picks up when i call…which is hardly ever anymore because i’m trying to focus on me so i don’t get hurt by this guy. but this will backfire when he will suddenly dissociate himself with you..he said he is my boyfriend and he can’t see any reason why i couldn’t send one…he said he doesn’t understand why i acted like that…and he decided to broke up with me…he even told me he isn’t interested with me anymore, that he will find another woman who will make him happy…we argued through long distance texts…. probably because of that old rule that the man should come to the woman. after a great first week, in which he answered questions i had about her and why he did things and was very supportive he started to pull back. for the clear and concise explanation of a male’s behaviour. then things just suddenly changed, she just started to distance herself from me. the thing is is that when we were talking, he told me that he thought a serious relationship should start out as friends, then dating, then live together then look at marriage… that he jumped into things too fast in the past with exes. no “i love yous” but lots of time building the relationship getting to know each other. some of my best guy friends are married with children to women who they slept with on the first date. at what point do i just let it go and accept that i won’t hear from him? i did send her a letter that pointed out my own flaws and also said that i believe in her and she could accomplish anything in this world. it’s getting to me, because we are not long distance, though it seems that way. i called him thursday night after his last final and left a voicemail asking the same thing, he didn’t call back. eric, i have been dating this guy for 8 months now, and i know he loves me. know some women may say i should not go with him to dinner or try to see where things may go after he left me for other women. we haven’t talked at all in two months but i think about him everyday. sounds to me like it is over, but thanks for your site and advise, will definitely not contact or send any messages until i hear from him, if i every do again. we had a good thing going but this break up was my way of showing him that i’m not his doormat. must say , eric is one of the few real men that has made any sense about other men ! didn’t expect to move in with someone to have that happen. ( i kick myself for not asking him if he comes back or how). she’s distant and aloof when you get clingy or try to trail her all the time. on some occasions he even cancels last minute due to big projects at hand. teases me on a daily basis, about everything under the sun pretty much…and he’s loud about it, making sure that everyone in the room knows that he’s teasing and talking to me. show him that he is not going to bring you down. when you give her a lot of attention, she tries to keep her distance from you. he is also someone that totally avoids any type of confrontation – and avoids disagreements, even though just small things need to be discussed. it does put a strain in the relationship but only for a short period. we are enabling men’s bad behavior and putting ourselves down as women when we tolerate men’s bad behavior. we always had a great time together, and the quality of the time we spent together was amazing, and he was always upfront and honest with me…i just really don’t think he would walk away without even a word. unfortunately i am going through this now and it's very painful. you enjoyed this article, please share it with your friends. just wanted to say how i have found these articles so helpful during a recent confusing relationship. women we feel and we are so quick to vomit those feelings to the guy…why? now with my situation, i finally figured out she is in deep depression and she'll be seeking therapy soon. pretty much have the idea, but i wanted to make something clear: i am not saying to ignore him to give the appearance of having other things in your life. also, in retrospect this article is so right; i have experienced trying to mend a relationship by asking direct questions in hopes of ‘clearing things up’ and reverting the relationship to it’s original blissful state. as eric said “remember, a guy is only as invested in you as the effort he puts into the relationship. i was always happy confused and heartbroken in an endless continuing cycle of love and head torture initiated by an evil sadistic cupid who hated me. course, you’ll feel miserable for letting her get away from you. you in love with a girl who blows hot and cold, who behaves like your girlfriend at times and snubs you like you’re a nobody at other times when she doesn’t need you? quick reply… when a man is going through pain, his desire is to avoid dealing with the pain. we kept contact by texting each other during the week. he was consistent with the text messaging, and as we got to know each other i realized he really was pursing me with all of his affection, and kind words. of lashing out, it’s her job to set her boundary by asking for what she needs: time and space. i’m trying to be optimistic, i really don’t see him just up and leaving, but i’m also starting to get insecure, things were going so well and i miss him a lot! where i’m sitting, i’ve talked with tens of thousands of men and women about their dating lives. i came over to his place and didn’t wanna do anything like jus spend time with him. ok to admit i have someone and he knows it but i doubt it and that man is far, which he knows also.! at the same time we’re repeatedely told to watch out for signs he’s just not that into us! the ex doesn’t bother me anymore at all and that’s a plus! narcissistically i’m quite sure because i really do enjoy reading articles that catch these glimpses especially of myself and secondly others in my life. if he goes mia, let him and don’t call him, don’t go looking for him. im so pissed and my heart so heavy that i haven’t responded to his last message. sex to make a relationship happen doesn’t work either though. thing that an aquarian can really learn from others is the art of intimacy. i told him i just wasn’t myself and didn’t want to. i met the girl of my dream and everything was great until she recently said she wanted some space. or just shoot me a text when you're ready to do something fun together. and i think it’s great that these men and women get to bask in the romantic glow of their partner’s loving attention on this special day. before long we discussed meeting and that turned into a week in vegas where we got married. my question now is how do i reverse that and make him want me more? i just want to know if i’m over reacting when i think he is cheating on me. a guy – did i reject him (and is he punishing me? he wakes me up in intense pain, i have to call 911. i know he’s ok and that he’s going through a rough time, but why is he ignoring me and what should i do? there’s a great quote out there that goes something like, “with great intimacy one does not give up space, but expands both his and hers” (or her and hers or his and his). she convinces you that you’re very important to her and that she needs you. because it looks amateur, and the text it drowned in hot pink. okay, so i ain’t the most experienced dater or move maker but i extended my hand to hold hers during the move and she took it. every time i bring it up- crying and manipulation ensues. each date in the beginning, i took his forward nature as perhaps a “european thing”. i strongly believe that if you two have something real you will find your way back to each other. i want a relationship too and nowadays it’s just as likley that the woman will not want to “lose her freedom” as much as the man.’s kinda shy when it comes to romantic relationships and his comfort zone is knowing that we can hang out and be best friends. it just wasn’t meant to be, and i am feeling just fine with that today.. he never said what he was “thinking”what does this mean if he has clearly indicated in interest in me and the photos and spent the time texting for hours? i had really started to care for this guy before he disappeared.! he even called me by my first name and his last name! these are girls from nice families, great careers (among them doctors, lawyers, high-level managers, etc. it’s not so much that i feel the guy needs to do exactly what i want. so i didn’t bother contacting until i found out there more i sent one text telling him i’m here as friend when his ready to talk so the ball is in his court now. my life is super busy but my mind is really distracted. at first i thought he was just trying to end things, but then from time to time he’ll text me something really sweet, like about how much he wants to see me, or that he’s been thinking about me, so obviously, he’s still interested or why would he do that? so i plan to check up on him if he doesn’t respond by next week to see what’s up. girl has been doing that to me for a long time now, and while she said she couldn’t date me anymore since “im such a valuable friend”, she has been texting me like crazy and petting me once i went cold to get my distance. she was just an operator that wanted an easy ride. he now is living with a women he just met online. but at the same time, i am the one that messed up, and i want so badly to be able to show him that i really do respect his space, want him–and me, to have independence outside of each other, that i don’t want to take him from his friends. and boy does he make me laugh after 3 weeks he told me he loved me and would give up his life to start a new one with me. don’t wait by the phone and cancel all your plans to make yourself available to him. now is not the time to be heavy…he needs you to be light. if he doesn’t, well… there are more fish in the sea. i have been there for her through all the hard times for the last 5 yrs. if things are going too fast, slow it down or he will for you. in fact, this was something i’ve been thinking about writing on in the near future: the evaluating period of the relationship, in pretty much exactly the way that you aptly described it. he doesn’t want to leave or break up our relationship but wanted me to know he has been recently feeling like he is suffocating, that he’s loosing his freedom, and that at brief times gets resentful of me, to the point he doesn’t want to be around me, or kiss me. she went from hot to cold literally overnight ( i think i scared her off by asking her to be my girlfriend though, it just slipped out! what did stand out was the planning around pay days that you mentioned a few times. you’re confused and frustrated, annoyed and angry, and yet, you can’t leave her or walk away from her because she knows just what to say and do to dig her nails deeper into your heart. didn’t respond i felt like a fool for caring but now i feel like i took control. i’m not trying to chase after him for a relationship. know it is hard to think about it right now, but you will eventually move on. then you can see things for what they really are and figure out what was truly going wrong in the relationship and if it is worth saving. now the hard part: i went from being busy everyday to being around him 3-4days a week. problem is that the only direct way i have to contact him is by email. i told him that i can’t date him because he’s putting in zero effort and seems to be no interest in his side. however it is a bit ridiculous when he doesn’t get back to you for age, but by then as the person i am ; have learnt to fold it and move on ! then ask yourself if your push for more than what he’s willing to give right now is healthy. imagine if you gave that kind of answer to a bank about a loan…. when i came home without her (my dog), i saw all of her things and just felt such pain. we spend a fair bit of time together and there is lots of affection and daily little bits of communication to help us feel close. was he only pursuing you with kind words and affection, what did his actions say?” i never asked him to get off the dating websites, i just asked that he let me know if he wants to date other people and to just be honest with me. fulfillment in your relationship is his responsibility too, but remember your side of the responsibility. to be emotionally abusive, he would have to intend to affect you this way and i’m sure he doesn’t. she said she wants things to go slow because we went too fast last time. then we made out and he wanted to have sex. and i must say it started out with all the txting and ‘missing u’ bits. it's now a week ago and she has hardly spoken too me still getting the hump i'm at the stage where now im loading all hope. so much passion and forgivness mentally and emotionally when fighting and when not.. i keep my contact to one to two text a day. i know i’m pretty stubborn with what i want to hear, but like second opinions when i’m completely baffled by people’s behavior, so thank you for responding! =)” i just want him to know i’m busy too. finally i was fed up with his behavior, i called him saturday night and left a voicemail asking him to call me back because i wanted to talk to him. when you give her the space because she’s being distant, she immediately changes her behavior and starts craving for your attention when you back away. the ball has been in his court for more than long enough, and he’s chosen not to hit it back. when i study my mind always wanders and welcomes distractions….– yday i texted him saying be safe and have a good night. i could tell we both really like each other but perhaps we were scared. i was just googling random things and issues i had with an ex recently and you clearly answered all of my un-answered questions, thank you thank you thank you! she doesn’t remember you or care about you when she’s having fun. i also wonder why someone would have a phone with no voicemail, so people can call and leave messages, and why he doesn’t respond to text messages . i responded, but acted like nothing was wrong and didn’t ask any questions. 5) she always wanted me to be there for her whenever she ha an art function/exhibit or social gathering. when he called me his girlfriend on the phone i was being nerdy and on facebook put that i was in a relationship with him (its still pending his approval) i feel like i should have let him do this first, but all the signs leading on made me do it since i don’t want to be available to anyone else. [read: 18 easy failproof ways to get a girl to fall in love with you]. after his class (group class wt many ppl)) he text me asking if i enjoyed it…. these books weren’t written in the 80’s, and who cares if they were, 99% of relationship counsellors and psychologists can’t be wrong on this. have met a man about a month ago, we met few times, i have been to his bday but all with people around. this is now about him and not about what you feel. i have no plans in contacting him again until he comes out from hiding, but the thing is i know he’s going to start texting me again and saying he wants to go out again (because he keeps doing it)..So i guess i’m just wondering what you think about the above…. she will never trust you again as you have shown your true colors. i’ve been doing my own thing and focusing on myself. before yesterda he invited me and my guy friend to eat, we went and he asked for my number.'s living about 3 hours from me and i have visited her several times and it's always been amazing. the more you date around, the better you can compare and remember your worth. raised expectations and a neediness to connect are often the drivers. i told him that i loved him back and kissed him too. the ball is in his court, so let him chase you. he drove to come see, which is a 1hr drive but he only stay for 3 hours and said he had to leave.” seems to me that if he cared he would make the attempt to call and talk. he even said he knows he we will regret pushing me away but thats what he does . i honestly think these dating tactics that revolve around men have occurred due to the general scarcity of eligible bachelors for all the single, man-hungry women out there! as mentioned on this site before, it is about how much self esteem you have in relation to what you are prepared to put up with. i think you might send him the wrong message if you play it too cool. was wanting to move in with me after dating for 4 yrs, but he wasn’t putting his plans in motion about it. told him l couldn’t do this not right now and by that l meant arguing. i am in the “freak-out” phase right now, where the guy is doing the freaking out. i can’t figure out why i seemed to have been devalued so much. she is really awesome and i'm not sure what to do. he arrived to florida the sunday before thanksgiving and we could talk at the phone., i understand this is tough because you don’t want to give up on your guy, so this is a hard recommendation to hear. i also know he is really worried about his country right now. and next time you want to pull away just do it, dont tell him. he would text me things like, ‘i miss you’ and ‘can’t wait to see you’ and on our second date he said he ‘never liked a girl so much after only two dates’. met a man who i have been dating for more than 1 month now.

Responsive when together, Distant when not? (dating, women

i was worried, so i texted him on sunday to see if he would want to hangout, he said he was too tired. he brought me back presents, told me he brought back some bread to make me an egyptian breakfast, etc. i’m born on valentine’s day and this article describes how i am and what i require to perfection very good job on this we aquarius are hard to understand for most and i hope this helps some people out. but when i call, he still sometimes doesn’t pick up and doesn’t call back. turns out the ex girlfriend whom he fell in love with and evidently wanted her to compromise on somethings including her children, birthday was yesterday. (trust me i have dated alot of players, so i can tell the difference). i'm 47, i have had a couple longer relationships and a 15 year marriage but i have never experienced love like this. we have not seen each other in person in well over a month. my thought had generally been that the random facts on the back of snapple caps were more interesting and useful. but it seems now that i’m going to be available this other guy has backed off and is mostly ignoring me. i sent a in a relationship status no confirmation yet, but he hasn’t ignored it. i dont really hear from him so much anymore which is quite disappointing. [read: how to tell a friend you love her without losing her]. the survivors are the ones who can accept the realities and pick themselves, rub their bruises, dust themselves off and keep on moving – gracefully and without aminosity. i was his first choice he knew the royalty was there but because the crown was not visible on my head he passed. she may tell you that she loves you and needs you, and yet, she doesn’t behave like your girlfriend. when he is really interested he will make sure he sees you when he says he wants to. only when i strayed would she really give me any respect. throughout the duration of the relationship, he would still pull back and then go forward. it takes time to get to know who some one really is. point is that if you play “cheating detective” in your head, you will drive yourself nuts… and you’ll waste a lot of energy. last time i saw him, he called me the next day and asked to hang out, but i had to decline because i had so much work to do. i met a younger guy a few months ago through a family friend and we’ve gone out a few times. i could use a little perspective, if you or another reader can help. your site has offered her some helpful advice, and i just couldn’t help commenting. i get one phone call a day that is it and maybe an email. he gets somewhat moved too, but i can see he’s always leading things on so it fits his agenda and needs and boundaries. so, my question is how do i react toward her? i wasn’t too sure if i should stand up for myself yet, but after readin this i realized he’s just calimg it down! i do stand by the notion conversations need to be had. it was nice just sitting around chatting and we talked about how i have liked him for some time and how he had liked me too but never thought to ask me out. i said that would be fine, anytime she wanted to show up and join us. see he freaked out on me once and broke it off because he didn’t want a relationship.’s not about what you say or do really, it’s the feelings and intent underneath it all. i don’t feel any “vibes” from him as far as really liking me. if nothing does happen within a certain time frame, then you should move on with your life. i have been able to stay strong this week and play it cool and when i feel weak i reread this advice and breath! i must say i’m a busy girl; always have been and always will be..but i can’t find any valid reason why i have to send my naked picture. this is soooo crazy i could go on and on but i don’t want to take up time but i don’t want him to go again i have been texting him cussing him out and then i text and left voicemails pouring my heart out to him and he still won’t respond, what do i need to do that is my heart and i don’t want to lose him? i want to know why he acts so different now then what we did ewhen we first got together. he always ask how my day is, that he loves me, misses me, and thought about me all day, and tells me amazing and beautiful frequently. i don’t expect a response, but have my doubts if i should bother at all. it’s just going to click and you’ll know that he loves you. i played it cool both when we had plans (nothing specific, we just arranged to meet on a specific day and i didn’t hear back from him the day we were supposed to meet ~ he later said he overslept…) and when ii stopped hearing from him. think my boy friend is seeing someone, i found a woman’s name and number on. he wasn’t teasing me about it when he was asking all these questions, he seemed to really want to figure out and find out what my type was. he eventually called asked to see me and wanted to try dating again, and told me how much he loved me. he said he didn’t know and not to wait coz it’s not fair on me. women need higher self-esteem, boundaries and respect for themselves to avoid this happening. gisele, i’m glad to hear that you made that decision and i totally get what you’re saying. i met a guy 2 monthes ago, we texted for awhile before meeting up again. because of you i think i slowly start to understand a man’s mind 😀. for us girls, we need to step back and look at the situation from the outside in at times because we can get a little ahead of ourselves. cool… i’m flattered that your friend referenced something from a new mode. he brought his friend to my flat for a drink and everyhting was great. could look at this as a wake-up call and respond to him and your relationship positively.’re probably giving your heart away to a girl who could just be toying with you, because she feels like it! i told him i only asked because i was still confused about what really went wrong…. i hope having sex with him so soon didn’t change his mind, but i know alot of people do it was quicker. problem i can’t really tell him in person because he does not answer my calls. should i reply and what would be an appropriate response. but i'm strong willed and know what i want , and believe in loyalty devotion and honesty . casually text the last couple of days just a hi how are you etc. though i must admit the lack of time together is really getting to me. i'm in the first six months of a great relationship with a woman that i really like. was he trying to be just friends, was he testing to waters to see what our chemistry was like? question eric, is that why do we have to put up with insecure men like this who freak out? then the fast forward mush machine,”i never felt like this, i would bet my house that you are the one,etc. she tells me that she loves me, that this last couple of days have been terrible for her and that it has been hard to take this decision but she wants to live with honesty and truth in her life and that she needs to think of her. after sometime he just starts withdrawing,he claims he loves me,but he is busy trying to make ends meet. as much all guys would love to bitch about girls or grumble about how fickle a few girls are, there is still a pretty big chance that the girl you like isn’t leading you on at all! we’re not in a relationship and i know going into this he couldn’t commit or have anything serious. at this point, he’s afraid that everything he said in the beginning has led you to believe that you guys are a couple and he starts acting in a way that shows you this is not the case. i’ve decided to set mine aside and try to learn from our interactions. mindful communication for the digital age: join elephant academy’s self-paced, online writing class. i dont know what to do, how should i get him back? i’ve never been a fan of love advice columns or what not. man, eric, your columns are honestly bang on the best advice for women i’ve ever read! but now she says she not disrespectin him anymore and within 2 week she is gettin a div. college years are over and things are starting to get serious but not that serious. the anxiety and neediness of a lot of women to hunt, find and snag down a man for themselves is an unbearable turn off for most men. not sure if my friends will ever speak to me again because they just think i’m being a doormat. i am finding myself in a very similar, almost identical, situation as this and i too do not know what to do. 2- do you think the door is shut by now? he said well my friends are waiting for me i need to go i will call you tomorrow. even though i told her it was ok, if she wanted space, i would give it to her. and once in that place of empowerment, i do my best to give them a seed for insight. while he was there he texted me twice and i said hi on facebook once and small talked a little. i want him to want me as part of his life. i am very interested in seeing where this could go but i don’t want to scare him off by seeming needy or smothering.’ve been good friends with this guy for almost 4 years. i’ve been advised and read articles online that playing it cool and give him space is the best way to handle it. couple of weeks later i saw him and everything was perfect but he hadn’t asked me out. with him taking care of her, she forgets to exercise the muscles she needs to take care of herself.“…he gave me some of his clothes to wear home on our second date. we went out to a movie perhaps two weeks later, at one point i asked her if she reciprocated my feelings, she told me that she had actually gotten back with her old boyfriend from her junior year and that she and i were just friends, i was taken aback but who wouldn’t? it kinda puts ease to that anxiety like us guys are messing something up. you so very very much for posting this article, it was really helpfull 🙂. i text when i leave, when i arrive, he knows what i’m doing at all times and who i’m with if anyone which is only female friends. we got together for a couple drinks (his idea), but he didn’t bring anything up, we just … chit chatted., so i think this is a great website and is very helpful for women! if he texts or calls me should i wait to answer back or not pick up the phone? if he does come back and try to keep dating me, he is going to have a hard time convincing me he is worth my time because anyone who just bails and then thinks they can hide behind the excuses you have described have quite a bit of growing up to do, in my opinion. are many women so eager to invest because he’s said some pretty words? then one night he cooked me this great dinner, unfortunately i had one to many beers, and while we were talking about past relationships i made a dumb comment about how i found relationships in college to be pointless and dumb soemtimes. i told him that anything after 10pm is a booty call, and he said that he wants more than just sex…he wants a girlfriend and a relationship eventually. but i know if he came back today i’d forgive him. i can stand being without him for a short time but i need help on what to do to get him back. i’m so confused right now i really don’t know what to think. i figure it is only dinner and we are friends., my honest take on it is that you should leave it alone so i agree with your sentiments that you picked up he wasn’t reciprocating or engaging in the convo. much easier said than done (believe me, i understand how hard it can be), but try your best. maybe the solution isn’t to figure out how the game is played, because let’s face it every one has their own bag of tricks and often you can’t apply these rules across the board to every person you date…. she replied, angrily saying i hadn't respected her space and need for time, and that if i want to believe that she is not interested, then she isn't interested. i just get rejected or no emotion back from her iv tryed anything and everything , to the point now where iv asked if she wants to be with me does she love me, what do you want from me and i just get the same treatment. he’s talked about getting a job closer to where i live. i started this fling with this guy at work and he was really into in the beginning. he even got off the dating website three days after our first date and a week after our first date he wanted to be exclusive. let me be clear: in this day and age, you don’t need anything.“but i would say that when it comes to relationships, it behooves us to be great and not just try to appear like we are. and he always brought it up saying i through it at him!’t be afraid to let go—maybe love is there but also with it, too much distant or coldness—don’t string along the aquarian. now he has withdrawn, and i’m having the deal with the fact i got use to him always around, and me not being busy that i got to get back into my routine, because yes, he’s completely stopped txting, stopped askin what ive been up to, stopped coming over, stopped askin for my work rota so to make time to see me in the week. but weeks go by where he loses complete interest and doesn’t initiate us seeing eachother. on the day he was leaving i txt him and asked if everything was okay and got a txt back saying, “yeah, just busy. he began to say that was very busy and tired, that sorry, but he had to cancel the plans. saying things that make me think this could turn into a relationship and something more. dear, you didn’t make him hungry for you, he got you too easily. every contact we ever made (fb, phone) was from his side. you just need to be sure youre ok with your level of attachment. i asked him to go for coffee yesterday but he had other plans. he responded saying he understood and respected my decision but told me he didn’t understand what i mean’t by “moving on through facebook”, assuring me that things hadn’t really changed for him, that he was just focussing on work and that other than that life was pretty boring…(which is funny because in his previous messages he kept telling me how he was partying loads and having a great summer). it simply means dont freak out and start fixing things. ps: we are both women, she is 22 and myself 26 and she takes antidepressants. i just found this really cool looking (restaurant/hike/coffee shop). could you give your input if i'm doing the right thing of letting her still live with me (she has no money or anywhere to go), and that we're working to fixing her depression. thing not posted as an answer is that she is just looking for a friend with benefits. i hadn’t felt this way in a really long time. things have been going great we talk till the early hours of the morning. came (and he always keeps his word), but i get a textmessage, that he wouldn’t come and he thought i would be angry. he makes me happy makes me feel whole and i want to be with him as much as i can. if not should i respond back to it or just not bother responding at all? she keeps tellin me we are fine and sometimes thats she loves me but not like she did before. exchanging emails through a dating site, the guy emails phone number and email address where we start texting/emailing. he said well if he doesnt feel like talking then he wont. girls who love leading guys on have fragile egos, and when you drive a stake into her weak ego, she’d hate you for it. i was done with work, i texted him (as he told me tell him as soon as i was finished) but i got no response. perhaps this person may not be the right one for you after all? but we definitely do a lot of talking because we are both intelligent women. just please weigh up carefully what you have answered to my above questions once you have thought them through. he says he needs to tell me something in person, i am charmed and say sure. since then i’ve been dating new people, seeing a therapist, partying with friends, reading new books, focusing on work; and right when i think i’m about to get over him, he contacts me again; and most recently with “i really miss you”. on a surface level it appears you’ve suddenly gotten more annoying.” he responded that due to being out of town for work, his mia was valid, that’s he’s been thinking about me & what a good time he had with me. never move in with a guy you just met period. i didn’t stay the night with him cause i had things in the morning, he made his driver take me home. asked him why he hasn’t been wanting to hangout as often.[read: how to read mixed signals from a girl and turn it into love]. we are currently still on the break and agreed to see each other after the exam, meanwhile can i send her a little message saying 'good luck for exam? so many time wasted and so many tears shed… thank you for sharing this, i will try to keep this in my mind from now on…. it wasn’t a big to-do, just a casual thing. our relationship had been bliss up until i told her this. was reading an article about men pulling away when everything is going great in the beginning stages of dating. i kept contact to a minimum over the last few months (only 1 or 2 short messages) and we haven’t spoken in around 3 months…i decided to delete him from my facebook friends about a month ago as it was too hard for me watching him add new girls to his facebook friends (no idea who they are and if its more than friends, but didn’t help me wondering). at least thats what he said and i was afraid to tell him i felt the same. i am so happy for you, your lucky lady and your relationship. i love it and totally appreciate the hopefully minor tradeoff he gets with having some people occasionally missing the finer points and end objective, i. from then onwards the past 5 days i haven’t heard of him. of course, here is where i begin making my mistakes! she told me that i made her happy and picked her up when she was down, but it scared her at the same time and wants to take things slow. have been in many of the same kind of relationships myself as described by you until i realised that i simply attracted the wrong guys for me. what is great is that he hasnt blamed you for his lack. proponent of chivalry and romance, vinod srinivas sees himself as a gregarious gentleman with an active imagination, who still manages to spend more time livi. would it be the wrong message to say im still single or should i just cancel the awaiting confirmation and leave it as in a relationship and wait till he talks to me or texts me first? my friend is always very affectionate with me in how we communicate, and i know he does like me for who i am, but then his actions are not nearly as attentive. it’s not that i don’t want to spend time with you, it’s that i need time alone. then things started to change he went to work that day, and only called me once to explain to me what got upto on sat night. he said “i didnt know you would push me away for two months. millions of women pass through here – and i’ve spoken to tens of thousands of women. i would say give it 3 weeks with no contact if you don’t hear from him bye. i asked him if he’d be willing to tell me when he feels that pressure from me. i think that’s good advise if you yourself don’t run hot cold. i felt we had a real connection including shared history. fair game to any women who wants to spread herself thin on a whim, but it certainly isn’t a sensible idea. this guy came into my work about 2 weeks ago and he was super charming and cute and when he was leaving he gave me his number.. not on monday not on tuesday not on wednesday, i texted her asking what was going on? i left him alone all week and respectful of his busy school/work schedule. i don’t feel that you really loved me anyway…you love your dogs…i was just an escape from idaho. mean, if you read this article in the first place it’s because you were wondering why some guy didn’t text you back. at one point, i told her she has to go for my sanity's sake. at first i complained cause he promised to stay with me at least for a week but he told me that he is also shocked with the change of schedule and asked me to leave soon. it reminds me of the “rubber band theory” in men are from mars… asking for advice here is probably a long shot, but i will give it a go:I have been casually seeing a guy for a couple of months. she jumped ship for a guy that visibly made lots of cash.” it’s all very heady stuff and i fall asleep next to him. why stay with her for business after the break up. the other lives just a few blocks away and they too still communicate. click to tweet: why women pull away in relationships and need "me-time. an entire 8-9 days go by and nothing so i decided, a bad judgement call, to text him a kind of inside joke of did i get put on the no call list or did he buy a cat. it also gives aquarian partners the opportunity to do their own thing as well. i haven’t read his response yet (tied up at the moment) but just having something (good or bad, and a chance to communicate) is better than the nothing (not knowing where we stand as friends) that i’ve been going through all this time. he also was very bothered by the fact that i’m a few years younger (but completely legal). she agreed and seemed happy i would be there for her. just remember, be honest and upfront in your choice and be willing to accept the consequences of your actions, be it good or bad. again, this isn't easy but when you respect a partner's need to pull away, it can really deepen the connection and trust in a relationship. in truth, you won’t really know what his intentions are. i think it is a waste of time, money and energy to date without boundaries and expectations. the moment, she doesn’t have those tools and she probably doesn’t know what’s happening to her. he kept asking me to come and see him so i did. i told her concentrate on her art/cosplay and not to worry about anything. now she has a lot of issues with work and family and i think she gets depressed but can't prove it. i’m not ready to jump into anything big right now…. and why is it that you have to be the one tha calls him? might not like how the guy behaves (i work with plenty of guys who don’t like how the girl behaves), but it is what it is and you can only control yourself and your reaction. you shed any light on what you think is up here? just wanted to say how amazing and insightful you are! but all in all a truely amazing women in my eyes. now she isn't replying to my messages like she did before. is my exact relationship for the past 3 years on and off i just can’t get away but after this and her matching 14 of the 15 i think it will really help and i can finally find myself again. specifically i recently had an odd turn of events happen that i have yet to experience and was wondering if you could help me clarify. the only thing you can do at this point is choose what is important to yourself. we got along great from the start, with same sense of humor and interests, we can joke around but also be very serious and he seems to have made me the main focus.. and that was a week ago, it is really shocking for me since she went from being totally into me to then disappear all in one night. we are still living together and broken but i told her that i wanted to be there for her during this time and to help her recover. he has told a friend of mine when she asked if he had a grilfriend that he was taking a break from dating for now. this girl who’s leading you on may tell you about all the guys who are giving her attention, and she may even tell you about a guy she’s falling for. we get so stary eyed and filled with fantasy that we push too much and never stop to enjoy the moment and yes to most guys this will set off their needy alarms. i never read into anything, bc from what i observe, he has a really affectionate way of relating to everyone, and i typically didn’t think of him beyond friends. i don’t want to tell him not to see he friends, i just don’t know if i can trust the situation. then one i day when i was cleaning his bedroom i got condoms wrapped in a paper. leads to them either not caring at all because they know they can’t please you and just ignoring your feelings altogether… or straight up leaving. how can you tell if a guy needs space and time and is insecure as opposed to playing the woman along? after that, i told myself i was done and that he clearly wasn’t interested in me anymore. it was like no matter what, he was always convinced that i wasn’t into him. ran across your website today trying to find some advice for surviving the “freakout” period (happy to know that it has a name, btw).), being a bit claustrophobic, giving out about broken promises etc etc – to prove you’re actually different, you’re not all that negative energy? believe me, there are guys out there who say the same thing about women, but from the other side – and i give them the same recommendation as i’m giving you here. you spend time focusing on how to become more content, more happy, more fulfilled and have more fun in general regardless of what he’s doing, you’ll find (almost magically) that he will come back. he wants to be the best boyfriend he can be and spend every waking moment with me or he thinks i’ll leave him so that’s why he wants to be friends and not date bc of all the stress. what you say makes a lot of sense but i’m seeing a lot of contradiction in the statements that i would like your help in clarifying. i really like you”, she responded i like hanging out with you too. you want to see how they will impress you but you also want to really get to know them. i am really hurting right now and need some advice. if that’s true, then why is he still doing these things.’m not badgering him to talk, i’m not that female, if he says he doesn’t want to talk about it…i move it right along to something more light. i know i hurt him deeply, and blown his trust. just everytime we are together it is at his place making out. he has asked personal things as well, if i live alone or with family or……. i wouldn't worry too much about her joining your business/industry for two reasons. girl who’s leading you on may be using you! we’ve spent a large amount of time together in bliss and we both seemed to really enjoy the attachment.) if a man is dating you and bringing you into his world, he likes you on some level and is attracted on some level, so just always assume the best in that department. we both decided to take things slow, and he decided that we should wait to sleep together. that was two weeks ago and he has never responded…i know that it’s over, but i really liked him and i really miss him and want this to work. i just know he’d say he still feels he wants to be alone. if he takes a step back and you follow, he’ll do it even more to see how far you’ll follow. whether it was to say hi, tell me about his day, wish me a happy day, set up our next date, or send me silly videos or articles he thought i might like, we were in contact daily. a writer’s perspective, i thought his answers were incredibly well structured, thought out, and carefully articulated. that is really the only way we can be together, since when i leave we would have to be married for her to immigrate along with her daughter. i let him have his space for two days because i knew he had his kids those days. if you are worried, concerned, needing of attention, feeling lonely or anything other than a totally and completely content state… then talking to you won’t be a relief from stress… it will be an addition to it. i ha e told him i want out cause i can’t handle it anymore. maybe you’re the wonderful exception, but i didn’t get that from a dating book, i got it from being treated like dirt. we saw each other about 2 or 3 nights a week, went to dinner, movies, dancing, sleepovers, double/triple dates with his roomies, made dinner together, blah blah blah, everything was perfect. he wants to see where things go but i told him only time with him will show me the change in him. my ex wants to be friends and i want more, and i have told him this many times. well now my schedule is pretty open and he’s constantly working…we will plan dates, but if a job comes up he will cancel. how can i tell if he’s taken me out of the friendzone and wants to move forward with me. you already mentioned something to him and got an unclear reply. when i confronted him he said he met another woman and was moving in with her.? well after our last time hanging out, he has been mia: like a good 5 days between each contact. must have been written by someone whos endured this kind of head torture. when i dropped her off at her apartment after that we hugged for a good 2 minutes and of course we both had tears coming down our eyes and she told me i think everything is going to be ok and i said i sure hope so and i left. is going fine, although i didn’t miss the homework. just all of a sudden one weekend he just told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship even though we’d previously discussed it and before he was all for one. he had a portrait of my son and i in his room as well). most people fall in love without thinking months or years down the line, mostly because they feel being in a relationship be natural. i beg to differ i think she has held back so she can get to kno this guy i maybe wrong but it seems abit strange that she all of a sudden is being distant. he said he doesn’t want to be your boyfriend or for you to be his girlfriend. also…did i ruin it by showing neediness in the beginning? that’s a much better use of your attention than playing nightmare-scenarios in your help or fearing what he and this girl might be up to., i live in dc and the man in question lives in atlanta. he held my hand for most of the time and shared a few kisses, told me things like: i’m so happy baby, i never thought i could be this happy again, i love you so much. we had dated for a month, he pulled away with no response all of a sudden, but sent me a text 10 days later telling me he was out of town (he travels a lot for work). is a problem i have definitely experienced a few times and i like parts of what you said here. she may make out with you, or she may cuddle and cozy up with you now and then. i work a lot almost 7 days a week , on nights mainly, we need the money like everybody though it's not the be all and end all. in fact the other party will not forgive unless they get something out of it as well. imo to ask something like “how do you see me” will likely communicate to a guy “i’m asking for your approval. through all this time, we’d talk every 1-2 months on average, he’d call on my birthday every year, on christmas, and we’d talk online every weekish. and when you don’t get that “something” from him (maybe he says he doesn’t want a boyfriend-girlfriend situation… or he doesn’t call or text as often as you’d like… or he doesn’t show you his love in the way you want…), then your world falls apart. i bet that the little love and affection you get from him makes you feel like a tropical flower, which gets a couple of raindrops – just enough to keep it alive to have one flower. i mean no disrespect here but men are people too and they have the same range of emotions as we do. if you put your energy here, even in the privacy of your own thoughts, he’ll pick up on it and it will damage your relationship. didn’t respond i felt like a fool for caring but now i feel like i took control. he seem pretty into me, he would call me but was mainly a texter. he wasn’t calling me the pet names he was calling me before and he sure wasn’t treating me like he was when he first arrived back home. it’s been three months and i’m considering making contact with him again. it has been a wonderful 3 months with this lovely gal where my heart and my mind are in sync, until one week ago. i had a hard time standing up to him and it caused alot of hurt to the guy i was dating. men need to wait a few weeks of several dates, minimum. then in the beginning of january he messaged me on a dating website, not realizing he already knew me. your article was great and informative, however, i am a sensitive woman and a bit hurt and confused since i am a woman also. will be full of picture perfect couples – getting engaged, flashing new jewelry, bouquets of flowers, etc. she said that she didnt feel good when she annoyed me or irritated me even though i loved it and felt even closer when we did. the 3rd week was much easier, i was very busy with my son’s senior prom, his graduation, and the grad party (all in the same week)… j was no longer dominating my every waking (and sometimes sleeping) moment… i am beginning to feel so much more normal and happier, then last night i got a text from him about a vehicle i bought from him that we were having issues with (the last time we had text each other, 3 weeks ago, was about the warranty… we had been texting for a few minutes and i tried to call him to talk instead of texting, again he wouldn’t pick up the phone) so, after that night i stopped any kind of contact. if he does, great, he’s further invested in you. how can we make him as comfortable as possible so he doesn’t get freaked out? so actually she called and asked if i wanted to come over and watch “lost”, she had just gotten her wisdom teeth out. the answers will startle you into a refreshed way of thinking..but only when he does and if he does not …. he should know by now that i am anything but that. if a man text’s you five times a day, calls you 247, moves too fast or seems too good to be true, ladies he might just be, look out for yourself. he texted me after he finished moving his daughter off to college & asked if i had plans that night. she has said she will reach out when she feels ready; i hope so, with all my heart. is exactly word to word what is happening with me since last 8 months…i could just not beleive when i was reading this , as if i had somehow written is myself. his text: “i know it doesn’t mater and you can believe me or not, but i am not seeing anybody nor did i ever cheat on you since i met you. you can say that we're still in the talking stage where we agreed to take things slow, spend time to get to know each other. he thinks if he doesn’t spend every day with me or text me every hour that i’m going to leave him. they see beyond what is there; they’re creative, innovative, and will say and do the strangest things; accept it, embrace it, enjoy it. so many articals i wish i had read before failed my last marriage. plus now he knows i do like him a lot, so part of the quietness might be his whole internal freak out happening, who knows. i dont think its necessary to tell us either but here is my take on things…. not only that, my life will be totally upside down when i return. he messaged me the day after he got back and we have chatted a little bit. dating and going out with a man is like one big game, because the things that we as women are required to do seem to go ‘against the grain’ of our natural womanly, biological instincts to verbally communicate, connect and give love freely.. i always tell him how everything will be ok when hes stressed out abt work and school. i texted him one night a few days later, asking if he had made it back in town yet, which he responded 48hrs later that he had. ” because the statement is focusing on his opinion of the her, rather than what she wants for herself in general. now i understand my behaviour in the past - why i looked for all the little faults in him, why everything he did got on my nerves, why i tried to pick little fights with him so he'd back off. he will more than likely still steer the ship, but it will be going in the right direction, he won’t be afraid of careening into deeper waters, and he won’t be giving you that massive headache that all the others seem to. at this stage you have nothing to lose and something to potentially gain. i can see now – she is dangerous and there is probably a reason the others before me have left her. yesterday, he called me during the day and we met in the evening… we slept together, i know it was too fast but it was really good.” maybe try not being the first one to text him and see if you hear from him again; that’s giving him the space to come to you. so i’ve decided to back off and focus on my life and not take the role of a committed person before i actually am. should i text him again like last time, saying i understand he has other priorities but that i’m not making the effort when i get nothing back, or should i leave him completely? 2) a woman is more likely to need to pull away in the beginning of a relationship as she gets used to someone else sweeping her off her feet.” and i try to be funny about not seeing him and just say, “yea, i know you’re mr. if you're not exclusive, continue to date other women until this one gets clear. know that perhaps that is not a traditional route…but i don’t play games and if something seems wrong i’m very direct. you seem to have hooked up with a guy who is very much based in a so to speak “conservative” mind. we've been growing very close and she has even stated many times how she really likes me and all sort of other mushy stuff. i know i have the time and actions thing to prove and i am honestly and truly doing all i can that i know of and i really can’t think of anything else i can do. i really appreciate you saying that and i’m especially flattered that you liked my stuff even though you don’t typically like love columns. cut a long story short , we never get time alone our daughter is 15 years old and is a typical teenager . how do i make him work for me without making him feel i’m not interested? was a great read and exactly what is going on with the guy i am dating right now. comes a stage lady when you need to draw the line and just walk away. it hasn’t even been 24 hours so i understand not hearing from him and i don’t expect to heard from him for a few days, but i can’t help but feel extremely worried that he won’t. you will get some temporary satisfaction but more importantly you will let others know not to mess with you and be their doormat. things were going really great, my friends all noticed how obvious it was that he adores me, he went out of his way to spend quality wholesome time together, was very very affectionate… basically like a love sick puppy, and this went on for 5 months. well with me being a girl, i was too pushy. i would say reclaim your sense of identity and stop obsessing over this guy as first priority! but then again, since he actually made a subtle but definite move recently, my message to him could be a “fig leaf” back into our close friendship (he must have been scared away when i shared too much in a letter prior to arriving in town). i always love to hear that what i wrote connected with someone and actually made sense. now over the period of 3 years we would fight argue and he would end it and tell me to go on with my life and i would literally beg him not to leave but he is the stubbornest person i know and he left and i had no choice to let it go but he would always be the one to call like nothing ever happend and tell me he is coming over and we would start back over fresh. it's probably that kind of respect for her freedom that is allowing her to open up to you more fully than she has in past relationships. we havent messaged as muchand when we do its short and today he went off about how affection makes things boring then annoying because i remarked he had said something cute and hadnt done that in a while since we started talking and then when i went um. hes going to school for video game design and they really have a lot of first we met online, then we started meeting each other and everything was perfect, he just left me 4 days ago from a 3 week visit, he told me he didnt love me anymore, but then he says he loves me more than a friend but he doesnt know what hes feeling or what he wants in his life right now, im confused and torn apart from my anxiety, when asked multiple times why he doesnt love me he says he cant explain it, but he wants to keep a good friendship, and yet i am close to death, and just lost a baby he never onced called to see if i was ok, he sayshes busy, what do i do? isn’t being invited to a graduation party mean that?. i even flew there again last new year to spend the holiday with him. his follow up response was a suggestion we meet up some time this week; however, a week has gone by and i have yet to see him because he has some type of “dermatological problem he will tell me about later”. i have believed everything he tells me because he has given me no reason to believe otherwise. they feel a tremendous pressure to perform a certain way because they know if they don’t you’ll be upset. i turned him down not cause i wanted to but because i have developed strong feelings for him. my friends have even said that he definately likes me. and he told me he will not dissappear and that he will call me in a few weeks, when the smoke’s cleared. i met this girl for month's ago, we had a 1 week relationship and broke up. i want to move forward with him but don’t know how to tell i’d he does as well. have just started meeting my ex again and she came to me we were txting and stuff then started meeting more.

Single edge scheermes

5 Warning Signs That Your Girlfriend Is About To Leave You

. i met this guy online abt 8-9 months ago he lives across the country. he said he needed space to get things more sorted out in his life and that he needs to figure things out. have you ever heard the saying, “just because he’s in a relationship/married, it doesn’t mean he stops being a guy? it definitely helps a lot, and relieves a huge amount of stress. and then i realized: it’s because i keep letting him come back, picking right back up from where we left off. you screw your mind and obsess about where the relationship is going. i do not know what can i do to have a second chance on our relationship, although the relationship is pretty young i feel like she backed up without knowing how close my separation was and also scared of developing emotions too fast. i noticed it right after a baseball game we went to where we held hands and were touchy the whole night. now what i’m thinking is like the article says, play it cool. i have been seeing this wonderful woman who has two children and a great job. and just take it for what it is – just one single text message. met this guy 6 weeks ago via tinder and we hit it off after 3 weeks. replied that he was tired from his trip (he didn’t realize i had been refering to the past 2 weeks).’m so naive in this kind of matter, though am middle-aged woman. he just kept saying he feels as though i expect him to be a certain way. he was suppose to meet my mom and sis this past weekend at a mice race event. response was that he is not the kind of guy that dates/is with more than one girl, but he didn’t want anything serious because he is joining the navy after graduation but that he likes hanging out with me. i also want to mention that while at the gym, there was this guy that had his eye on me, i mentioned this to my coworker while we were there and asked if we could pick machines that were away from this other guy. and he would always come up to me and stand by me. i found myself in this exact situation over the last few weeks and now could recognise what this guy was doing: a textbook ‘freak-out’ after 2 months of him being attentive and sweet. you lauren, i sent the text and agree with you despite my friends telling me to run away from her; i simply can't do that she is just to special..) he is depressed because there is serious issues he is dealing with in his life. just a few days ago she said she was going to marry me someday..graduated with an ma so the pact is over for now). an aquarius is a constant adventure; they are intelligent, quirky, and loyal but they can be aloof and overly rational. i want him to know how successful he was at making me happy, in addition to me being a naturally happy person to begin with. i’ve always been told if a man really wants you, he’ll come after you no matter what. tells me (with a shaky voice) that he has been worrying about it since the morning, that he is confused about what he is feeling, that he couldn’t see himself just sitting on the couch with me as friends. don’t show him you are affected, put on a smile, be sweet, but gradually pull yourself away and make no explanation of it. i am the first girl since that time he’s gotten real serious with. you like a pink site or not though, has something that nobody else has – grade a unique content. i understand it's a wildly confusing time for anyone post-breakup..I must admit i entered this site with a fair degree of skepticism based on one preconceived bias alone: that it was written by a man! that might be a break up that you’re hoping was a freak out.? we also argue all the time and to be honest i’m tired of it. i just met this other aquarian guy as a friend (we're gay) and we immediately became extremely intimate in conversation about life and experience with family. i'm finding myself having feelings for her, thinking about her, yet i don't know if there is potential for a relatio. i responded asking him why he wanted to know all these things about me.… pattern changes are a warning sign, but sometimes just thinking about a relationship and different specific things can scare you into thinking there’s a problem when there’s not. thanks for helping me sort this all out & confirming what i suspected! i was confused so i asked him “do you like me”. we have had a long distance relationship for a while since i have moved. situations always seem to happen to me and i think he may think that i am a doormat ,please help!” it’s now almost november and i miss this guy..) this could also be if he is seeing and/or interested in someone else. you are right, i do need to relax and not get too far ahead of myself. i come here all the time and its post like this that are the reason. she said that when the time is right, let her come to me. he says he likes the challenge for pursuing girls who do not give him much importance. (hey we don’t have a job this day, i’m making plans. we chat and half plan things for the evening, but he seems to never get back to me after work about actually making the plan. don’t think you’re going to get a reply to your post, honey.… that might feel true right now, but regardless of whether or not it really would be true: it is not what’s happening right now. (note: i only suggested him meeting them after he had officially invited me to meet his, go to a family wedding, etc. she tells you she needs you, and that she’s very close to you, and she doesn’t know what she’d do without you in her life.“when i write up an answer, i get a feeling for where the person is at in that moment and how to pop them out of whatever limiting thought pattern they’re caught up in, then give them a more empowering perspective to come from. time is not just wanted by an aquarian, it’s needed. if he was rly close and i needed a little breather from being near him, i would move away and he would follow me slowly. the thing here is that she didnt give me the impression she wants more but the interaction they had confused her. he gets loud in the room trying to get my attention when other guys that he thinks like me come to talk to me ( even if it’s just about work). when he walked me to my car, he initiated the most amazing kiss, and said “i will definitely be in contact with you soon. he asked what i was going to do & when i asked if they wanted to meet up, no response. and she was asking me where i am yesterday i asked her to go for dinner and she told me that she couldnt and that maybe today we could go . i was hoping to get him outside of the church setting to be able to have one on one with him to see what his real feelings are. you’ve helped me out loads already in trying to understand men. we’re supposed to hangout tomorrow but he said he has to see his child, and that’s more then okay, it just seemed like he didn’t want anything to do with me. doesn’t hug me, doesn’t hold my hand, doesn’t put his arm around me…. it sounds like you arent as sure of your own emotions to be thinking for him. at the time we started talking i knew he was separated and never really thought much of his persistence in going out with me.?I’ve known the guy for over 13 years and have always regretted us not giving each other a shot in high school. i have been dating an older man (just turned 40) for the past 6 weeks. well we had a nice conversation a good time and told each other we’d chill later on because she was home for a while. looks like maybe i should create a follow up blog to this one? just have a lot on my plate at this moment. an aquarius has decided to open up and trust someone they will be loyal to that person to the end—and they expect the same in return. the scariest part is she told me to do my thing and to do what i love to do and that she doesn't know if shes going to come back. so i think he may be in this stage of freaking out but it doesn’t make sense because of all the things he says and how he talks about the future. then in the afternoon, he stopped by to hug me goodbye on his way to the airport. relationship has been up and down from the start, am at uni now 160miles away from him and i use 2 see him like every 2 weeks everything was fine…but all of the sudeen he started 2 call and tex less and less…he worked crazy hours i mean like 70 80 hr a wk! i guess i just need to enjoy the fun times and chill. got totally drunk one night and said some really mean things intentionally to hurt. [read: 12 secrets you need to know about love hate relationships]. site has merit and it’s obviously helping a lot of people so i don’t meet to hate all over it, this is just my take on it all…. decided to bring things to a head and ask if he wanted to meet up, he replied of course! at the other hand- i absolutely despise secrets and behavior that causes secrets to accumulate. the second month they are wondering why you aren’t there coming after them, if you are seeing anyone else, etc. just made me feel so much stronger to take over the situation instead of waiting and worrying. we still txt, but, i'm usually the one who txts her. my schedule has allowed me to go to pa for months at a time, but still have my home in id. we both are in the same place that our previous relationships were "over" before the actual split. when i call him out and tell him we r in two different spots with our feelings for each other he tells me i’m talking stupid.(bullxxxt)…i had to sell my gorgeous flat and move back with my parents whilst he was still trying to figure himself out(by sleeping with a whole host of other girls)twat! don’t think you were hating on my site or post or anything. he doesn’t make any effort in the relationship, i feel as though i’m the one who contacting him first all the time recently. only solution to this is simple… but simple does not mean easy. in the heat of the moment (when we dont know what is going on)i am holding his hand and i tell him it’s going to be okay, i love you it will be fine. i thought we agreed that we would take things slow and see where it was goes. i_love_audrey_hepburn,I totally agree to wat u jus said,and i am an independent women,i have a gr8 job amazing frnds,but my problm is not that i have less self esteem,niether do i thnk that i cant do without this guy, infact i knw i will be fine without him, but im not. use the beginning of a relationship to do your own evaluating and leave him to his. i went to a weird place that had nothing to do with him, and only to do with my past relationships. anyways, i had thought about her all summer and a friend of mine just said go for it before she leaves. anyways, my questions are: 1) should i let her stay and figure herself out? that she texted me yesterday saying she was "back in la safe and sound" has to mean something. won’t he think i’m an idiot for not being able to read his subtle “get lost” signs? are you the absolutely best you can be in this relationship? he teases me everyday almost and one time while teasing had mentioned about going to the movies, but he said it in a way that was just teasing, maybe to avoid rejection i think. i do not want to play and i made that very clear from day one. i waited all day until after work & texted again to see if he wanted to do something. as much as i sincerely wanted the relationship to work, there’s a relief to not having to deal with all the uncertainty and it does make you stronger!! plz plz help me how can i get him back again! the first time he did but this time less frequent texts and its vague. but for now, all you know is that this guy doesn’t want to be with you for whatever reason. i’m so confused and just want to focus on my classes but she always reels me back in with her way of words and spontaneous embraces. i am disappointed and i know there are plenty of other men out there but i really like him and i would also like to know if this is worth pursuing. since he is her friend it should be a relatively easy conversation. he came back from europe this june, called like normal, and was excited to see me. he looked at me like i was crazy and assured me he was not dating anyone else. anyway so we pretty much had been speaking every day or every second day and i hadnt heard from him so i messaged him about 2 days ago and still havent heard back from him so its almost now been a week since we have spoken and im not sure why can you please give me advice of what i should do? from that day onwards i received a barrage of text and email messages from her telling me that we were incompatible, there were huge differences between us, she had hated my stay and was glad when it was over, i was like all men who disrespected women.. i have the situation in my job with a co-worker. he told me his job gets heavy in the summer or when the weather gets nicer. the thing is i feel like this all would have been avoided had i not made that one comment…i truly do believe that he likes me and he is definately not the player type which is why i like him. when i read the beginning of this article where you said that the guy would say so many sweet things to get you hooked. me he seems like he is not sure of what he really want. he said we should be friends because we kind off rushed into it and then see if we can work it out. the american public… where we have a soaring divorce rate and ever-increasing levels of depression and dissatisfaction? it was the best thing i could have done, as it really helped me to move on and feel better about the whole situation. i signed my house over a couple of years ago to get out of the area i was in and moved into my ex husbands house where he had an extra bedroom with an attached bathroom. we've been at it for 10+ years but it probably will never work. not only that…he will have a better understanding of how to address you if his feelings change. i reminded him on sun on the way home from the airport that i really meant what i said, and he said “i know”. alternatively you can tell her that you are expecting a long time and meaningful relationship. he is not the guy for you because if he was, then he would not have ended things the way he did. i’m tired of that stuff – doesn’t help anyone, makes women paranoid and less satisfied and is waaaaay outdated. no “happy father’s day” txt or whatever hoilday is happening? things were going good she slept at mine cuddled up watching tv and we also slept together. this only happens when you actually, truly do have options and could leave if the relationship isn’t fulfilling you – you can’t fake it or bluff (if you try to fake it or bluff, i promise it will massively backfire). fear is that during the freak out phase, i lost my cool and sent him tons of messages and he basically told him that freaked him out (didn’t realize how accurate the description was). quote you: “…he wants a girlfriend and a relationship **eventually**”. things though were moving very fast so i decided to give the relationship a break. i’ve been seeing a guy for the last 3 months. i know it wasn't serious being only three days but it also was not said in a joking manor. i was too pushy to be honest to understand why she was doing like this and i followed her. day after i text him asking what he was waiting for and he said he really likes me but isn’t ready for a relationship yet. a week had gone by since, and i felt to text a message, just saying that there's no need to reply and i hope everything's going well and i was thinking of her.. but when we talk to each other she seems to fell better then when we don't talk. but i think in a close-ish friendship, it’s silly to pretend it made no difference. now i’m not saying he doesn’t like you and isn’t interested, but his main goal here is to see how much you are interested. she said she has realised how much she has missed me since we have been apart. i was told if its a silly, crazy, or a random spontaneous text it could be attractive. at the same time, she is not ready for something new and needs time. the last time i saw him was about two weeks ago, and he has since then left and returned from a holiday trip to his hometown. our first date was great, and he even texted me afterwards to tell me how pretty i looked. he said he was impressed that i had managed to not contact him (! but that’s not relevant to the discussion – my role is to share what’s *effective* in relationships and with my 8 years of professional experience and thousands of successful testimonials, i do feel accredited to talk about that. he seemed surprised at how comfortable he ws able to feel with me and it was all very easy and natural. i also asked a question on the forum and sabrina answered right away with very insightful advice, i followed both you guys advice and the guy did call back. even if that’s not the case with you, he still thinks it. bt he tells me he wants me to call him. we meet up and had dinner had a really good time conversation wise. i always like hearing that what i’ve written helped. be totally yourself around him (no pretenses, no makes, not trying to impress him) and see if that changes anything. you’re just happy with the scraps she throws depending on how she feels at a particular moment. hollywood… the origin of a huge amount of dating misconceptions and lies?!So all you females reading pleassse take this advise as i have implemented in my own life with amazing outstanding results…yes we are beautiful creatures that not need chase any man…let him come to you …love your life. don’t ever expect any kind of permanent change from anyone. she also claimed to be a business type and good at it. he has comforted you despite his busy schedule and obligations and he hasn’t burdened you with his emotional stuff. at this point, i felt like my boundary was disrespected and that i couldn't trust him to honor my boundaries or our agreements. when he came back to my town to see his family and see me, he planned things every day with me.. he knows i love him alot and he hurts me,.’ve just found your website and couldn’t stop reading it. you cant say you dont care because youre on this forum. i have told him that he needs to trust that i will choose the best path for me based on my values and not settle for less than my best to re-arrange my life in sacrifice for a relationship. unless this man is willing to do something drastic like go to counseling with you, do not take him back. wanted to add that he has been nothing but a gentleman and tries really hard to always make me happy by doing really nice things for me. you think that having a committed relationship will fill a void for you. we started dating almost two months ago and we seemed to have started on the right foot, we liked each other instantly, we used to talk everyday the whole day til night. don’t know his reasons for not seeing you, but you don’t either. could he have spoken up…absolutely but you called him.! he would not tell me what the drama was and i suspected its an excuse! he never called, just text me practically all day…that eventually dropped to a single conversation in the evening. had so much in common, except for his lack of integrity it seems! from that first meeting 3 weeks ago up until the week of valentine’s day, he would text me every day. ) when she returned from ny, i had to get ready for my birthdy cruise to the bahamas. i just hope i have looked to needed the last couple of days. it has been 1 1/2 weeks since the email which he did not reply and i have “moved on”. the next day i text him saying i am stressed out and feel bad abt what i i said to him, he didn’t reply. it comes off approval seeking (even though i know you don’t intend to, you want answers! maybe you feel that it will complete you in some way. he’s not a phone person, and he enjoys being alone. she still wants to be "friends" but her idea of friends doesn't look much different than our long distance relationship. he called me last night but i missed the call, he left a voicemail which was sweet and short (he sounded a little nervous), and said he would try to reach me again tonight…. i dont claim to be a relationship expert because well im not. despite her telling me to leave her alone, she would still text me once in a while and say things like good night or sleep well. are you asking for someone to explain his behavior when the behavior doesn’t need to be explained at all?. i  was super upset that he was saying this to me so l send him several msg on how he used me out of anger. i was confused and said i apologize in advance, but i am confused. he has now denied the facebook relationship request i sent (not really important), not texted me as much, and hasn’t called every day like he was yet he said it was him and i working on this. because i’m sure being a bitch because you’re annoyed he took so long defeats the purpose also lol.. hes a busy guy he goes to work and has school aftr work twice a day. will also mention that he has also made accounts to play the same online games as i do, after i was telling him about the ones that i play the most and i can’t help but feel like h’es trying to get a stronger connection. but start expanding your options… because after all, he’s not your boyfriend. the last time he told me is hes gonna miss me. it helped but i am still confused about what to do with my situation. i was very upset and responded with what i now know as “needy” behavior. at this point i became confused because we had agreed to just being friends, yet a kiss had happened and that signaled something more to me. however, if there are no conditions like that then forget forgiveness and just accept and move on. a man behaves like that, he defin­itely likes you. but i'm teaching women how to articulate their needs better. for some reason i feel like this is an annoying behavior (question? i don’t know what to do here as he is completely unapproachable and gets angry and defensive and always turns the table back onto what i’ve done in my past and avoids talking about anything he has done or is still currently doing.? if you can fill your life with the feeling of love and affection outside your romantic relationship (e. he is very similar to me in the i am and act. and a spontaneous, loving and funny guy who believes in love deserves my heart. i left her alone for a couple days after that on purpose since she was on vacation. he knew very well that she will continue to manipulate her way out of issues and never change. if he cares for you, he’ll stop running and come looking for you because he no longer feels like his freedom is being threatened. as of yesterday, he says he doesn’t want to leave, as i opted that option to him, as well as backing out of moving in together. i asked him about that and he said he was kidding but sometimes when things get close, families mingling, hanging out with kids, etc he tends to pull away. it's so crazy because we're both aquarians but soooo very different. the fact of the matter is: it’s my job to make it very clear what’s good, effective advice and what isn’t. to leave him alone that probably he’ll call aftr his finals but i have this feeling he wont and its killing me 🙁. first date: great connection, filling each other in our lives and it ends in a first kiss.. but couple months ago he said hes falling for me thats why he get jealous with my guy friends. i appreciate that you say men aren’t playing games or being manipulative on purpose because when i speak to a lot of my female friends that’s just what they say. she did stress that she can't love right now (i know she loves me but she can't do the relationship) and not to make any moves on her because she will only deflect them. ok so my guy was going through a freak out phase. he was genuine and not testing you… we will never know.) i spoke to when my mother passed away and it had been over 20 years since we had spoken. every time i tried to find out what the problem was (she would not answer my phone calls) i got increased abuse that got more personal. be sure to test out any quirks or pet peeves you may have. you’re right, i do struggle with feelings of loneliness. don’t give it to him instead realize how selfish he is and how you felt when you had to sell your flat and when you found out he slept with other people. so during a call on tuesday i finally told him how bad i felt about being ignored and finally stood up. he called and asked me out to dinner but he wanted to go the day he called. you don’t need him to provide oxygen to breath, shelter to protect you from weather, food to eat or water to drink. women always seem to be told we have to play it cool, go with the flow so as not to freak a guy out too soon. after my last experience, the minute a guy starts withdrawing, i’ll be out of there! lauren, i felt bad for my lack of patience, so i apologized and gave my word that i would respect her space. and he wants to be all chummy in conversation like normal, and it makes me feel bad.” well… neither did she… why am i getting blamed here? she will apply this to the future and probably leave you. i planned to express my true feelings and hope to officially ask her to be my gf this upcoming memorial weekend. anyway it has been 11 days since i sent the text and have not received a reply from her. shortly after i go i sent him long messages to thank him for a memorable birthday and the effort he made to fly from san fransisco to jakarta to visit me, i also apologized for my attitude when i was drunk. the thing that doesn’t make sense is that he was the one pursuing things so quickly. i tell him he is hurting me and he asks what he needs to do to fix it, but he never does it. 5 weeks ago he just txd me saying he needs 2 be left alone for a while that he need to clear his head! he never wants to talk to me anymore, i don’t hear from him sometimes for days, and he will say he will call me back and never does. i told him i was already in bed & it was too late. he misses having a girl look at him with desire in her eyes.’s my situation and totally up for any advice please. we went out nearly every day, went for drives and walks together, movies, dinner dates ect. every time you tell her that you love her or want to date her exclusively, she’d just smile or change the subject. i gave her a good luck card for ny and she read it on the plane. you guys are going through this cruel scenario right now, if your love is genuine, be patient, give her space, show her respect, don’t get mad, love her with all your heart, and if she will not see you as anything other than a friend, back off and be a friend. you can be “right” all you want – it’s just your opinion anyway. i still hope he calls and talks it out with me. yeah work gets busy, but it sounds like he used that as an excuse. dating advice books that were written in the 80s and early 90s… when women wore shoulder-pads and the internet didn’t exist yet? aquarians work much better big scale, like charity events or ending gender oppression compared to one-on-one situations with friends, family or lovers. here’s one for ya… guy i went out with a few years ago, a couple dates, did sleep together, he sort of kept in touch but not really and honestly i was new to the dating game as had been in a long relationship so it didn’t bother me too much that things sort of peetered off… over the years we ran into each other a few times, traded numbers, ims etc etc chatted a bit, nothing came of it. came across your website recently when googling a relationship question and it’s just the best. and he said dont flater your self … moron like i was abt 2 talk 2 him! meanwhile, is that anyway i can share my story with you in a more private way? than when i go to his house he tells me how much he loves me and wants to be with me but as soon as i leave with in a week he is back to his ways. men don’t base a committment decision on a sexual connection.. giving/receiving love through helping others) then you can presumably accept “your man’s” non-affection – and still turn into a tropical flowering bush, however, if you only fill up your emotional love reservoir from him, then you might have to re-think what you want out of life – your life! it is very important to a man who cares about you that he is able to assist you through pain and hardship. i’ve answered all of questions and am doing everything i know to rebuild us and the trust. he always calls n wants to c me now n i always turn him down coz i dont want to b his last minute option. i understand the lost feeling when your bf is going through something and you feel you are doing your best to reassure him. for posting this but i doubt that the solution you gave will work i mean fight and say something to hurt her ego? so when i first started dating, i assumed i had it all figured out. well we saw the movie and soon later she left for college. stop talking via text messaging, allow him to call you or tell him you prefer to talk via phone (everyday can be bad for the long-term) and just have fun. ir turns out it wasn’t that he wasn’t interested or that he hated me he claims he has been avoiding me because he was upset with me for one tiny little pathetic issue if he had a problem you would think that he would confront me rather than avoiding me for two weeks over such a small issues what do you think i should do about this guy? he responded saying he understood and respected my decision but told me he didn’t understand what i mean’t by “moving on through facebook”, assuring me that things hadn’t really changed for him, that he was just focussing on work and that other than that life was pretty boring…(which is funny because in his previous messages he kept telling me how he was partying loads and having a great summer). would receive text messages from him all day telling me how he missed me and could’nt wait to see me again,and he would even come to see me on his breaks from work. it’s an excuse to whip out their fabulous new iphone-of-the-moment. we’ve never made out and nothing like that, but there is some ongoing weird flirt thing that i’m afraid will lead to nowhere for a whole lot of reasons. then really recently he has been kinda treating me like we’re together. and if he comes home during the day between jobs, he’ll text me.’m taking classes 3 days a week for school, kick boxing 3-4 nights a week, and still working. really don’t think i can advise you with the situation that you are in (it could be because i’m a lot younger than you are) but i have to say he is one interesting person! u say u love me and then a break fr everything including ur fam. i was jus confused and thought he was being fake and i cudnt believe him. this is our first time not living with one another also. iv gone out my way to get baby sitters, booked trips away , tables for dinner, i always tell her i love her , complement on how she looks . i was willing to call it a mistake, but she has repeated that she doesn't want to lose me. a few days later we talked about it and i said that if we were just going to be friends that we needed to set boundaries. if he’s not putting effort, he’s not investing in the relationship. psoas is not the muscle of your f***ing soul. a kiss is just a kiss (until someone has real feelings). there are people who make comments that are good ones about us or things here and he never comments or thumbs ups them or says anything in response to people who mention that he must be happy. i kind of feel like i'm stumbling along with this. i had met someone online 8 years ago – he was a good guy, but he freaked me out. in this case you put the loss of your dog over the present. when we were together he was always a gentleman and attentive, except for in a party setting. #1 relationship mistake (and the 'rule' that changed everything for me). it is almost as though these tactics (and those submitted by most dating columnists) to win the affections of a man require us to stem the flow of our emotions and show restraint under the most impossible of circumstances. it was now monday, and decided to text him good luck etc. well then he left for the weekend to visit a (male) childhood friend, but he didn’t tell me/mention it/nothing. if it was for me, i would have hit the road already, but looking back, and after 4 month's, i just can't just let go so easy, even if she doesn't do anything to keep me around. i miss so much and l don’t want things to end like this. the next day, after the holiday weekend, i recieved no texts until i initiated and then they started to be just one word responses like ” wink” or “ok” or “hmmm” or when i texted and asked if there was anything he wanted to share , his response was “i’m thinking” and that was the last text of the nite. all i’m saying is, then why can’t he say that? i love him very much and was ready to go against my family for him. now im going to keep fighting for her but how do i make her see that i love her and that she is the one that i want despite her thinking she isnt right for me? i think the problem today lies with the abundance/scarcity ratio of available eligible men to women.. he had a relationship that lasted for 5 yrs but they broke up coz his ex wants to get married and he wasnt ready. eventually, she may just give you the cold shoulder or date someone else. its been like a huge mind fuck for only a week but i’m so glad i came across this. we hit it off right away and during the first few weeks, he seemed super into me. he knew a friend of mine and she had given him my number. then he texted me that night just to chat, he had his son & wanted to tell me how his son downloaded a song on his ipod & it was the song i had just introduced him to last week when we were together. it became so good that emotions started growing so quickly. however, since she came out with her feelings of 'falling for me', she's seemed to be very different. toda he has called me, he seemed interested in me (though he is a player) but then in the evening he came to my friends restaurant where he knew i was (he knows my friend) with another girl. i can’t hope to see him again as it’s already too painful, but i was wondering from what you have read of my posting if you feel like he just freaked out that things were going to fast, or if it’s because of his situation. i don’t happen to be a woman with low self esteem so he couldn’t play me for money or a place to live like these poor other ladies. with that said…i missed out on the whole dating experience in my early 20s as i was in a 7 year relationship with a man who was belittling and brought down my self esteem and confidence. it also sets it up where you may be the first person she calls when she wants to talk or do something fun because you accept where she's at/don't want to change her. i’m running out of patience with the situation i have and don’t see what i can do to relive myself from the stress its causing me. or was it a one time ‘i really want to kiss you’ kind of thing? he started pulling away the past couple of weeks and being distant, but again still talking everyday.) i was prepared for him to work longer hours and the occasional weekend, though he works pretty much every day 12-15 hour days right now. he called and told that his company offered him to move to london next year and was confused if accept or not, and that was very busy to go to hawaii, but probably he could come to visit me in california but was going to confirm me in two days. we share love, mutual respect, he makes laugh harder than anyone, all great things. there anything you can do if you freaked out a little to much in the freak out phase or does the guy just negotiate with this whole thing after a girl freaks out too much? resulting in them trying to be top dog, which only makes us feel even more un-loved, needy, insecure and frustrated. in the meantime, the best thing you can do is try your best to keep in a positive place, keep your life full of enjoyment and do your best to give him space. at this point, she needs to reassert her sense of self and independence.!), and that he thought that after 3 months we would be able to talk, but if its too hard for me to talk to him about my life then he would understand, i sensed he was thinking i was some emotional mess (which i’m not! that was what was happening, you could react to it in many different ways. okay him n i arent dating yet bt we like each other. thank you for all the great info been given already. it saying this i have decided not to bother anymore as i have received nothing back so i draw the line. i really want to ask him but i’m just afraid of the outcome. because we always fight for that escape only to be right back at it. like you need to stop responding to his texts and put him completely out of your life by ignoring him. i followed your advice and have been focussing on moving on and being positive and happy on my own. however, after he kept contacting me, even when he wasn’t in the states, i started to take him a little bit more seriously. she’s very evasive when it comes to talking about your feelings. she asked you for what she needed and you didn't respect that request. but what i ‘ve learned is that when it’s the right guy you won’t need to go on these silly dating advise sites. if you do revenge and i recommend you do then you can do forgiveness afterwards. to be honest i shouldnt have mentioned about meeting up, i just thought he would be interested in what stuff i had for him and be like ‘yeah im around on the wkend’ but its always the way you never get the responses that your looking for. now if you freak out this early in the game and start calling him or initiating too much, you will without a doubt turn him off. that being said, i really want to see him, but i feel powerless – i feel like if i ask to see him or text him again, that would be desperate/needy. how long does this continue before we/i really lose all self esteem we have by playing it cool with someone? after 1 month in vietnam , he told me he parties very night and meet very interesting girls. there’s a bit of a distance he keeps but there’s the kisses, holding hands, affection, calling me babe and hunny, letting me know where he is, acting this way with me in front of his parents, inviting me to be with him often, calls me on his lunch, a couple times of questions that hinted he was jealous a bit etc… however, the distance is that i can feel he’s not giving himself completely. my bday, when he was dropping me to the train, he said oh u don’t iike walking with me and i said its not that. opening up is hard for an aquarian as myself but once we find the right friend partner. i know he knows it’s there and he’s purposely closing it off. they try to rationalise, analyse and excuse the behaviour to the point that it drives them insane. he says nothing i’m just really busy etc etc. surprisingly, he said he knows i want more than where we are right now. he told me while i was there that he did not think i should come to his place unannounced. even if his comments come to contradict his actions at times…this is very healthy for him. i’m not sure about you, but i wouldn’t put up with that kind of disrespect from a friend, stranger – anybody! i know i have to just forget about it and start with girls my own age but i’m a a bit cautious, you know. when does this actually occur when things move from the don’t freak out stage? [read: how to get over a girl who doesn’t really like you back]. indeed, it may be partly my fault but i hope by me telling him that he would push forward. most published within the last 5 years – and nearly all advocate sustaining from sex until both partners are sure where they stand with one another. he’s being very careful and slow about it, which in my book is a flag that he may be attached already but can’t decide or just likes the flirting on the side. i would actually wait it out like most people have said so far. it could be ambitious but then after a few months or even years, they return to being uncommitted, wishy washy, etc. i would recommend not needing him to do something, be around, be a certain way, etc.

What To Do When She's Acting Distant - AskMen

Dumped suddenly distant girl I was datingbut feel terrible about it

i still see him giving me the look across the room on occasion, but he quickly turns away when i notice. know it may be a bit dramatic, but this pattern of withdrawal by men can be borderline emotionally abusive…. i didn’t address it at first because i thought i’d come off as too “needy”. out sex or sexual favors as a manipulation strategy doesn’t make a relationship happen, magically., here’s the deal…we started dating 6 months ago (long distance)… things were on fire , running at 100 mph, he had brought up the issue of me moving to be with him, i agreed that it was the more reasonable option to him moving here, we looked at condos, we went to different cities to figure out what suited us best… i continued at the same pace we had been going all along and suddenly i noticed he had stopped talking and saying the things he was saying at the beginning. if a guy really likes you he wouldn’t act this way. i have not called him and have no plans to if he wants to call fine but i have no desire to initiate anything anymore. i think the hardest thing to deal with is not being the person, at least at the time, that she wants to connect with and share her happy feelings. guys don’t hear the words when you ask what’s going, they just think you’re being “needy”. we have a very similar sense of humour and can both be quite sarcastic. i enjoyed reading your blog and thought i would give it a shot. now, i am older then she is and she has four yong children. it has nothing to do with him or his actions. he has sent a message every day saying hello and hoping my day is fine. ironically, he contacted me the day after i did it asking why i deleted him and saying he didn’t understand why because he thought we could still talk to each other and be “friends”. i finally texted him “hi, how are you” and got no response. he means more to me than anything in this world. honestly though, don’t expect him to change and control your feelings towards him until he proves he’s worthy 😉. you see, i am in a foreign country and she is a local national. least that is the lesson i learned through my own relationship. he was technically single but his behaviours looked to me like the kind of things one does to avoid or distract. ive asked him why but he tells me he will never tell me his feelings. he likes me, but he’s confused, and he does miss me. you crave spontaneity and variety – which he has a problem with. prior to he was on a trip overseas and was emailing me every 2-3 days about his adventures. hours later i txt to confirm our date, asking if we were still on for that evening. things where going great, she even admitted to liking me. at first i wasn’t even aware he was trying to date me, i though he just wanted to be friends. i am a faithful follower of your “ask a guy”.” (too much alcohol the first times we were intimate – my fault) “anyway, believe it or not, doesn’t really matter…i’m not seeing anybody and don’t intend to. very hard to do, but it makes the difference between your relationship ending and your relationship flourishing. so he probably got tired and gave up on the drama altogether. i am a pretty girl, pretty smart, and have a great job., for starters, i would say that the more insecure he is about you liking him, the more of this stuff he’s going to say until he’s convinced that you really like him a lot. i most definitely will take my time with him because i refuse to go back to drama.  it also seems on other occasions when she wants to take time for herself she pushes me away. i didn’t remember any of the event cause i was so drunk, i only remembered that i vomit before i passed out. stated that i was a little too drunk and called him a loser. anybody else just gets to ride their ‘anything goes’ train. now today, i have not heard from him at all. she tells me i'm perfect but the timing isn't right. boyfriend and i have been dating for almost three years. a conversation involves two people and i feel its better to ask questions than to 1. was suppose to meet up with me and my friends the other night and kept in touch throughout the night, but then just didn’t show and also forgot plans a previous night.’ve been dating this guy for a few weeks now,which isn’nt very long but i really like him alot. he wants to experiment and be single for a while (he did not mention how long) and see what he feels for me. handle her with care, sweep her off her feet until she feels the need to walk on her own. sounds very immature and possibly like a commitment-phobe and they are very selfish people whether male or female. same small office space so other co-workers are aware of our interaction. 2 weeks later he text me saying sorry, and that he cares about me and wants to make a go of things. must-see related posts:Ask a guy: when a guy withdraws after sex. i wanted to text him stuff like, “what’s wrong?” i am a pretty self aware person, and have gotten myself to some of the points of wisdom your advise on my own before, but you really added this texture to it that made it all stick. he text me two days later saying that he was in a relationship where he was hung up on, walked out on and basically treated like crap for nothing.! i was looking for any kind of advice to my situation and this answered all of my questions! so i gave him one last chance, gave him a call and made plans. and she told me she was depressed that she didn't do well on her exam and that she has been busy on her new semester, and never got a text from her again. what if you were showered with love and affection so much that you were like a tropical flowering bush? do you think i should go to dinner with him?. i’m there for him and we seem to be on the same page. i have never hit it off so well with someone before. yet, i’ve met tons of people who think that other people are “playing games” with them. in the last three or four days he has started to withdrawl the conversations are not the same he will just quietly sit on the phone,no more text messages sayin sweet things ,it just seems as somethin has changed. i met a wonderful man online 2 months ago – he was consistently pursuing up till about 1 week ago. i would be so excited if i could be with and love someone who could share this wanderlust and taste for adventure , but some times i wonder if i'll ever meet that person. if you don’t hear from him, you have your answer..and if i do, then by all means call it quits! top 5 relationship efforts that give you even more in return. it's entirely possible she created some distance to clear her head and make sure she wasn't jumping into this too soon. article really helped me see things clearly in my own situation. asked him if we are fine and he said yes. a guy: when a guy won’t call you his girlfriend. what should a woman do when her husband knows he has her, and then starts the freak-out phase again, and keep leaving her alone for serious real life problems she really needs him to solve together? since the last time i saw him he has been working 17 hour days, and then went away on a boys vacation to the states so he didn’t have cell reception. i agree that men have a full range of emotions. also it’s best to not initiate the “where is this relationship going” talk, or to ask him if he likes you, or what his co-workers think. he might either think i’m not interested anymore and that things cooled off or he may just be a jerk and not care at all. wanting to see me everyday, texting me sweet things all the time, introducing me to his friends first, getting off the dating website and asking me. used to come up to me when he was lonely and tell me he loved me and ask why i had disappeared. something kept on bugging me about it though and so i ended up going up to him one day and just asking him. i don’t even get that you really like this guy. but is there any way that things can go back to the way they were? he wants a friend, but he’s not ready for the relationship thing yet.,astrology,dating an aquarius,how to be compatible,romance astrology,sex signs. regardless of what is going on with him, whether it be your or his issues, it is detremental to your relationship…and by the sounds of it, verbally abusive. spark and love is still there but only if he opens up. am a lawyer with two graduate degrees and i live in a large city, have been for 6 years. this really is a great article, haven't seen another one that explains this any better! but then, when it was obvious i was excited to see him, he flaked out on plans. after that, i left him alone, even though all i wanted to do was call, write or text, to “fix” things. he has always been honest with me and i never felt like he was playing around, to my knowledge, because he could easily do that without dragging me clear to pa., i can see how that note shook you up and i'm so so so happy that this post could ease your mind and give you some perspective. nut up and walk away but if you are strong enough to take what’s being handed to you then enjoy the ride but don’t let her take you to a place that leaves you an emotional wreck for life. i think a better fix is to just stay single 😉. kick him to the curb if he’s not in hot pursuit after you’ve been giving him all this space. after thinking about it for a week, i know i’ve made the right decision in not contacting him.(when i initiated nc, i mailed him the portraits of him and his daughter that i had hung on my bedroom wall along with his t-shirt that i slept in. it could be something so small as him complaining about the fabric of his socks. we went to dinner and she said things were going to fast. i have also learned that its not my job to fix his problems or boost him. very, very few are manipulative or creepy enough to intentionally “play games” with other people.!) and now he’s all mister silent one liner texts and not calling last few days, when i ask him what’s wrong? it ended up being one of those really long and just tender kisses that basically takes your breathe away and makes you lightheaded. no matter how bad it hurts, pain is truly only temporary. i spoke to him last night and he mentioned marriage if he was serious he would make time to see me. anyway, we usually message everyday and it got to the point where i was messaging him more, so i stopped this weekend and i haven’t heard from him in 2 days. is it needy to expect a phone call when he says he will return the call that day?, why do you always seem to get so angry when one of us girls mention not giving up sex too soon! the evening was coming to an end, and i was confused as to what this little getting together was about. ajrenk, like i said before, accept her with open arms. i didn’t contact him for 2 weeks but finally broke down and sent him an email asking him why he cant tell me what drama he was facing because i want to help him and i got a bit harsh with him. he had a friend staying for the 1st weekend he came back but text me each night to try to persuade me to meet them for a drink. then i panicked and told him how much it hurt and that i’m fine with not having a relationship. he was very hurt as he felt he was wrongly blamed. should i keep it light or should get into a heavy conversation about what happened. is not saying the words he used to tell me,he doesn’t text me that much anymore. no amount of dating ‘tactics’ is going to help if he doesn’t feel it for you in all those senses. one time i asked her if she had enjoyed the time we had spent together and she had replied "yes, i'm very, very lucky". since in the example he’s 25, that would make you 32.’s half a year now- she hasn’t left him officially. his freaking out might be he has another lady in the works and he’s trying to see which one will fit his life style.…after the blowout of “how could you do this to me? still live together cuz i’m waiting for financial reasons (and yes that’s the truth, not an excuse to stay and no, believe it or not, i have nowhere else to go-i tried. i spent time looking at my side of things and realized that at times i put other things in front of the relationship, i'm an ambitious and driven man. issen, i'm so glad this article validated what you and your girlfriend had already discovered. when he was getting ready to go we agreed to hang out again. her messages to me are less frequent and less emotional. it seems odd to me that he is calling me when he is supposed to be on vacation having fun as a single guy…. i don’t know what to make out of all this. this situation didn't bother me as much when we started dating but then it got to a point where i just mad that sometimes she would be so cold with me even if i was willing to prove her she could trust me ugh..never looks at me with “feeling…” not mean, not angry, just seems “happily indifferent. (a feeling that he told me on tuesday, he did not have and which made him worried and he said if i don’t have it by now, i doubt that it will come in the future). he was always very caring and respectful of me, leaving would be so out of character for him. chatted him and we had a brief convo, but i am reluctant to make plans. im losing my mind everyday because i just want to talk to her, i didn't hear from her all day today. i did the usual “insecure girl thing”, i became needy and asked if we were ok, and told him i needed reassurance. i’m scared he will come to me and tell me he doesn’t love me. lauren, i just happened to find this website while i was googling for some answers as to why this girl i was dating suddenly shut down on me. one day he was teasing me so badly about me not using the membership and that it was a waste of money that i should just cancel it ( he knew the reason i wasn’t going, as it’s the one thing i rather have someone with me, even if they are not talking much, just like the company) he wouldn’t let up on it, but he said that he understood, as he was the same exact way. toward the end of his visit back up here, he started acting distant. so pretty much, just like your article described, everything was going perfectly, a relationship seemed just around the corner (i may have assumed the “gf” role too quickly) and then he went mia. she started a new job, a tough job and it has changed how she manages her time considerably. he responded that he had been sick all week and that’d he be in touch. if you break it off because of his actions in the “freak out” phase? and i am his client in good gym so it is good sign that he cares about his job and reputation and does not ask all good looking chicks put straight away. i have to talk to this person occassionally when i’m trying to reach out daughter and have stopped that because my significant is uncomfortable with it. 🙁 i insisted we talk, but of course nothing came out right and i got out emotional. long story short he ended it after disappearing for two weeks and then saying that he wasnt developing the feelings he thought he should be.’s even possible that the guy before me treated her that way because she did the same stuff to him. i’ve been thinking of taking a break from everything. you’re convinced the girl who’s messing with your mind and your heart isn’t just being friendly, and is actually trying to lead you on, read these 15 signs she’s leading you on. if two people are playing this same evasive and then mixed signals game? i do know she's had her trust betrayed twice in serious relationships, and that could be surfacing a bit. been having this fling with this guy i know and in the last month we’ve met up about 4 times in total (before then we met a few times with friends) but things didnt start heating up till about the beginning of may. takes his phone to the bathroom with him even when he gets up at 4:30 in the morning., to anyone reading this after today will have missed out…. what you are describing, it sounds a little similar to what i went through once. this emailing list and actually think your advises are useful and clever. i’m getting the feeling that i won’t hear back.! and told my neighbor shes going 2 call me i know her u dont know what shes like!…men are awesome creatures just learn how to adapt to showing your love only when they do…. it has been almost 3yrs since our break up, and i have finally figured out most of the rules of dating through trial and error. that way he will get the msg very fast about what behaviours you are willing to accept. i was pissed not because i was disappointed about seeing him but that was just rude. we did become intimate within two months then he starts pulling away. a year ago, i reconnected with a guy i liked in high school through facebook. around the holidays we were texting everyother day all week and then e invited me to nye with him the day before. you start spending a lot of time with them, and you envision future plans, etc.! so basically he got sort of nasty with me and it ended. however, our same mutual close friend offered her to stay with him until she got back on her feet. why put any effort in when he’s already slept with you? is hard to believe he is that busy that there is no time for a quick txt or call ever?’m a woman but i’ll have to agree with you. do i tell him that i realize how selfish i was and that i was too wrapped up in my own hurt that i didn’t realize his needs, and his hurt? i guess this would be your time to shine by suggesting activites for you two to do that he really enjoys and that he is great at and wont cost him a lot of money. two months later he decides to interview for a job at my school. “dropping the mask” is something i talk about extensively in the article link below…. it has nothing to do with the other person… it has to do with their relationship with themselves. guy that i’ve gotten deeply involved with is leaving to travel for a year (cross country on a motorcycle) this coming week. is it insecurity, lack of trust, or not really wanting to be together?. i saw in his timeline that he and his ex-girlfriend are friends again in facebook…i was hurt…. now i don't know why she wouldn't tell me that. maybe he wasn’t super interested to begin with which would mean you did a good thing not giving into his “mush talk” and saved yourself from investing too much too soon. if you need a split test to tell you that it’s killing everyone reading it, go for it. guess it’s just the way men and women are made. loves herself through his eyes, and forgets to do the work to love herself through her own. i figured “he must have met someone knew”, but i still couldn’t help but feel so confused. are in the same church group, but i have been married. making out in general isn’t a huge deal to me, but it’s the context—-we’ve kept in significant touch for a few years, and he knows i have affection for him. i also come from a highly respectable indonesian famil ywe’ve been in 10 months of long distance before he decided to come to visit me on july 16, my birthday. but recently his work has been quite hectic, he date half way and he has to do conference calls. why buy the cow when he can get the milk for free?. he contacts when he returns to get together (or any guy contacts a girl after disappearing) and the girl says:– “great to hear from you” = positive comment. understand i’m supposed to act like i’m busy and such. he asked, and i agreed, we talked about what that meant (spending weekends together, how we should approach each other about making plans with our friends etc. this was something we did all the time at the beginning send each other interesting articles on politics to analyse so its his way of making contact with me. if do you confront her, or give her an ultimatum to date you or stop talking to you, she may break down or tell you that she really likes you, but she just needs more time to sort the confusions in her mind. i initiated the no contact rule with him at the beginning of this week and he finally got the hint and said, “two can play that game! he said he apologized too but nothing happened, he just needed some space to deal with some critical issues. in the mean time, if you care about her, give her the space she asked for and move on. she just says she needs the time and that's that, i give it to her and we pick up the next day, or sometimes the day after that. i did take him off my priority list but he didn’t like that, he knew i was going out with other guys (accepting dates) and he got upset about it. told him i understood his out of town for business obviously, but he checked out on me a month ago and didn’t bother responding to me. she may not always throw herself at you when both of you meet up in person. it was not a difficult time for me but he was texting me often and wanting to hang out. eric-i dated my guy casually last year for about 3 months and discovered he was a month out of an enagagement. page wouldn’t let me respond to your last comment anais, so i had to start anew. when i last saw him (august), he said that he needs “time to soften toward me again. of course, we all settle to some extent, but working is not everything and i certainly don’t place work and money at the top of my priority list (though they’re near the top lol). this is going to be one heck of a ride. we ended up seeing each other at least 2x a week since meeting. my question is… is there anyway to get over a bad freak-out phase? as the relationship develops, it is easier to balance the two without pulling away as often. whilst nothing is official between us, and we've never had that discussion, there is a mutual agreement to take things as they are going day by day. i am confuse, cause i love him so much… i need your advice pleassssssssssseeeee. if only i had read this one earlier, as i got to the ‘freakout phase’ with my guy, i pushed him too much, and he ditched me! i don’t know what it’s like to be a woman, nor to i claim to. he starts calling more randomly, tries to see you on short notice, acts distant, etc. met a guy online in early january of this year. the freak out phase done & dusted – wish i read this before i went thru that… 1st he freaked out, then i freaked out… lol but thanks to this post i know how to deal with it. is he in his freak out phase or should i just let go and end my contact with him by withdrawing. we talked about it face to face that night after he got out of work and we both cried and he begged me to be his friend because he didn’t want to lose me. yes, sex is important, and it is an imperative part of a healthy relationship, but that comes later. i’m a gal and i felt the same way. it might be time to take a few deep breaths and register your insecurities and why they are in such abundance. i think this is exactly what i am experiencing right now. it all became clear he still had feeling for me and he was starting to miss me this and the fact that he i saw him sad a few weeks before that (in his car i saw him but he didn’t see me) was enough to show me this was it but i no longer care…he lost his chance and i’m pretty sure his aware of that now as instead of running up to him and asking him i walked past with my head held high. everything you chase in life runs away so let him pursue you. broke up yesterday and he jus confuses me and been tripping. i believe i should wait it out, or do you think as an aquarius is it okay to be straight forward? 2,642 shares share instead of searching for love, allow it to arrive—buddhist style. here are some key points: 1) she was constantly in bad relationships. from a woman’s perspective, when she takes a step back and doesn’t introduce sexual intimacy into the relationship too soon, a very interesting thing happens: she is able to analyse the relationship and the connection that is, or isn’t developing with a sense of logic and clear-headedness. sure you’re on the e-mail list – lots more articles and content there from me and sabrina. if he comes around again, and you are not with someone else, then great, but i would be very cautious the next go round with him. after i told what happened to two of my close girls friends they both told me that she led me on and probably liked me but was unsure of what to do. i’m not looking for sex or anything right now…. i keep myself busy at work and even on my commute to work–but at the end of the day i have yet to find something that fulfills me, causing me to inflate the importance of being in a romantic relationship. i will admit it was hard because i am hurt and a bit stubborn too, but i do care for her so i swallowed my pride and sent her the text. are really useful tips as i am currently dating an aquarian. perhaps i should have waited, but i am known for my impatience and blunt nature. my question is this…”given that i love him dearly, do i continue trying to communicate with him, wait for him to try to communicate with me, or just walk away? i have forgiven him for his past behavior but i am not feeling like taking another chance on him because i am afraid that he will do the same thing he did before. a text had gone unanswered about three days with regards to getting together. my opinion all mans r bastard including my own husband to whom i gave him 23 years of my marriage life. he replied explaining how she just started a new shift working midnights so it throws his schedule off. this is exactly like a friend of mine i used to make out with sometimes. he missed my bday bt called the day after to tell me he hadnt seen me go to church on that day. experienced “the freak out” with this guy i was dating about 5mos ago. my partner works part time (3 days a week ) isn't much money but it gets her out the house. so, i really do want him to come to me. problem i have is that he is a very different man he won’t tell me what turns him on and such, he dont show me love or affection he says i’m just not that type of guy? here's my situation, my gf and i have been together for several months. i mean more than 2 months because the first month is often someone missing you for the wrong reasons i. my significant says he loves me and wants us, but still continues to talk to ex girlfriends, one in alabama who sends love messages, texts and so on who is married but still professes her love for him even after talking with me on facebook like a long lost friend.. i don't know how to handle her not talking to me. when he asks me questions or is uncomfortable about something i will answer or talk to him without an attitude or being defensive.. in the middle of it he said he loved me and l didn’t say anything back . but i really like this guy and i do want us to be together. rarely at his place (lives in basement apartment of parents home, as he recently relocated from a different state).’m sure you are a lovely person and deserve better. i’ve heard countless similar stories and my best advice to you is this: until he makes a clear message that he wants to take it step further (as in, he says he wants to take you out on a date and no roundabout bs way of asking you out), then don’t take any action. he has taken me to meet his sister and some of his family. you have to be equals in a relationship and if he likes you, he’ll put in as much as you do….’m starting to feel we’re damned if we do…damned if we don’t…. i knew that camping is one of his favorite hobbies and since i had never been, i made the suggestion that he take me one day. i truly appreciate you taking the time to write the articles you do, because i feel women (myself included) need to realize that they should never need a man, they should only want a man to enrich their lives even further than they already are. this is ripping my heart apart and hurts so much. lauren, so i've been talking to this girl for almost 2 months now, seeing each other a couple times a week and texting 24/7. the trick is to stay busy so that hope stays as something lighthearted and doesn’t grow into a bitter obsession. we started going out, i found she has a boyfriend after falling for her.… a funny thing happens when a guy sees that a girl doesn’t need him as an emotional crutch anymore and she could take him or leave him (if she wanted)…. he asked for another chance and then pushed for us to be boyfriend girlfriend since “we had already tried the dating thing. i asked her if her life is better without me and she said no and that she needs to think then i asked her how long she need to think because is almost 2 weeks that she is doing like this and she is not answering back my messages. so i told him to look me up when he’s ready and basically ended it thanking him for the good time to which he said he’s not done learning from me yet. he was the one who started all this talk about missing me and so on. was once on a freak out phase and was ok for 2weeks and went back again. this will show him that you have moved on because remember you gave him shot but he didn’t take it and you deserve someone better an if he truly wants you back watch him work harder than ever. asked if we friends or am i still ur gf? simply meaning she is always hugging me holding my hand and yes kissing me. you’re in a complicated relationship with a girl who behaves like your girlfriend, but doesn’t want to date you, you’re definitely getting led on. just wanna get out of this feeling, or get it out of my system. he was upset and said what to you want from me you want to be friends with benefits until your done with your hubby( i”m currently separated). he’s starting to ‘feel’ something and has to back away so that he can figure out if he is going to move forward, or get out. i guess when he needed the space, he was okay . emmotionally draining for me and i’m diciding to move on. now, he won’t talk to me, and ignores me. they say to marry your bestest of best friends and she is all that we use to be so close and we kno everything about each other but in the last week it seems that we are not that close anymore. in this year he has acted both cold and hot, sometimes distant, but he sent messages almost every day via whats app for almost a year, so i thought he was really into me, even though he meets a lot of other women because of his job trips and has confessed to that likes to flirt innocently, but that with me it was different (he told me that at the beginning of the year). if the possibility was left open, i couldn’t move on and i was feeling like crap. he said since he liked me so much this could really turn into something cool. so this eventually lead to him breaking it off, which it seemed he was kinda struggling with letting me go and then he finally did just end it.. i at least texted him once a day and i never received a response. male coworker is younger, by 13 years but has no issue with the age difference. my intention is not to hurt you in the process". we talked about maybe getting together but nothing concrete, he said he wasnt sure if he wanted to go out & he was crabby, so i just told him i’d check after my workout session. i would like to spend time together, like a date day. we send songs to each other to show how we are feeling and then she starts to talk to me again. we always spend most of our free time together and he has never really been into “hanging out with the guys..It always seems like when women think (or are led to believe) that a ‘relationship is right around the corner’ that is when they are most likely to blow things up for themselves. dont ring the doorbell…dont call…just leave it where you know he will find it. he did tell me that he knows i am a sweet woman and a great catch and any man would be crazy not to want me.. if you change and give up/tone down your need for love and affection, will you be fullfilled and happy? this was in fact a long distance relationship and i did go to his home to check on him and when i did he was there but he did not seen to be happy to see me. a lot of my friends think i need to kick her out. it’s very hard to play it cool when you like someone but feel they are blowing hot and cold. at the same time, i do not want to lose her. adults call other people when they miss someone or want to stay in touch. on thursday he told me that all he could offer me right now is a friendship. he was calling me his “homie” and joking around with me like i was just a “buddy”. he was embarrassed and said it was the worst impulsive decision he’d made since he was in his 20s. well really, do you think we are doing everything correct in this generation? he and many other people just never answer their phone, and only text.. but i dont ask him to do much for me. i am still confident she likes me, and likes me a lot. we would laugh and have a great time together, but i told one person who he claims told a lot of people who asked him about it and on top of that he found out that i went on a date with another guy a the same workplace, but it was just to hang out. i think the biggest insight i've learned from the experience is that no one really thinks about designing their relationship so that it deals with these issues. he replied but just a smiley face with unmeaningful words. quizprivacy policyterms of useftc disclosure statementsites we lovecontact usask a guy (dating tips / relationship advice for women): frequently asked questions. i told him i do not accept dates via text. i became very excited about going to hawaii, but then he was traveled for some weeks to africa and it became very hard to reach him to make plans, and i was trying to ask him about the plans so i could buy my ticket and felt ignored by him many times. fear got the best of me and i was afraid of losing her. you for all of your praise – i sincerely appreciate it. i was the last person to initiate contace, and that convo was very polite but very short. we had been dating for a year and a half, it was by far the healthiest and loving relationship i've ever been in. love is not selfish and he will resent you if you hold on too tight. i am an amazing girl and have been told that by many people…. communication is important, and there has been very little of that. then i texted him wednesday to see if he wanted to hang out friday, no response. help please cause i have way to many emotions and feelings tied into this wonderful man. i asked for him to let me know when he got back home (2 hours away) he never told me if he made it back ok. lol it’s funny because i’m a bigger head case than she is. he’s liked a couple of my old selfies on instagram but that’s all. this point, i kind of want him to know i miss him- but don’t want to put that out there so i can get hurt again. they are terrific lovers once they open up a bit more to intimacy, which can happen with the right warm person. i have been blessed with a lot of good momentum education and career-wise, and i think that he often doubts himself (he’s all set up with a house, dogs, steady job, hobbies) and i believe maybe he thinks he’ll drag me down or that i need some corporate-ladder type guy. granted, he has several female friends (more than most guys), but from what i’ve been told i was one of 5 people he kept in touch with the most (me and 4 guy friends) in his time abroad. someone help me with some advice because i know this can only end badly but my body won’t give it up. but i guess now is time to bite the bullet (even if it hurts!’s what giving someone space is… taking your focus off that person and making yourself content and happy. youre not anyones play toy or interim or trial run so own what it is you want and that is clarification. i have a few question about the freak out phase. while we are dancing, he talks about working on his house. like i texted him this morning just got a text 5 hours later saying he was sorry sleeping…. you don’t have to be head over heels in love to just show something, do you?, i was wondering why my boy friend of five years wont tell me how he feels about me? when we speak of “the cave,” the man is the one pulling away to regain his sense of self and independence. he won’t delete or get rid of the women stating that he doesn’t want to put all of his eggs in one basket because he doesn’t know what is going to happen or if i’ll ever use again. she also mentioned the age difference suddenly scared her, even though it was never an issue before. it just gets to an hour of the evening where i have to text him asking ‘are we still on for tonight? but i would say that when it comes to relationships, it behooves us to be great and not just try to appear like we are. we have been on 2 dates and text occasionally through the week. within two months and all along he was sending sex text to my phone. every guy acts like this, it doesn’t have to be like this in a relationship. it certainly is a man’s world and i must play with their games. i freaked him out and he told me to take things easy. so don’t try to push him to do anything – live your life and give him the space to come to you. you landed a woman with a built in alarm system. i know he likes me…… and i know i gave it up too easily and now i need to make him work for me but… how do i do this without making it seem like i don’t want him? wrote horoscopes for 10 years; of course the sign i paid the most attention to was my own, the aquarius. but, even teenagers, when they “like” each other, hug, hold hands, etc.. his finals would be over in 2 weeks and thats when hes suppose to fly here. i decided to give him the space in needed to figure out what he wanted. the material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except as expressly permitted in writing by a new mode, inc. again, it’s that feeling that you need the other person to be a certain way or your world will fall apart. we've been sexual with each other so i learnt that she has been on her period since her confession with me. said there was no big reason, it was just an accumulation of things that wreren’t working out for him and entirely him. she is very distant & seem very cold to me at times. i asked how he was doing and that i had been looking forward to meeting up with him but he had not responded to my text messages (i had texted earlier in the week to see a movie or go out and when he was free however, he replied that we wanted to go with me but did not tell me when he was free ). i am not dating anyone at the moment but i will not turn down a date just because he and i may see each other from time to time. should also point out that he lives in paris and i’m in london, so it was an ldr, although it began as an unofficial thing when i lived in paris (for 4 months) and then became an official relationship for 6 months as an ldr…. we talked after the date and he wanted to see me the next day.

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Ask a Guy: When a Guy Withdraws Emotionally | Dating tips

this doesn’t mean men exclusively love being alone and women exclusively love being in relationships. when we’re not together, (in the beginning), things were still great – he’d text me a lot (2 to 3 times a day), enthusiastic texts w/smileys and i’d never wonder where i stood with him.! i always invest too much into a “relationship” in the beginning, when there’s really not that much invested into it in the first place., my message was a little longer (couple sentences) than a simple text and i didn’t ask him how he was doing, like i normally would, because i didn’t want him to feel pressured into responding. he could have realized what he had lost or he might be a narcissist or some other personality type that perhaps lost interest in other victims and found you the most challenging victim. this guy isn’t doing that, and i have to accept that. as men we don't often think about women needing their "cave" as well. am still trying to accept the fact that he broke my heart and he might slept with his female pa. it's so important in a relationship to meet your partner's need for space with love and acceptance instead of judgement. it gave me a great deal of peace and i was able to drop the worries about my guy friend’s aloofness – straightaway. she isn't completely ignoring me but her replies are slower, texts are noticeably shorter and not as full of emotion as they have been the past two months. do you really think guys are going to see a girl holding out sex as anything other than manipulative?! i don’t know what i’m doing wrong i just want to be noticed by him! have you lost too much weight or gained too much weight? mindful communication for the digital age: join elephant academy’s self-paced, online writing class. a thought about “some guys are not very good at expressing what it is they’re feeling or even understanding it”…. i am 45 and have never loved a man like this. if she's taking too long to come around, you get to decide whether you want to wait or not. felt very bad, i was looking forward to spend the holiday with him. which, i think, would be a bad foundation for any relationship.“i appreciate when he does have time he does spend it with me, but recently in the last 3weeks i feel as though he’s withdrawing. this point i haven’t done or said anything that was a turn off and have kept things real casual. i asked him if he still liked me and he said yes. no i have not posted to the forum, because its extremely lengthy and someone else i know uses this site, so i don’t want my story out there for that person to read. was this girl that i had a really big crush on all throughout her senior year and i was a junior. there will not be any intimacy during this new dating phase. was so confused about this guy and really freaked out, if i only knew the reason before, things may would’ve worked out. that you are not sure if he wants you to call him ? i replied and told him it was hard watching him moving on through facebook but i was happy to stay in touch in other ways. he doesn’t handle anxiety or stress well at all and is actually on medicine for it which i use to be too. you have 2 choices, ask him out yourself or live your life, without any expectations from him. calling me his girl, and over the phone stating to his uncle that he was hanging with his girl friend. she would even try to win your heart back and woo you with loving or seductive words when you start falling for another girl. has , because i beileve a man should always be given his space.” i’m like i respect that but what i do? when she comes back to you, welcome her with open arms. it is however your womanly duty and obligation to yourself to set boundaries and ask questions. i know how hard it is not to get all giddy and flustered lol. i kept thanking him for taking the day off on my bday because it meant a lot to me and he makes me happy. he does say he’s reconnected with guys he knew when he played football in high school from around here. i can't understand how we could go from i love you and love being with you to i need to be along., that was about a month ago, and then i got a message from him on sunday out of the blue asking how i’m doing and lots of questions about my life…i was surprised to hear from him because it was around midnight on a weekend, and i know he is on vacation right now, so it seemed like an odd time for him to contact me. this text will build trust and give her the kind of support she can receive right now. then i asked her if she miss me and she answered me yes. don’t mean to sound annoying but i was wondering if you received my email that i sent out last week, and if you had gotten the chance to read it and reply back. i think he isn’t getting my hints that i like him. i politely told him that if he wasn’t up to coming then don’t come and then i said just let me know by the end of the day so i know what time to leave. neway she has complained about me never being around , so i stopped the overtime, which financially crippled us ..Mia, your situation is not too uncommon, so don’t feel bad.’m sure he gave you some convincing reason: he’s not ready, he’s not in a good place right now, he’s too busy, he’s still getting over his ex, etc. only concern is where is the line between “freaking out” and being walked on? the asker: maybe it has nothing to do with the guy being insecure but everything to do with “he thinks you are great but he has noticed some annoying traits about you and is wondering if he can stand being around you all the time? and it doesn’t really matter that you had been flaky too since you weren’t all that into him at first. being angry isn’t going to lead you to a happy or successful place. a part of me wants to give him his space and wait until he calls me but the other part wants to just move on and save my pride.” i said ‘ok, have a great trip glad you got to spend time with your kids as an early father’s day present. in fact, if you look at this from a positive perspective, this scare might even end up improving your relationship. dating the man you want takes a lot of energy playing these games, particularly because they all seem to be catered to the whim of the man, not the needs of the woman. this circumstance has just gotten to me since yesterday and i really don’t have any consoling or knowledgeable girlfriends. signs she’s leading you on and taking you nowhere! our department is small, so everyone knows everyone well, even on all 3 shifts ( we work the same shift obviously). so this is all fine and great, and feels awesome, but when we add that into the time we spend together, and the way we've talked of the future, and our feeling become stronger and stronger and us even expressing those feelings, i'm now really worried that her throwing her lot in with me will further deprive her . i just dont know when to draw the line and say okay i’m tired of being an option and not a priority. i am going to a book store to look for one of the book that this site promote and see if i can find an answer. but when someone is fixated on continually inflexibly asserting their viewpoint without listening or taking in my response, then it’s no longer a discussion. we talked and spent some time together, a bit of time apart, and while when we first meet up after a bit of time it can feel a little anxious to me, that dissipates and things get 'normal'.… for future reference if things don’t work out with this guy, how do i respond to the beginning where he’s feeding me all of that bull? he treats me well and we see each other 3 times a week. finally yesterday i emailed him to let him know i was thinking of him and his family and hoped they were okay with everything going on in egypt. there’s more intimacy over the phone than in person. ironically enough, i would rather say something and part ways if he doesn’t like what he hears (not needy) than meet up meet up with someone that i don’t feel has been very considerate but act like everything is great just to keep the relationship moving forward (needy! my firends, his friends/roommates, and even his roommates girlfriends. the bad news is you already know he’s a player so you’re setting yourself up for heartache if you get attached to him. we’ve been dating for 6 months, and he started to withdraw and become distant. taking it very slow but definitely enjoying our time together. the past couple of weeks, he’s been acting kind of distant though. i thought perhaps using exaggerated language and flattery was something that, in his culture, men used to pursue women for very superficial reasons–just looking to get in her pants sort of deal. he listed pretty much everything and said he was nostalgic of the relationship…. relax about all of this and that he just needs some time. i texted to see what the plan was & he was out with a friend. stayed with him for two days and he was blowing hot and cold. i’ve thought about him every day and wonder if i should’ve given him another chance, but he hurt me terribly and i felt i should stand my ground.) it’s poisons the group – you’re covertly shaming women and spreading misinformation. i was totally shocked when he said he was not in a hurry because he pursued me with a vegenance and was very impatient. after a couple months we started hanging out a lot, but only cuddling and holding hands in public. she didn't want to give up on me, i don't know why, but it happens that we started a more serious relationship almost two week's ago. have seen… (continued – click to keep reading ask a guy: when a guy withdraws…). just a couple hours later i picked him up from the airport, and he was just his normal self kissing me telling me how much he missed me. but we stayed friends and eventually she asked me out. she keeps telling me that she had a loveless marriage and is not ready for a new relationship, so i have taken things slowly with her. he says that he really cares about me a lot and will always be there for me – he said this as he made me turn around to face him, looked me directly in the eye w/the most intense eye contact i’ve ever experienced and told me this. he even bought me a pillow for his house and we were making insignificant plans for when it gets warmer outside. as me and had just moved back to the city were in for a job. if youre ok with the assumption he isnt into you and dont even care about a friend. if he refuses to open up, get the heck out of there. aquarius has a zeal for embracing all that comes with the new age and would prefer someone to hold hands with while jumping ahead than to be with someone stagnant or worse, stuck in the past. lauren not sure you are still responding to these posts. i personally wouldnt think any less of you if you called him to simply find out if you offended him in any way but only if you truly cared. recommend her saying something like this (with a smile and a hug,). maybe text him something simple in a couple of days?’ then i decided, i’d better just relax and take his attention as i get it cause surely it wouldn’t last long. i had reconnected with a guy i went to college with (we were only friends then) he lives in the usa now and i am in england. so i would jump on board and give it another go only for him to flip flop again. he knew i was with her but didn’t even text me to say hi. these 15 signs to find out if a girl is leading you on.” and then joke that “you didn’t even miss me” and he told me he “really like me” after about 1 week of dating, he would always say that he wanted to hangout more and text more and ask if i actually wanted to call him the night he gave me his number of if i just felt obligated. he pursue me, he would call and text saying that he wants to see me and be with me. a couple of days she then told me she had been dating a semi-friend of mine for a while (while flirting with me), and that on a dinner date with wine that i had arranged for us (after she insisted on it). you should put a lock on your heart and just have fun, that’ll also male you more attractive to him. show him you’re cool and comfortable with being by yourself, maintain your personal interests, but don’t get angry at him. she says she is gonna come see me soon but that will change and she will have other plans. honestly, when i started to read, i had wanted to write to you of my particular recent situation.” generally speaking, most guys have a fear of being “trapped” in a relationship, but in this particular scenario you’re dealing with a guy who’s actions are especially dictated by avoiding unpleasant situations as a primary motivator. it’s already been two months, maybe try putting a little effort in? he and i were not intimate those two days but he wanted to be i refused until there was some type of explanation. he’ll still text me (not as much) and will still reply to my texts. she has now pulled away and said it is best if we don't see each other. it's really hard when your partner (male or female) pulls away. you asked where it went wrong so im just covering your portion of the story. my ex and i were dating for a year and a few months and all of what was described in the article happened to me. i'm just a bit confused, and would appreciate a fresh perspective on this. lauren, everything in this article is describing the problem i am having. truth is that i am pretty sure that she will keep me a secret from him in order to keep being in a relationship with him too- however lacking that relationship is. you really need to relax, nothing has actually started for you to be so confused about anything, and from the sounds of it, you don’t know him well enough to be certain he marks your checklist. he says i am so special and has never loved anyone like me before but can’t help how he feels this way. i can text him but he does not text me back. i told him i only asked because i was still confused about what really went wrong….#14 she doesn’t want to acknowledge that you like her. i did say i’d like to see him sometime soon and he said “definitely! response was that he’d been helping his family in any spare time that he’s had in between and that he was having a good time with me. we get along great, we *get* each other in a way that other people don’t and we are not trying to work at it, it just comes naturally and easily. so three days after he got back i figured it was prob over, and i decided i may as well clarify what is going on. i guess he really is revealing who he really is/his intentions toward me. shop around, get rid of the idea that there’s only “the one.. he said he dont think its fair for him to keep seeing me when he dont think hes gonna fall for me. they need someone who can both keep up and stand up, basically, a confident open-minded explorer. it's possible she was initially just looking to take a step back for a couple of days as we had recently been becoming closer but i then left that weird vm. the next morning i called and he didn’t answer. i’m one of those women and i do have made all of those mistakes, just don’t know why i just trust so easily, and you’re so right, i just would like to learn this for good! (because hey, if the feelings aren’t there, it’s not there). i guess what i need answered is, do i need to end this relationship, or see where it goes? i have never disputed that some relationships do go the distance even when allowing when introducing physicality early on. the thing is, he is always travelling for work and i see him like 2-3 times a month so far. that the reason why hes so stressed lately is because he wants to end our relationship. don’t mind to just forget about him but i still have my personal stuff at his place and i would like to get back. at this point, though, i’m wondering if i should talk about it with him. i actually thought he was seeing someone else at one point but now i think he is just very insecure and also doesn’t handle stress well…he’s also going through major issues with his employment. i frankly don’t understand why anyone would be so immature and not realize it as to do this, but this explains so much. i decided that after he said he’d be in touch, i’d let him do that if he chooses. (in this conversation i end up crying and demanding attention which probably made him withdraw even more…).? i am glad i found this site because i may have asled him why he seems different but now i won’t! there will always be others to meet and let in but i have taken a good look at men who have pulled away and decided its their loss not mine. a guy…i met him at a school function and he seemed shy at first. i am confused, a bit lost and waking up middle of night thinking about this. good news is that he’s already attracted to you enough because he visited you the next day and called. 5 days ago she approached me saying that she's fallen pretty hard for me. so i talked with her about and told her i now totally understand what happened.. and really that was not the case, i'd constantly have to prove her that was not the case that i really liked her and that i'd love to have her in my life as more than a friend. i advised him if we we were dating exclusively what was the problem because he could come to my home anytime. the sister was dropping subtle hints about her character and eventually i did not go through with the venture. i greatly appreciate you taking the time to write this. couldn’t take it anymore so ignored her calls and never spoke to her for a year now. took some of my comments here to use in tomorrow’s article about cheating – might be helpful for you to check it out when it runs tomorrow.. when his car got towed he was stubbornly convinced that i had it towed on purpose and hence thought it was perfectly okay to ice me out and be verbally disrespectful). understand what you’re saying… i can tell you that some guys are not very good at expressing what it is they’re feeling or even understanding it. things were fine, until about 10 days later when he kissed me. she suddenly said that she can't keep going with this and i'm speechless and i only said "okay and we're still friend" because i think she's rejecting me.. but aftr 3 months he asked me to fly to seattle where he lives so we could get to know more abt each other. he use to be okay with his image, sure we are both over weight, but we tried our best with it, and now he wants to starve himself and loss weight. that said, i disagree with the words choice suggested to find out where his interest level is. i help calm her down and get her to think clearly about a lot of things. i found out through our friend in common (his bff) that he was coming back and that he called her many times while he was away. so anyway i was silly but i decided to msg him asking how his wkend was, and when i’ll be seeing him again and i had some stuff to give to him. it ended up being a super brief conversation about nothing really. should i call him and talk to him about how i’m feeling? on my metro card this is gonna be a two shitty weeks for me. i did not think a similar situation existed out here, and i could recognize almost every point above.! thanks for sending the pictures back but i’m gonna keep mine if you don’t mind.) i noticed a slight withdrawal on his part, and instead of letting him (and me) to have space to process things, i took his withdrawal the wrong way, as a threat, and got upset with him and definitely made him feel like i was trying to take away his freedom. there are many reasons for this, and one paragraph is not going to cover it. or do guys try to spare their own feelings by distancing themselves as well? the reason is to soften the blow of the truth, which is: he doesn’t want you to be his girlfriend. it explains her to the dot it’s actually quit impressive. the tour meant she had to extend her stay but i urged her to go becaus it could lead to opportunities. fell in love with such a girl and now i am broken like hell. i asked him of he still loved & he answered i don’t know.. makes excuses that he is too tired or that he spent so much money on. well i didn’t but when she came home from her college break i asked her to dinner and a movie at the local mall. i knew it was bad, i knew it would only push him away, but in the moment i was freaked out, and scared about him leaving, i got needy. during this hard time of yours he had to have said something to you in terms of his needs. were you all this time i was making so many mistakes in my relationships? so by then we had a pretty good idea of what each other represented. very good advice, thanks for helping me understand guy perspective! i cried often, and fought with myself daily to keep from contacting him…. men make up their own ideas of what is needy and what isnt based on their history. please kindly tell me where to look if you have already wrote things could answer these questions. ended up being together again until recently – the on off relationship – sex only when she wanted to – told me she wasn’t into sex. he’ll start to wonder if you’ve missed him and if you don’t have an attitude about it (and why should you? i got pregnant and he didnt want any kids so i aborted it for him, i mean i would do anything to keep him from being mad at me. i like swimming in deep water so dark there is no light. at the times she gets a little too comfortable with you holding up her weight and her “self-love” muscles start to weaken, a little alarm goes off in her subconscious. we made it a weekly plan of working out on mondays and wednesdays, today after we were done and walking to our cars he mentions how good he felt and that we should work out a little bit tomorrow after work as well. later he said “i’m sorry i haven’t been feeling the same lately and i’m sorry if i’m hurting you by saying this its just how i feel :t ”. he said thanks for the thoughts, that he was just sorting through some stuff. but when we see each other in person, he will tell me he loves me. he recently said he thought we should move forward but i’m not ready to and i’d like to think he doesn’t really mean that either… am i crazy? when a man is acting like this it’s because he’s not happy with you (or himself). fact you have a great sex life is a good sign. i didn’t hear from him for 5 days and sent a txt asking how things were going and he replied thanking me for my patience and saying class life was intense and when he wasnt studying or in class he was eatting or sleeping.’m sorry for making this longer than i first intended to. i think you’re browser is messed up – there’s no gray text on pink background anywhere on this site – all text is on a high-contrast background, as readable as can be. and if you do see these traits in a girl who’s blowing hot and cold with you, get away as fast as you can, however you can! she decided to leave it unresolved- by not calling the guy. my guy and i did not survive the freak-out phase because i too “freaked out”!?Okay, i’m gonna let you in on something that very few women know. he sent me an email explaining that he needs to take care of the drama himself and wants me to know it has nothing to do with and that i am everything he has ever wanted and i need to stop making things difficult.” i was hoping he would say something like i really like you or want to be with you so thats why i kept pursuing you. he promised that once things settle down at work that he would give us a chance. since our second child who is nearly 5, not much has gone on as far as me and my partner are concerned. i told gemini that i wasn’t interested in this other guy, that he wasn’t my type. we were introduced by his best friend and talked on the phone for about 3 weeks and we really had a cosmic connection! of course don’t go over bored but calling him every once in a while or a text to see how his day went will only show you’re interested in him and his life. he won’t talk to me now and i just want us to be just friends again…but he shut me off…if only ive read this way before i dated the guy. i am at a point now though, where i am getting tired of waiting, so either way i would be fine. one whole day we exchanged texts/pics till late at night.. you can end it and walk and search for someone else or can enjoy the time the way it is and search for someone else. he left me a couple of messages on facebook, to which i didn’t reply, and a few days later sent me a text saying he misses me a lot and that he doesn’t mind if i think it’s ridiculous. i don´t know what lauren recommend to me how can i promote a second thought. other side of this is that you fill your life with things that really engage and fulfill you. let the games begin… i’ll be standing with my feet on solid ground not sinking sand when all is said and done… i heard another guy in here say man up. it seems odd to me that he is calling me when he is supposed to be on vacation having fun as a single guy…., do you enjoy taking time away from a relationship to reassert your autonomy and strengthen your self-love muscles? i have a gut feeling he might, but he is very arrogant and probably too proud to ever admit he was wrong to end things…. throughout any circumstance it is imperative to be tru to yourself and make requirements for people to treat you in the fashion you wish and deserve to be treated, if this deep down is you accomodating more to please him than you truly getting your needs met, you need to evaluate if it’s right for you. lauren, i recently started seeing this girl and things were going good for a while.. you have to consider if this man will change so drastically that he will be able to fullfill your needs for love and affection in the long term? the 2nd time he invited to his house we watched a movie and ended up having sex. he would always ask if i missed him, then say “show me how much you missed me! it is very good pricy gym and guy was working there over 10 yr , has good reputation. just wanted to say i appreciated eric’s quippy commen in response to the “other sarah” as i have so generously decided to dub her be that i think these articles are insightful. i know it sounds ridiculous so it took time for me to accept but i’ve seen it’s true. when i said nothing, they’d come back and i decided i didn’t want them anymore by that time. i went on 4 great dates over a month and a half period because we are both busy people. hurts but i need to remember that i made the stupid move and i should let him have some time to get over my behavior and miss me. the tone of the relationship was set from the beginning when you jumped into bed too quick. my thoughts are, she's not interested, but why does she still txt back. plus if around friends or family he’s acting this certain way, which he has been, i find it embarrassing for him to turn around and say there’s nothing between us. forward to today…one of my male friends said that he is only using me, and any guy that calls that late at night and only wants to hang out at his house is just using me. it wrong to want to hear these words from him? she hates it when you give another girl any attention. it isn’t because i don’t trust him…i was thinking about the possible impact if ever i had send my naked picture to him…. any case, i spent months trying to figure out why he kept leaving and then coming back with sweet nothings, only to eventually withdraw again. he texted me that he was having a hard time. the mistakes i made was i yelled at his female assistant, when i drunk on my birthday. she said to me that she want to take it slow and what happen is i was too excited that it make our relationship seems move to fast. family hated my fiancé for my divorce and hence we decided to shift outside country and stay out for 2 yrs by which time my parents may calm down. and when he went out to hang out with his friends, he facetimed me and let me talk to all of his friends and at times secluded himself from his friends just to talk to me and he just drowned me in compliments and pet names. men will always treat women with a degree of respect if they view her as potentially ‘the one’. i’m not sure if i could’ve done something to make him mad or if he just plays this game with girls? asked what he didn’t miss (since he seemed to be saying he miss everything! after a couple of weeks of seeing each other fairly regularly, spending weekends together and having daily contact, he started withdrawing.. when he tells me he gonna wait for me to get home so we could skype i always tell. all you can do in these situations is watch a man’s actions as they ultimately speak louder than words. i just wonder what the hell he’s doing or got in his head because despite these really recent changes, he still considers himself single and feels he wants to be alone. i've been seeing a girl for 2 months (we're both in our 30's if that helps! would it be wrong to tell him that i value his friendship and that i’d like to continue our friendship? one of my guy friends suggested that its quite possible that he felt he was moving too fast and wanted to slow down, or that because this guy is divorced, he may have some other fears or whatever and they may not be tied to me. there’s this guy i’m crazy about, but i do these things to preserve myself. i’m a real traditional girl so i’m not big on asking guys out, i’d rather have them ask me. he looked disappointed, i find it hard to tell him my real issue as i was very stressed up and he said ok and left. since we’ve been back together (using that term loosely), he’s been initiating all the relationship conversations…. we met on a dating website a few months ago and recently i found out he was still on not one, but two dating websites. i even bought another car so she could use my old one. i just want him to be happy and i feel like i failed. i confronted him, feeling really betrayed for the first time ever. i watched your video again and realized the 3 weeks we dated got intense from the first date.., i made up a spot for him on the couch. when you do nothing, that’s when they are more likely to come back. when i pointed out to him that he has made a commitment to me , he sounded hurt and said , he is not a selfish person and he can stay in this relationship if i term him selfish. the aquarian is not one to wade in the muck of gossipy nonsense or help with issues that have no practical resolution available. i need that sometimes coming into a relationship as well. now i pissed him off and he is taking his time that he expressed needing. women need to realise that a man is usually on his ‘best’ behaviour whilst wooing a woman, so therefore if he’s dragging his feet, blowing you out on dates and not sticking to his side of the coin, what is he going to be like if you go further and he gets even more complacent? as knowledge seekers, the aquarian will not only want to learn from a partner, but also share as many intellectual adventures together as possible. he told me it was because he missed me, that we had spent so much time talking and sharing and when we broke up, nothing! now i hope i didn’t push him away saying i was busy all week, but i did say i was available on the weekend ( even though he’ll probably be working but never mind). your guy needs you to act more and speak less…. to me, making excuses and canceling plans is unacceptable and saying that we should just “wait it out” seems horribly wrong. mind you, i didn’t go crazy on him, just let him know that i hate when people “disappear” like that. in an earlier post, eric said that he tries not to be a “dating advice” columnist – just give his opinion on common issues that we may encounter in our relationships/involvements with men… your post may be too specific and he may feel that giving his feedback on it would in fact be, “dating advice”…. my questions, however, can make you see clearer and make you understand yourself better. eventually, you don’t care whether she’s another guy’s girlfriend, you just want her attention and her love. he’s very private and has never brought a girlfriend home and doesnt like for his family to know his business/personal life. really gals, don’t waste emotional energy thinking what might be going wrong with the guy, just keep yourself occupied with other things/people/activities in your life and you’ll see him cone back to you at his own time. whenever he does this, it seems like he ends up going longboarding.), so i told him i’m happy and life is good, and he shouldn’t feel like he can’t contact me because its too hard for me. the insecure guys tend to feel even more insecure around us, they try to control us and withdrawing love is one great way to get us frustrated, needy and insecure. i told her i hadn't her much from her recently and asked if everything was alright and she said everything's fine shes just been really busy. we chatted briefly & when i asked if he had plans wednesday he stopped replying. i won’t initiate contact with him again, even though i do want to see how he’s been. i talked to him about it and he said that he was sorry and that he still wanted to be with me. then about a month ago she broke up with me saying "idk if we're right for each other" after quelling her concerns which were mostly coming from her family (they don't think we're right). he’ll act the same as he did before and imagine feeling like this for another 5 months after he goes mia again. where i can relate to your article is that since she has met me, she has derailed a lot of her routine to accommodate her new desire in me. then he said he wants to be single and wants to enjoy his life with girls. i tell you this story so that you can understand her side of things and so that you can know that she was genuinely interested., i think i over did it with the current boyfriend, but ill try this thing out with the next one. its not fair but only the men who are comfortable with their femme side will verbalize the hurt.’s not manipulation at all to hold off, it’s making him realize you are worth more than the sex, and the sex is the added bonus. she's very attractive and warm at times but can also be cold and very difficult to be close to. i know how i feel but i don’t know how to say things. i've known this woman for a few years, and recently she moved to my city after ending things with her partner of 1 year. i can’t help though, but feel like, when a man decides to get distant with me, cancel plans and generally act mia that is disrespectful and by accepting that kind of behaviour and “playing it cool”, rather than communicating an expectation to be open and respectful, including communicating a need to cool down or take space, that i am in fact exhibiting a willingness to be treated poorly. after my visit we talked a few times and his messages started to have a longer and longer delay and less and less content until after a month or so i told him that i miss him but i understand if he can’t invest in me right now. i have not asked him why he was too busy to call when he said he would. he may be freaking out who knows but take it slow… i dated a guy for a month in december. he said he thinks their is a future for us but this is a phase and he wants to take it up as an experiment. in the end, you are simply condoning his behavior and when he leaves you, you will end up feeling like a fool because you accepted it for so long. as this was going on before things got worse we were looking at starting a business with her sister..i love him very much but i don’t like the way he treats me like that…. though as wonderful as it is, it’s hard to survive on just that. in love is supposed to be a happy experience, not a confusing one. i would just feel bad for myself for an hour, then get right back on that dating site, and land yourself a new date this week. he was all with me until out of nowhere he pulls out before being exclusive and goes mia on me and then tells me he’s not ready for a relationship just yet etc etc. we hung out one more time and had sex again, but at my house and he did meet my parents. i kind of like it that he did nt come around and asked me out straight away but tried hard to find common topic with , wrote me long emals.’m glad that she’s letting you move on with your life j…you deserve happiness! at first i thought he would never come fly to see me but he did. he was suppose to meet up with me last weekend so i can return what he left at my place and he can give me my pass….’s not blocking me on the apps we use to communicate though. after that all i got was a text saying it was great last night and i miss you , then it has been up to me. or at least start thinking in terms of us instead of him…. in fact, when the guy really truly likes a girl, he’ll go for days, weeks, w/o caring whether he got some, he’ll just want to be in her company. are complicated but sometimes – or very often- we tend to stereotype them in a way that is certtainly not close to their real nature. the advice is real, honest and just what i needed to hear, unfortunately 2 weeks ago…. we didn't talk for a few days even if she would constantly texting me how sorry she was and how stupid it was and all that. some point, you fixated on this guy and your relationship to him as something more than it is. he knows i love him and i tell him all the time. technique she used on me was at first say i am into you, blah, blah, blah. for some reason he feels as though the time we do spend together isn’t enough for me. if you two are at a place where he wants some time apart then give it to him willingly. everything is great and we talk thru whatever problems we may face. he has been traveling a lot with his work lately, and we see each other every week, or even less. if you had a shot at all in the first place, he’ll finally pull the trigger and make you his girlfriend. i got all the signs he really digged me and wasn’t looking for a hookup. i told him i was very busy the first time.’s nothing against her or the subject matter at hand. one thing led to another and we spent the night together. i make sure he knows that he doesn’t need to apologize for not getting back to me asap. i think it is so sad that men get scared and leave women hanging not knowing what happened or what they did wrong. he said he would leave at 11pm and ended up leaving at 9:30pm. for the quick reply dorothy, i must say it was fast and the only reply i ever got here…. i told him that i will give him space and time he needs, i told him i love him and i don’t need another man to make me whole and i will just do the things i do and keep working my way to get scholarship to usa as we’ve planned. he maintains that he’s happiest alone where he’s not responsible for anything with a relationship or what it entails basically and he wants to always be alone… never get in a relationship again, all that jazz. if she needs alone time, you can trust that she will ask for it. it could be why men cheat and marriages don’t last. but she’d still lean in, wrap her arms around you and kiss you to make you feel better! in my situation, i have been seeing someone for about a month, no relationship conversations have taken place just enjoying whatever happens but we are in regular contact. but at time it depends on the situation with the guy who i was with it was combination of stuff happening in his life and freaking out. if i let on that i like you (too much)…you might freak out, thus running for the hills…. you put the loss of your dog over the comfort he has provided you. she says she needs to focus on herself and be single. i’ve lived my life, gone out, been on a couple friendly dates and stuff, stood my ground but i haven’t slept with anyone or anything for that matter. and when he asked for the hoodies a month ago from my job, i said oh i seen some that i love. does it mean if a guy that tells you he likes you and wants a relationship with you, always bails when you make plans to hang out? i’d like a little help with the next move its been 5 days and i’m leary on texting him again. agree that we should always take the stance of going for what we want without looking for the guy to decide first. the next day, i had checked his profile in facebook. i started to really like him and reciprocated his affection; however, i never really gave into his mush- talk because i’m very protective of my heart. he already has a history for not being able to commit. however, when it comes to my own emotions it is hard to get my head around all thats happening 😀 … it is always hard to evaluate situation when stuff is very subjective and we encounter conflict of interest (believe what we want to at the time given due to being emotional etc). guess i was in the freak out phase with my ex.

What to do if ex is dating someone else

17 Things To Expect When You Date A Girl Who's Used To Being On

you should not continue to assume things and actually appreciate her as she is., as someone who has spent her share of time “mindf***ing” (only sometimes fun), i think the insights and perspectives here are wonderfully effective. he wrote back, ‘i don’t think so it’s getting late. attraction was immediately stated by both him and i , but scary, we look nothing alike but think exactly the same. i simply hope the minimal contact i did make hasn't made her feel repulsed or driven her completely away. he just sounds down in the dumps but wants to chat tomorrow. i prefer to do what is being done / talked about. i loved how it explained all the whining and dining that was done in the beginning of my relationship. if a guy goes mia on me, believe me, there is no freak out stage, i just wipe my hands of it. if this be the case, it will go one of two ways, either the other woman will totally enrapture him and you won’t hear from him again, or it won’t work out with her and suddenly you will get a ‘hi, how are you? with respect to my own situation i hope you want to enlighten me. i texted him a couple of more times, eventually asking to make specific plan, and still got no response! right now, we broke up for the reason he couldnt take my emotional msgs to him or me telling my problems to him. to this brilliant column of yours, eric charles, and please, keep up the good work 🙂. i haven’t questioned him about the falling out at all. guys are not into games the same way that we are. it reminded me of you and i thought we could go some time. anyway to cut a very long story short the ass wipe left me one sunday morning to go back to his mums saying he didn’t know what he wanted and that he felt lost! its just not like him and he is just saying he is tired. right now, it’s been like 5-6 days since he and i last contacted each other. so i don’t know what the deal is with him. not an easy task by any means – but less so for a woman!’ll keep working on that, whilst harbouring the secret hope that he might just miss me enough to come back all by himself! you do not forgive unless you get something worthwhile out of it. in the beginning of my relationship with my partner, "no response necessary" was his solution to me feeling pressured to respond. monday he worked 8-8 which he continued to do everyday this week. this basically pushed us into a “maybe we should take a break” conversation. i am ready to move on but hope to figure out these puzzle first to help my next relationship. [read: 20 signs to recognize a people pleaser when you see one]. she invited me over for nye and we just hung out and talked while watching television. to be assertive: 17 ways to speak your mind loud and clear. i am seperated and have made this fact known to him, he understands the situation. me, this is probably the most important statement in the article: “it’s easier to look at his behavior if you can see it through a lens of compassion, and not from a place of frustration or fear. he was texting a lot in the beginning & being attentive & sweet. he makes her happy, she becomes dependant on him to make her happy. she actually came over last night & spent the night with me, i took her to work the next morning & ate lunch with her on her lunch break. he said he was glad and asked if he could call me later in the week…i said yes. i’m thinking, if i want this guy back, i need to become unavailable for a while and see if he comes to me – am i right? he says he would rather “go around it” than deal with it, because people get hurt and he doesn’t want to explain himself twice.” = water under the bridge but stay on your toes because i have standards. will just let it roll and give him his space. it looked like everything was going great and we made had plans to see each other again. four months ago i met a lady that swept me off my feet. we had a lot in common and instantly hit it off. you’ve already been through that stage, you’re most likely absolutely ready for a long-time commitment and you probably want a family. he seemed super interested and i have no idea how that changed in a day?.i just feel like crying and am so confused on what i should do. yes, he feels something, but it is not “missing you” that he’s feeling..please help me to know what goes on in a man’s mind when he takes some space. it’s this wishy-washy behavior that has me confused and blaming myself for not being more forward about my positive feelings toward him. while you might start getting really excited by this prospect, this particular guy has probably gotten freaked out. i know the time was terrible, but he said ” i’m not ready to call you my gf yet”. she may even get naughty over the phone or have phone sex with you. i feel we lack some chemistry because of a bad start which has been hard to recover from. i asked her if she needed space and she would say no. sometimes i feel like letting it go for good but i cant help but to blame myself for what i had said to him. i decided the other night, i wanted closure and texted him as i hadn’t gotten a return phone call (since friday) that night as he said he would. i’m also a direct person, so if i was able to leave a message i would probably be doing the same thing you did. its so hard, i mean we were best friends for the longest time, and we were there for each other through everything, we have both had a very hard life, which confuses me as to why he will not speak to me, i cant help but say something sad when he is online, he treats me like we are less than friends, he will not talk to me, hes cruel, i dont know what to do i know i must go on but we have such a strong relationship that it scares me, he is in a marine military school, i can only talk to him on the weekends, well one tuesday i was just sitting in a chair and suddenly i was in horrible pain in my left arm, to the brink i was crying, went to doctor and nothing was wrong, when he didnt call me saturday i was worried, i got ahold of his mother and he had been hurt in his left arm on tuesday, we dream the same dreams, we know when each other is hurt, and the suddenlyn i cant feel him near me anymore, its cold and lonely and when my soul cries out to him, theres nothing but darkness. she always asked to hang and also preferred it when i asked her to hang out. that was 3 days ago and she has not returned my call or text me. to make it worse just last week i asked the big question. but you were right that there must be a reason why he takes it so slow…. this past weekend we went up north for a couple days to spend some time on the water, not just the two of us but with a small group, we had a blast together but the day after we got back all of the sudden she is acting distant. he has also said there are “girls” that he knew from school he would like to reconnect with. guy told me that he couldn’t believe the way i make him feel and that he’s never been so happy in his life. energy you could be putting into your relationship to make it better. he said we should not make any big decisions and think about things. i don’t want to loose him, but i want him happy. then he flaked and canceled last-minute claiming to be busy/hungover etc. give her a few more days and then shoot her a text like this: "hey. would a woman do that to a man…i think not. quickly you have sex or don’t have sex is irrelevant. i have been seein my best friend of 2yrs for about 3 months but she is married and she said we was gonna leave him but hasnt yet. my advise is no matter how anxious you are to follow up on the date, if he hasn’t texted you to confirm on the day go ahead and make plans with your girlfriends and then if he asks, be all buttery and say ‘oh, i’m sorry i didn’t realise the date was happening so i went ahead and made plans’. it seems like all we do is argue and its been that way for 5 years, its mainly over stupid things. we coulgn't get her passport in time so she couldn't go. she’s friendly and close for several days or weeks, and all of a sudden, she ignores you and won’t have time for you again., i’ve heard loads of opinions regarding what to do with the guy i’m seeing, from friends, family, my therapist… but your insight really shows the other side of the situation.! we've talked about everything, and we are for the most part really good about our comunication at talking about our concerns and maybe even insecurties! also i have noticed every time i try to post there the page never loads correctly, maybe i just can’t use this site properly. i messaged her to make sure she got into mexico safely, and she responded as her usual self. think most people would agree that the connection needed between a man and a woman to make a long lasting relationship is based on a lot more than sex. wasn’t sure why he was suddenly so cold to me after our perfect little relationship. i met this amazing guy and he was so into me, said he wasn’t going to let me go and hinted that a guy has to marry a girl like me so i wouldn’t get away." it has to be getting stale in there :-) thank you for your previous advice, however, here i am again still hurt and confused. if not then just let it go and the next person you encounter give yourself permission to ask the right questions. want to add that i know that he is single (for sure). he flew down july 4th weekend to see me and we had the most marvelous time of our lives. thanksgiving he was going to egypt to spend time with his family (he is from there), and we spent some nice quality time together before he left). eric, hope you continue to do what ‘re doing in the way you’re doing it! i didn’t overanalyze it or google “how long should i wait before sleeping with him. she recently invited me to stay with her at her home for two weeks. you back off when a guy is going through the freak out stage, how long after not contacting you before you know it’s not him needing space and instead that he’s really not interested anymore? have a question, i am engaged to a guy since 3 years, we dated for 2 years..Have to say i completely agree with sofia on this one! i messaged him back calling him out on it, he did not reply. i have been playing things cool…not acting needy or anything and i am enjoying myself. you pout, show any signs of having your feelings hurt, if you try to talk her out of it, or become needy and follow her into her cave, you will pay the price. men are not all that difficult as we like to imagine, we are the ones that make things difficult: through obsessing, over-analysing, clinging on when the essence of a relationship has left us. he’s in his late 40’s he talked about moving in helping me with mortage paymetns. women’s intuition is powerful, we sense who digs us, we sense when things are ‘off’. after that day he was just plain mean to me and even though we kind of moved past that and started seeing each other again. he had his reservations but quickly decided that he was ready for me to come back…he missed me and the energy i added to his life. and i don;t think he is cheating because i know all his friends, and family, and his brother would tell me, but do you think he is cheating? you falling for a girl who’s giving you mixed signals? the crunch line is that i can not give you any advice, you are not lost – since you know exactly what feels right for you. but i would like to know if he cares at all, or if i’m just “friend/love match” substitute because he’s bored. i live my life and go about it i tell him i’m busy sometimes to make myself a challange. though we usually spend friday and sunday evenings together – he is never affectionate towards me. today, i made a phone call and left a voicemail. i just give him some space and let him come to me? read them on a daily basis, you know for future reference. a person can’t go on forever giving love and receiving none in return, just the occasional cuddle time and loving gestures. until a guy asks me to marry him he is really just a guy. a way, it’s probably instinctual for a guy to need to know that his woman really knows how to “give him space” before he deepens the relationship. but he did not even give me the chance 2 prove 2 him…that i was sorry!. the whole thing got really ugly and we broke up. thought i’d tickle your brain some more 😉 thanks for reading through all this in advance. had a great time together but after a week he change. this dissolved it and what interest i had for him dissolved with it. god bless anyone in this situation we all need a xanax lol. often, if you can understand why they're pulling away it's easier because you don't take it personally. i told him i loved him but he never said anything back i really need you help. i have gone over everything that happened before he left and no clue what happened? think he may not be too sure in the way that i like him and that is the reason he is holding back. on the other hand it has been too long … well, i never showed initiative because i care about m reputation in that place as i love that gym and i will have too see him 3 times a week there. i am in the over-analyzing mood of the “am i being annoying? except, i can’t leave a voicemail, since he (the guy i was seeing) didn’t set it up yet. and if you do see these signs, walk away before it’s too late! i suggest we need to talk friday after work just in case. recently he has kinda put me in the friendzone e yet he wants to always meet me touch me fool around with me and most recently tried to have sex with me. although just spend my time at her place doing homework. it sucks and i don’t think i can end it., i had the same thing happen with a man that i slept with. it was the best thing i could have done, as it really helped me to move on and feel better about the whole situation. said there was no big reason, it was just an accumulation of things that wreren’t working out for him and entirely him. thank you for your article to put my perception/perspective back in order. if it’s meant to be more than a passing flirtation, that’s how you should let it unfold.. and he replied back saying l want my space it’s been 2 weeks since i last tried getting in touch with him. – if i were to say “one week” or “two weeks”, then i would have women taking that as a benchmark and holding their breath during that time period, watching and waiting for him to come around. no one wants to be around someone uninteresting and who seems to be infatuated only about you. sounds like you’re on a good path – good luck and feel free to stop by here anytime if you need to. the best thing you can do is just to is carry things on as business as usual. and i’ve found that staying cool, happy and having a full life makes me more intriguing as a woman. the day of our date, he sent me 2 texts, was super rude and completely blew me off only to text me at midnight saying hello. he said he was impressed that i had managed to not contact him (! think you are pulling a power move (ie letting your ego get the better of you) by putting a cap on the threat just because someone disagrees with you. i have decided not to text/call until he does. when i asked if he had time for a quick call he said, “no, dear. finally called him yesterday after not speaking for a week and being very disappointed that he didn’t recognize my birthday. is this the freak out stage where he is trying to decide if he really likes me now that i may be available, or has he decided that he doesn’t want anything with me afterall? then let him come to you, at his own pace and let it progress naturally without force. i dont know what to do and how to react and am totally lost. but my body has an inclination towards her because i know that she is the only girl i’ve had this kind of bonding with. we have not spoken on the phone yet and not sure when that should take place since it’s still so early on. although your text message could turn him off you have to believe otherwise. of course i never got really into him because i saw through it since the beginning, but these signs describe him almost perfectly! he kept seeming insecure like oh you think i’m cool, well i think you’re a rad chick. to get your boyfriend to propose: 10 hints to get the ring.. if he does not change and you stay in the relationship are you then lowering your standard – or do you get the love from somewhere else? june he invited me to stay on his house for a week so we will know each other better and that is where the confusion begin . once i filled request for session and e respoonded after few months into my fb inbox that he found my request … after session (free one) he keeps txting me at least once a week. a few weeks ago i got last minute tickets to a concert that i really wanted to go to and i texted him asking if he wanted to go. subsequently deleted his number to stop any future neediness when i’m feeling lonely.. so that said… total kudos for the great job eric is doing with his column.. i told him i’ll give him space if thats what he needs and wants. the heart of it, i think you are assuming that guys are “playing games” with you or with a woman when they’re not responding. before i left, i apologized directly to his pa about what happened when i was drunk and also apoloflgized to him for pushing him away when he tried to have sex with me while i was drunk. sorry baby girl i didn’t mean for it to turn out like that. should i send him a happy birthday message during freak out phase? rarely calls,he doesnt do the things he used to do ,we dont see eachother! [read: 15 reasons why nice guys finish last all the time! he went out of his way in september to visit me for a weekend, that was very sweet. after all, there’s only a veiled line separating flirty friends and mixed signals. if he were to be asked he’d say we’re not together. he said thats what he does he pushes people away. some enraged women say here in brazil, “homenzinho de merda” -“shitty little guy”. then the last text he sent me after i was trying to get answers was “this has gone completely out of control and i’m at work. i havent dated in over a year and neither has he. if things were going great and then he got weird and started withdrawing, then that’s more typical of a freak out. i could not believe this was the same woman i had just spent a wonderful two weeks with. would you explain withdrawn behavior after entering into a relationship? reason why i responded is because what you wrote is a viewpoint that many women have and ultimately it’s destructive to relationships. he was hom to see his family and contacted me. often, over time, a person in a relationship with an aquarius will be able to sense when this aloofness is on its way and will know that creating space is the best way to go here.” i am going to save this column to save myself the trouble of explaining this over and over again to my girl friends. that’s the whole take away here, if you can’t be yourself around a guy with out worrying about how he’ll take it, then he’s not the guy for you. sincerely appreciated – honestly comments like yours make me happier than i could describe. from being absolutely amazed by me it has retracted to shorter direct answers. a week later i saw that he was active on two dating websites…i got mad called him out on it, and told him to take care and hung up on him. i would never even consider opening up any “feelings” towards him when he behaves like this.” i should have put a sock in my mouth because i actually do care. coz part of me is saying probably hes just too stressed with work and school. people at work think we are going together, some even mentioned that they thought that we were a married couple because they said that is what we act like.” and he had me text him when i got home, and he responded that he was glad i was safe. i’m not sure how this turned out for you since i see it was a few months ago. i’m going the revenge root and i already feel better just saying it to her face, people this heartless don’t deserve a person all they deserve is a small white room with a mirror . this is a great learning experience for you that you can apply to future relationships. then tuesday just gone i missed his calls because i was really busy since then hes stopped texting me as much and ringing me he only reply’s if i message him first i asked if id done anything wrong to offend him he said i hadn’t he just doesn’t like being ignored but i haven’t ignored him when he does message me back i sense hes being of with me as his message’s aren’t like they usually are he seems to be being very distant and off with me what should i do as i do think we could have something special. my boyfriends would make me endlessly happy, and i wa. look at this as a practice in having a deeper relationship. she is not answering my phonecalls and she rarely answer to my messages. that was two months ago and after that i sent him one message saying i was thinking of him and wished a good day. later, i started to notice that when we were in a group setting he would act kind of moody and ignore me. i do realise he can nt ask me out because of his work. thank you for the comment, i’m glad to hear that! if he really likes you he won’t mind at all, and if he does mind then he’s not the guy for you. i've been dating a 60 year old divorced woman for the last year. i dated a man i met online for about two month before he started flipping the script. we got close and started hanging out more and more. took me years to get over her then just last year she emailed me.”, first he’s all gung ho and tracking me down and calling me everyday and actually being quite hilarious about it all.) but he can’t or won’t, i’m not sure exactly.. we skyep but when she starts to miss my touch are my kiss are just us cuddling she does what we call the distance thing here she will pull away from me and not talk to me at all. when he stresses about work and all, it sucks him in.! this is amazing it explains everything and makes total sense. and when he does, dont move in with him until 1. i deleted him from my skype but he sometimes (once in a week) pings me on facebook or gmail. the second time we ended up separated after not to long and i moved back to my hometown. the world (and your presumably young) life isn’t going to stop, just coz a guy doesn’t wanna hang out with you one weekend. you allow yourself to get more and more concerned, more distracted, more afraid, more needy for him to act differently than he is now… then you will unconsciously push him further and further away. this is the first time i made mistake and for the whole 10 months during our long distance i showed him i am no drama queen, i am strong, independent and have qualities he needs in a partner. the first time we went to the gym he acted like a giddy school girl and the next day he was extra friendly and helpful. after five months we spend a weekend together (last december) and it was great. is pushing them away during the freak out phase the absolute worst thing, he said something about seeing what the future would bring. i’m gathering that in this case, mel, you enjoy his company but don’t feel comfortable kissing anyone who sees you as a “friend to hang out with” and aren’t dating perse, so yes he should know that. if anyone is meant too have a mate it will happen! he’s a really great guy and despite the struggle we’re having…he does treat me very well. every time we make plans he cancels or has a “family thing”. though, i think the true “magic” in your advising strategy was effecting this – instead of cringing at those moments of familiarity or getting in defense mode by thinking of the differences between my various men situations with those you were advising, i felt almost, i dunno, “cheery”? i been hurt really badly but i don’t have the courage to face up to this situation anymore i don’t know if he still want to be with me. the problem, or learning opportunity in my situation, is that he is in his alone time mind set as an aquarian, yet i know i should be too, but i want to establish such a friendship fast. this was great, but then he started to shift and lately has been acting really shady- he cancels on me last minute, he’s been acting distant, and i’m just getting weird vibes. i am trying to survive this freak-out phase, but i don’t wanna flat out ignore him, so the strategy you’re implying is to ignore him until he contacts me, just to get the point across that i have stuff going on in my life besides him and to make him miss me? when i acted needy, desperate, insecure, spending my time over analyzing and waiting around for a guy, it made for a crappy life. but things felt distant, she even said so and said she wanted to get back to how we felt when away - relaxed, light, easy, close. however, he was struck with the death of his grandma very early on our dating time. it’s been 2 days now and i haven’t replied yet and i’m so unsure on what to say. and i haven’t said anything about it to him. that night he was very affectionate, big on pda, basically being all over me as usual (not in front of my family though), but essentially it was the usual behavior, no red flags. i guess having something authentic or substantial to post about is the most important thing. if i am just something to fill in bored moments why spend 4 months cultivating a relationship with me? we texted a lot for a few days and then we went out on a casual date: slurpees, movie, walking around. things were progressing and i had to stop him at a certain point to let me know that i was not sleeping with him because i needed a commitment. i felt bad for doing this but it was going no where anyway! now, ever since he’s gone back, he’s been so up and down. i’m not going to go 13 rounds with you on this… if you don’t agree, feel free to find dating columnists who agree with your point of view (there are plenty… especially ones that are from decades ago and haven’t been on a “date” since women had feathered hair. my heart is telling me to not give up and call her., when i read certain phrases in a comment like “gag” or “man up” or that the other person has “quite a bit of growing up to do”, it comes off that you might be a little angry or bitter about guys in general and/or have a tendency to blame the guy as being the “problem”. so today i just sent him a quick “good morning cutie” text and he responded. every time you try to restrain yourself from getting in touch with her, or try to avoid falling in love with her, she’d try everything to make you lose your resolve and stay in love with her. how you show him his efforts are well received is by openly receiving him. i am totally devoted to my significant and us and our future. he asked me to stay in bed yesterday morning instead of getting up. it’s very painful because i honestly thought we had the potential for a great relationship…. decide who you like, don’t let them decide for you. i’m not into reading horoscopes for daily/future reference … when it comes to pointing out certain characteristics of each sign, like this has, i find a lot of truths and definitions very accurate. i’ve read a lot of dating books, relationship books, psychology etc. most women are terrified of "asking for space" so they just avoid you instead. if a guy is playing games and disappearing and being aloof, i have no idea what is going on in his head and perhaps past experience have told me to assume the worst and move on. started dating a guy i met online, we have been on 2 dates, which went well. the saying he wouldn’t mind if you found a new boyfriend is a little odd (could just be him teasing, could be him trying to eliminate personal guilt). i get aroused, i want to get close to him, but the environment and the circumstances forbid. wish is to actually move on from this…this is not the cycle of romance i would want with anyone. idk he keeps saying everything is his fault when it is not. it’s been 3 months since i’ve seen the guy i like. from meeting her parents, to her friends, being her +1 to birthday parties, etc, this girl really wants me around. i know his parents and siblings from a mutual friend. what i don’t know is how to hurdle this belief he has about what it is i want and our time together.. i told him in 2 weeks he’ll be done in this school semester and will have a vacation with me but he texted me and told. invited him to come home for a party and he told me to pack food for him and we meet some where. have you maintained your autonomy, if perhaps this is how you were? well i have to mention that this guy seems to really like me bt he told me our friendship is a 2way thing,true bt isnt the man supposed to persue the woman? he also told me out of himself and kept repeating, that he does not see a future with me. lauren, i'm really enjoying the posts i've found on the blog - thanks!.no apology or excuses for his behaviour, which leads me to believe he was stringing me along the entire duration. it is ok to care just like it is very womanly to give him a call to find out what is going on with him. if you hold on to the relationship any longer, it may just be too darn late and too darn hard. still haven’t gotten a reply to my post above. i think after so many years of listening to complaints from other people’s relationships it’s just one of those things that pops in my head. i never felt such mixed feelings for a man- i like him a lot but i deserve more intentionality. a few weeks later he told me how he made a mistake and wanted to pick up where we left off, and we did. he’s been back for two days and i haven’t heard from him yet. you for the response,but how long do i give him on his freakout phase before i can call it quits and move on? he drinks a ton and doesn’t ever seem to be coherent enough at night to carry on a conversation. bothers me the most , is that i experienced all of the above mentioned 7 years ago and breaking with her tore me apart. don’t jump into anything too quickly, especially not sleeping together, meeting your friends/his friends/parents/family, etc. is his head just in a different place so much with this upcoming trip that he doesn’t even realize it? i just worry that one day he’ll eff everything up by talking himself out of the relationship, if he thinks he’s not good enough. i even feel like he assumes that i’m going to be needy because that’s what most girls act like but 80% of the time, he texts me first now. he said that he had complicated things by kissing me. when i met him back after his 2 weeks of travel (1 week ago) , i was excited to see him but i was facing with a lot of family problems (family member has cancer) that time., i loved this article and what you had to maturely say. the guy i was seeing told me before that these next two weeks were going to be busy for him. i am focused on getting things done and having fun with my friends. even if you could spy on him, you would know in your heart that you crossed that line… and you can never cross back. or should i be taking this as a sign he’s no longer interested? in the past i have walked away from him…although he states he can roll solo, i have no doubt that’s not what he really wants.@audrey – that’s great that you love all these different eras and epochs. he said he wanted to be exclusive with me and we text and talk everyday even when he’s travelling. i did contact her a lot but she made it seem like she wanted that attention. we talked 2 days after she told me this because that first day when someone tells you that of course you don't understand i begged her not to go that i love her. each time we saw each other we had a great time (he would always send a text later telling me how much he enjoyed our time together and was looking forward to the next time).. and that really broke my heart 🙁 should i call him aftrr his finals and ask him all the questions i want to ask? is a guy i’ve know for about five years now and i’ve always had an attraction to him. and i agree with bethany… how long does this stage have to last. he is a nice guy but we haven’t given any chance to talk yet and i have attended the class for 4 days now, but he is doing it since from the beginning of the class. i’m going to try to be as unemotional as possible, not add any additional stress to his life and maybe we can even resolve this? this was also days after i sent him a message he nonchalantly ignored. he also appeared to get paranoid or something, sometimes saying things that didn’t make sense. she talked about guys she fancied, and after she got them interested in her, she soon dumped them, usually by cuddling up to me before their very eyes. he also sounds like all flash over substance and this is all about him and his ego. now that i think about it i shouldn't have done that but what can i say she just told me that out of the blue. when you make sure that you are truly happy and fulfilled independent of having a relationship, you will be much better able to handle everything and anything that comes up in a relationship. the whole point in dating is to decide if you could be with someone longterm, right? again he said lots of sweet stuff, paying for this and that like when we went out to eat. after finding out that he didn’t though, i was so conflicted because i wasn’t sure if i should ask him out. up today and read as much elephant as you like! also understand that your friendship won’t cause him to see you differently. lauren, i must say that i wish i had read this about a month ago. but can you send me a link anyway, i might just do it because i just need opinions and any advice i can get at this point in time. went on a family reunion, we continued to talk and text. im even feeling serene at having to study on an outnight…. after three years he can “just” meet someone and all of a sudden be confused? being yourself is somebody that doesn’t play games, it is important to be yourself. and over a period of a couple of years later she twice sought me out and very intimately wanted me to hook up with her. if youre secure in the relationship i would even suggest not saying who its from. i would hope if her feelings for me have changed she'd make a point to deal with it right away. this is a solid list of me to the bone, thanks for clearing me up for me 😉. it’s key to communicate value, confidence and that we are putting ourselves first. maybe it will prove to you that he really cares or loves you. he also gave me a half hug the 2nd day i met him then like the next day before we left he came up and gave me another one. ( he never ended up making that extra trip, nor has he called or texted me. i have made myself busy with my own priorities again… i know that he has tried to set up dates with another woman, i don’t know how it went and he doesn’t know i am aware of it, he lied to me about being asleep when he was on the phone with her, i just acted like it was not a big deal “you must have really needed sleep”…. i told him i understood & i’d just let him get ahold of me then & he said ok. i get this article and agree with it almost 100 percent but i think most of us are not reading the lines or between them. so thanks for helping me grasp the fact that i have to live my own life without waiting for some guy to want me. we still live together and sleep in the same bed because she has no money or place to go. well with some it helps with others it will make them feel worse afterwards. the root of it, the same sense of insecurity that made the guy obsessed with finding out if you like him is now scaring him into thinking that you’re going to “take his freedom away. and i said not thats not what l want & he said he didn’t either. at least i know now that i am on the right track – (i. am i not right to question why no phone call return should he call again? i accepted it but i think it made me look weak. upon coming home, we made a date where he cooked me dinner and gave me a wonderful gift from his travels. so don’t try to push him to do anything – live your life and give him the space to come to you. i cannot be with him, he’s married, and even though he flirts with me as well, i know it’s just a pasttime thing, that he’d never risk his ongoing relationship to be with me. interesting thing is, i found that she really did love me. we agreed to not talk until she works through this period in her life, yet, me being of two minds, wanted to see her and sent a couple of texts and calls, to which she didn't reply. i hardly hear from him and it makes me upset. do i go to his house before he leaves to give it to him? like in my mind i knw wats best for me and im doin it,i’ve broken off wid him. months of a wonderful start, but then i got a little upset and he withdrew…he’s also 7 years younger. maybe it is… but if it isn’t you might want to consider an approach that doesn’t involve blaming or “should’ing” the guy.’m 14, and i met this guy who i started to like. if you let him get away with acting like an idiot, then he knows he can push the envelope more to see what else he can get away with. it might sound silly that i am completely and unquestioningly accepting a stranger’s opinion online, but i really do believe that you are very intelligent and know what you are talking about. this woman is to put it blunt super sexy but a real head case. can find her on facebook and twitter (as long as you aren’t a stalker).©2016 john gray's mars venus, llc all rights reservedshopping cart by brand retailers. over the holiday i had to put my dog down.) finally, you've given her an easy way to make contact with you again since she can refer to the plan you've suggested and you've ended the text with a smiley face so she knows you're not pouting about her pulling away (this self-assuredness is so attractive! just yesterday she bought me gifts and cooked me dinner and she was just all about me. this guy is keeping it light as he should at this stage. he did tell me he is single because he is a “workoholic” but was trying to change. he seems to want to do for you but the catch is to not compare your experiences with his or fix his problems for him. fact is: it’s about depth of connection with the guy.? sorry just never been in such a whirlwind or to the er in the first couple of days….… and after two months he contacts me at midnight with a text saying “hi honey…it’s been a long, long time. i don’t go as much as i used to but i have noticed changes.. i love that script - now i know how to recognise my feelings and what i can say!

15 Signs She's Leading You On and Taking You Nowhere!

2,147 shares share dear daddy, why didn’t you show up? could he be distancing himself from me since he is leaving? go out and find socks that are softer and more resilient and send them to him. i like things to be discussed, settled, and forgotten about. so i said “darn, i was hoping to share another kiss since i am not half asleep this time…haha :)”. well he met a girl and developed certain feelings for her. so this summer i decided to date my friend… really stop putting up a wall and give him a chance.” we were hanging out all the time…more than i’ve hung out with any other guy i’ve dated and it was only a month and a half into it. what is frustrating though, is that here i am trying to understand and learn to give space buy why can’t guys understand how we feel during this time? silver, here’s my 2 cents since a reply hasn’t been written yet. i appreciate everything he does to make me smile, and everything he is. he did say he would like to go out again. she says her feelings haven't changed, but the single title makes that hard to understand. now she left back home after just finishing exams and we havent really talked because i know its just going to make it worse right now (only 3 hours away from me) but i did ask to give me a week and a bit to just think about all we have been through and that sort of stuff and she said yes. pain full story is too much to write in few words. about a month ago, my dog had gotten really sick. we spoke a lot about what was happening but i never really got a straight answer. my girlfriend has recently had out of town family members come to visit and between me and them had little time for herself. like right now this time he had started spending every weekend with me and everything was good and then boom just like that he stops answering my texts and calls telling me he is tired of me accusing him of doing things he is not and then the banger he is 30 years old now and i keep saying all of these harsh things to him and he is tired of playing kid games he cant do it anymore when he is the one who start avoiding me! part of me is very frustrated by how slowly this is progressing…. what if he sees me as needy or what if is not the right time and my question will push him more further away. well no word thursday & then he texted me friday and just said hi, what are you doing tonight? i’m just hoping you can give a little insight to my particular situation:I was very casually dating a guy for a couple months. he’ll be short with me and hardly respond or when we skype, he will treat me like a “homie” again. and then we spend more time together while i'm still confuse about our relationship and now she's got exam so she need her time again. it took us both by surprise that we were so attracted instantly and i assume that is why she retreated on me twice. gals are more “mental” about things that happen in life, thinking it all through and that’s why words from guys are so important to us. i know sometimes men need to retreat and he’d done it before but only for a couple of weeks and he always came back strong. if he doesn’t, i wouldn’t take him seriously at all. she is a good, kind and beautiful woman and i know she is crazy for me, on our dates and at her home she can not keep her hands off of me. before he left he was like you gotta call me tonight, which i did but it was quick things are good get some sleep talk to you later. he sent me all the signals that he was very interested, but now he is playing it cool or acting different. i decided to make a hard decision for my own sanity and pull away and break it off. just really wanted to thank you for this great post. days before he left he started not taking phone calls (2) or returning txt’s. even a mutual close friend talked with her and confirmed with me there's no other guy (he said trust what she is saying). lora, from reading what you wrote, it appears as though you like this guy a lot, but i am not sure you are being honest with yourself with what you want from him. the reason i think he’s going through the “freak out phase” is because he was very needy and insecure when we started seeing each other. you put all your eggs in one basket so to speak, and your guy got a little weirded out after a while. seems to be going pretty well – he calls me baby, gorgeous, etc… it seemed like we were making progress.’ve been in a relationship off and on with a man for a little over 4 1/2 years now. prior to he would contact me the beginning of each week to set up a date. i texted him again apologizing if i had hurt his feelings the other night etc… and he said that no apology was necessary and that he has a lot on his plate with work, the kids, etc, and he needs time to reflect. embrace your inner goddess, have some faith in the universe that the world will turn in time for you.)…he said he didn’t want to talk about that and it wasn’t important. and that he should choose a day and commit to that day. lauren, great article but can you tell me what the difference is between a woman wanting cave time and a narcissistic bitch? are hunters and in the yr 2014 nothing has changed and never will…. i also told her during this time that i would still give her space. like we’ll just have to learn how to play the game…. i understand him being a good friend, but just recently, he told me how she made him upset when she said she wanted to “just be friends” which made me upset, because he is dating me.. if he does end up contacting in the future i will respond to this post. when it comes to matters like this, they don’t want to feel like whatever the we express, is all about them. if you go after him and want or demand an explanation, you will just push him further away. he came on a little too strong for my taste so i asked him to please give me some space: no phone calls, texts, or hang outs for a week. women should be viewed with compassion when a man hides his true agenda, uses her for sex and to feed his ego and then flees because he really wants someone younger, more attractive, etc. keep sex out of the picture for months and see if that changes anything. i let on that i like you (but not enough)…i’m not feeding into your need for validation, thus sending you running towards the hills…. and when we talked we were holding hand and went to michaels and we would give each other kisses hold each other hands and i would tell her i love you and she would say it back as well. join the list and then you can post in the relationship forum about it… you’d have to let us know what you’ve tried so far and how’s he’s reacted. of when a guy is really sweet and attentive at the beginning of a relationship, then pulls back / withdraws emotionally. i asked if everything was okay and if everything was, that if he was no longer interested that i’d appreciate he tell me. ‘equality’ and ‘feminism’ as great movements as they were, introduced much confusion into the mix. she tells me all the time that she does and feels things with me that she has never felt before and it scares her and i try to help her with them. i didn’t give him excuses, i gave valid reasons…i. just described me, and me in relationships in a nutshell. he said “not to flirt with them or anything, just to talk to those he used to know. eric, you advocate anything goes where it comes to sex, by saying that we are no longer in the 1920’s. (i started to rationalize i had been a little clingy when i was at her house, not really sure if that was true or not) haven't heard from her since and now feel i screwed up. it’s sending me on a freaking emotional roller coaster. he didn’t text me for 2 weeks and i never contacted him during this period at all. think at this point all you can do is back off completely and date others since it’s been a few days. lauren, thank you for the reply, right now i am at the point of my life when nothing seems to make sense to me. she's politely told me that she needs to get to sleep earlier in the week. but now it just seems like if i text him its nothing. i feel way more invested in this relationship and when i said that to him he said ” you are”. expect to make mistakes and expect him to pull back. meaning,you said you started looking for places to live together, but you said you can understand why he would want to date other women. he ended our relationship because he couldn’t continue to live with the way that i handled the issues with my ex (who i have a child with)..i forget about him and start to feel happy then bang! been going out with this guy for almost a year this july…. that may be hard to believe, but it’s true. i really liked him but could not tolerate that level of disrespect it upset me so much. he feels at the moment he doesn’t want to be with anyone and fight his own battles then suddenly this first time it happened, months ago… i felt like he was ignoring and got me worried cuz he wud t say a wlrd when i asked him how he was doing and all… it was anout a few days this lasted. we’re on different pages in life right now, and i just need to let it go! do you do when a girl shows interest in you, dates you, and still doesn’t want to call you her boyfriend? he went mia and pulled away from me by disappearing and blowing hot and cold. also realized how important it is to stay focused on yourself, as a girl we can become so lost because some guy hasn’t done this or said that, and then we lose ourselves. anyway, he ended up texting me a few hours before our date & said he had to get his son tonight because his ex had to work, so he apologized & asked for a raincheck. i’ve been seeing this guy for a few months now. he sent it yesterday and i have not written back or anything! shall i wait for him to contact me or if he doesn’t, means he wants to end with me? but at least he just did something that verifies “it’s not over yet”. i sms him a birthday message when he is on freakout phase? she told me that she was in for any type of relationship. she has a new friend who she messages all time and snapchats all time and has been to watch him at sport. a man becomes a man by following through, putting his money where his mouth is, or in other words he shows you consistently through actions he wants to be there and be your man. he knows that it really upsets me when he says things like that and knows i’m not going anywhere or doing anything to hurt our relationship., he comes to get me and takes me back home) he briefly hugs me and gives me a “hen peck,” and that’s literally it. also, if someone isn’t putting the effort in and you put up with that for x amount of months then isn’t that like giving them the relationship on their terms? although, i had my suspicions at first, there's no other guy. so he immediately messaged me on the dating site and after a couple of messages we exchanged numbers. and he did respond but just saying how his wkend was and how was mine but nothing about meeting up. i’ve tried really hard to give him his space and support him but realize now, especially after reading this article, that i’ve made it worse and pushed him further away. she seemed then to play the both of us about the business. i’ll admit the relationship became strained cuz of this, with 5 months of “what’s going on here” it would, but before he withdrew though, we didn’t have any problem like that. in the beginning of a relationship, we will generally try to feel out how much a woman likes us. i know this , have walked it and life does go on! think he is in the freakout phase coz we were starting to have regular contact n it was him doing it! i have been seeing this guy for abou 2 months and it’s been going really well we had been seeing eachother quite a bit but then lately with both been busy with uni and exams and other stuff so i had only been seeing him about once a week for the past few weeks which is fine because we both had been busy anyway the last time i saw him was about 6 days ago and then we spoke again the following night we were actually meant to go out for dinner but he had to cancel last minute because he had to help his friend out. when i asked about the voicemail he said he doesn’t need it . i’ve been trying to “play it cool” but it’s so hard… i never call him out for not calling or texting me back and sometimes he even apologizes for not texting when there’s no apology needed. i was married and was going through a bad marriage (my ex-husband was a control freak and was abusing me emotionally and mentally) and we ended up loving each other. i was working so i had to say no and asked him if he would be busy the folowing sunday and he said he had alot of work to get done ( a lawyer) so i said cool no problem ttyl. i understand giving a man his space, getting my own life (i do, and i’m not mad) but i think i would be a doormat if he came back and i just picked up where we left off without setting any boundaries. you should only put in as much as he does. have been in a great relationship with a man for the past two years. it makes me feel good to see him- and have him as part of my life. but every time i asked her she would make an excuse. few girls could lead a guy on because they want some drama in their own lives, or because they like getting a guy’s attention. needed please,Hello all, i am new to this site, going to try to make my ramble as short as possible as it’s kind of a long story. it’s been almost a year since all that happened and it didn’t go anywhere. the problem i am having is that she is so different then when we met. recently we returned from a vacation where we flew out to see her family. why wouldn’t he even just say we’re not back but just seeing each other right now… something? the day he was leaving we met up in the morning. i always associated being lonely as synonomous with being alone. time i was having a horrible day and he asked if i wanted a hug, told me ” i give really good hugs”. i love her with all my heart and will do anything for her. i am really confused and don’t know what to do. he said he’s busy with work, family, friends, etc. 'working' at your relationship isn't working: 3 secrets you need to get the love you want. this guy and i have been texting back and forth and talking on the phone. i told her just today how much i am hurt (even though i am the one who initiated it) and to please stop texting (even though i want her to) me because it makes me hurt more and i miss her even more. and if i continued with my life, he would find some very “bitchy” and petty ways to be hurtful. we ended it on a good note; a goodbye kiss and he said i love you and so did i. the night he comes to you to retreat (sex) you couldn’t get out of your own hurt and love him back. the question you should really be asking yourself is why are you so into him or if you’re really into him as you think you are. slept with him or slept over and messed around on the second date? i still don’t understand why he ignored my texts… i don’t know if he felt smothered or if he was upset about me canceling, which would be silly, or if it meant nothing at all! i didn't appreciate the response and replied as such, saying if she's not interested she could have just said so. another thing to check is that your guy is presumably auditive and you are kinesthetic, so you might talk in two different love languages and misunderstand each other on a regular basis. when someone walks away or withdrawals it is not our job to figure out why but give them the space to do so. to me it was like a bump in the road and let’s fix it (i was commited, i didn’t take the move in step to not put in effort) but it felt like no cooperation on the other end.. how high was your self esteem before you met him? if the guy felt inclined to express his emotions, fix things, and start spending more time together… he would. he called again and i told him ok i would go to dinner with him but i do not know when that will be. i just really would like us to continue our friendship because i enjoy his company. all of the minimizing calls, acting lighthearted – are those your genuine feelings or what you think you should do to keep things going. i strongly believe that guys won’t hear those words the same way we do. take the time to find out what it is you want. when she eventually told me, she claimed that she was leaving him very soon- for the way he treated her with a cold shoulder. i wrote an email explaining the exact situation and have wrote other facts to have in mind in her decision and to please think again with all the additional info, and finally she answered explaining this. would it be so terrible if i wanted to reach out this time, ask him to get together? hey, i’m laughing…one of the songs my friend once gave to me was called “one step at a time”. when he brings me home from a date, he walks me to the door (even when i go to his house for movies, etc. the beginning of a relationship is a big adjustment for a woman to go from being totally self-sufficient to being able to ask for help/support without depending on it. the last two weeks she changed rapidly and she wanted to spent less time with me and that she wanted to spent time with her self and to think about our relationship as she dont like to date married man etc. i'm lee, been in a relationship for 10 years now, it still has its ups and downs like any. he was all into me, he asked that we date exclusively, he texted every morning and called. would it be wrong to ask him if he is interested in me as more than just a friend? i been with someone for 2 yr i told a guy friend that married to me he wants me to be happy then the one i been seeing for two yrs said he want me to be happy i want to know if i should just move on. he replied and said absolutely he would love if i extended the invite to his mom.) he will feel trapped and suffocated and start pulling away. shoot her a text tonight that says this: "hey, just checking in to see if we're still on for tomorrow? i do sincerely care for her and just wish she says something. it’s just that i need to conserve my energy for the people who will benefit from my time, not just a small select few who want to argue with me for whatever reason. when her sister was informed and wasn’t sure about me because she did not know me, she said she would not go in without me. do not forgive or accept … at least not right away if ever! is it too much to ask that he give us some reassurance during this time? now, i use the time to really focus on myself and do what it is that makes me feel great. then an hour later he texted me and said his feelings have changed, this has to end now, i’m sorry. really want to see him again, i had so much fun with him before but i dont think he’s interested in me anymore now, even if it is for casual fun! we had out first date after two months of talking. so i leave her text to wish her good luck on her exam and now i'm still waiting and confuse and the same time..So i guess i’m just wondering what you think about the above….!Currently dating someone and he has a ton of baggage in the form of “kids! pulls away to reassert her joy in taking care of herself, her capability to fulfill her own needs, and to remind herself that she is more than just a relationship: she’s a full exciting person with lots going on and lots to fall back on should you ever pull away. anyway it’s been 3 years and he is still contacting me,i don’t know what to do,he is messing with my head so much that i can’t move on. in the situation now…she is engaged and says she loves me and did everything and now wants to be friends. it is… you can start thinking about what might be attracting him outside the relationship and start bringing that energy into your relationship. have been with mny boy friend for 2 years, we don’t live together, and i used to go down there all the time he lives about an hour away. what happened but he gets mean then says other type of things and i don’t deserve this. i replied and told him it was hard watching him moving on through facebook but i was happy to stay in touch in other ways.. we were kind of happy afterwards we hanged out and thing were kind of chill but then another problem popped out since she is an a+ med student. i hit the gym, going on dates and have accepted he dosen’t like me for whatever reason. had a separate on/off relationship for 4 years that just ended last nov. anyway, after much of this distant act he informed me that he cant do “us” right now because he has drama in his life to sort out and needs some space… but will like to keep things “open” between us! had been times when it felt like he was going to ask me out but i could see the hesitation like he was afraid of rejection. has mentioned that he hasn’t been in a relationship for about 8 years, the last one he had ended badly and i don’t mean normal kind of bad, but in court kind of bad. i would call him and he would not answer his phone and would not return my calls. he has told his friends we are dating and we have slept together several times. he told me he was hurt yrs ago and couldn’t go thru it again. this is not what a woman does for her man; this is what a mommy does for her son. [read: how to avoid the friend zone and make a girl desire you]. when he left he said he wanted me to come and visit him there and wanted to continue our relationship. came to find out later that i made her feel very special, because no one had ever loved her like i did. i also don’t understand why anybody would have the patience to deal with such an insecure person, especially because these kinds of action are just rude, but i guess we do weird things when we are confused. however since last week she's just not as being chatty, replied short answer text messages and never called me back like before. other words, i’m an american who met an italian guy (originally from northern italy) about 7 months ago. i text him 2 days later asking is everything ok, he said all good and he’s tired. read these 15 foxy signs she’s leading you on and taking you nowhere. i know the time was terrible, but he said ” i’m not ready to call you my gf yet”. there is no need to label this, or force something as everything was just going well.!As a female i must say your words are encouraging and sincere! he never specifially asked me for space but his actions sure have telegraphed it so i am doing my best to honor it! right now i’m going nuts, and i feel so stupid and used. girl you sound like a total stalker so lets face it drop the twinkie move away from the computer and actually try going after real man because your obviously stalking someone online! of course, this is dependent on all his other behaviours and how often he sees you to talk face to face… dating is a game where we face up to realities about situations, or we choose to ignore them by putting our heads in the sand like an ostrich afraid to face the truth. can i just say…i wish i would’ve read this article weeks ago? he told me he missed me and parts of the relationship we had. yes it hurts but maybe we are never fully supposed to understand. is a painfully accurate description of what i am going through with a girl right now. maybe you should also do an article or post about how to react and what to say to a guy once he does contact you again after the freak out phase. i felt like he was forcing a reply and asked something about my new apartment. so, i have stopped initializing conversations, i don’t call him or text him first, if he sends a message i reply in a lighthearted joking manner. i appreciate the compliment and i totally agree with what you’re saying. i need to mention that he is very wealthy so most probably used to women chasing him so he seems to expect that from me too,nt goin to happen. the time you spend together will be better too, since you’ll be enjoying each other’s company as a choice among many choices as opposed to being the only enjoyable choice and having no other good options. i’ve been in unhealthy relationships before and you’re right sofie, if all women just refused to be treated that way and ended things the minute we started being treated unfairly, men would stop being able to get away with that. he hadn’t even began to show signs of withdrawing up until the weekend after he met my parents. he calls every day – bothers him if i don’t return calls. just have to add that this whole waiting around thing is completely exhausting; i’m thinking “at what point is waiting enough? be his best friend, and give him the space before he asks for it. i enjoyed every minute we were together and she seemed happy i was there. i get a facebook message from him sharing an article with me. however, everyone, including her friends thought i was in my mid 20's. and i’m really not that bad with obsessing, don’t worry. he left for vacation for a whole month and barely had internet access. if you get really freaked-out and look at him like he’s a stalker, he’ll know that he’s gonna have to work a little harder to win you over. so, how can i be drastic enough in concentrating on other aspects of my life, for him to notice something’s changed and create a positive reaction in him, without being too self-focused and end up screwing things up and losing the guy? claims they are not talking to each other and thats how its going to end. that’s when i wonder, is he testing the waters or using me cuz it’s comfortable or for whatever reason? i am currently suffering from anxiety from a similar situation. i’m not going to sit around, but for me usually a date>the usual crap and first come first serve as well. i have proven the “give him room to breathe, play it cool and live your life” to be the best advice. i held back what i really had as a test. i mean why are you questioning at this stage if he’s into you or not? behavior usually feeling like a man needs to fulfill some kind of “image issue” for you or you have some sort of fear about the relationship, so you covertly try to manipulate or coerce him so that your fear is silenced or the self-image boost you get from the relationship is maintained. this past august, i told him everything and he told me a little and asked me not to torture myself by thinking about the stuff he did. next day he texted me saying he was drunk and said sorry … i really like the guy but do not want to screw it up by making wrong move. off – we’re kind of long distance right now (3 hours away) but we visit each other often. if it was for me, i would have hit the road already, but looking back, and after 4 month's, i just can't just let go so easy, even if she doesn't do anything to keep me around. we’ve been seeing each other for about four months. said since he is getting attracted to other girls he has a doubt in his mind that maybe i am not the girl, and he should go around with a few to settle this doubt in his mind. we figured out our schedules and basically due to both of us being out of town different times we wouldn’t be able to see each other for another 2 weeks… but he makes no plan for that… thoughts anyone? he couldnt find anyone in his region who is willing to do it? our schedules are so busy that…sometimes we can only meet up for dinner or lunch. i know of the mistakes and wont make it again!(i’m in pretty much the same rocky, cracked boat…lol). i know we aren't going to get back together as boyfriend and girlfriend right away but only she keep the "chance of us" open. long distance, he had a daughter, just about same story. i stink at dating and the same thing keeps happaning the 3-4 great dates and then…nothing but, i have recently picked up a book or two and am learning some of the mistakes i made. it's crazy i never expected it because she would tell me don't ever leave me i love you we would talk about kids living together she would even tell me she was excited to live with me! he just so happen to show you attention after you got out of a long-term relationship and so you jumped into this without thinking. when that happens in this dynamic, shit is gonna hit the fan. i know he has the potential to be this awesome man and partner and he has even said he has it with the right woman and tells me he’s with the one he wants to be with and says he’s happy. she tries to keep in touch with you and calls you often just to win your attention back. i decided to text him the friday after v-day telling him that it’s been a busy week and that although i’d be gone the weekend, that i would like to see him when i got back. i have not called her again nor have i text her thinking she is needing space. eric, i just wanted to thank you for encouraging me to send that message. sent the newest text last night but i didn’t respond until this morning… here’s the conversation…. i’m patient and tolerant but eventually i lost it after he stood me up one day because it was so out of character from what he normally would do….’m going on 8 months single and i couldn’t be happier knowing that mr. lauren, you should make a blog about this one :) thanks for the reply. met a trucker late 40’s on a dating site he turned out to be the biggest liar going. he wished her a “happy birthday chickie” on facebook yesterday morning and then thumbs up her thanks to everyone for the wishes.) he’s growing unattracted to you and is being passive agressive by insulting you verbally instead of telling you what is really going on. in keeping with that, i would truly appreciate your perspective on my situation. now i decided to meet with him for dinner and i ask him, what made you keep texting/calling all this time? i will disagree that asking a guy how he see you translates to looking for approval. yesterday we were texting for a little and he said “have a great thanksgiving, lets try and reconnect after”. when a man is in love, he’ll never want to push you away. he was very needy and i had no idea how to let him understand that i needed space and that i couldn't risk falling into similar dependency. he connected with my son again and yet now he has pulled totally back. have been dating for about 3 months now, it was all so good ,we promised to be together for life,we plannned on our lifestyle ,how to make money ,our home and were sharing alot . i have been seeing a guy that i know really likes me, everyone tells me soo. right now you may have to do an unselfish act and just tell him you agree and focus on you as he regains his self esteem. i had known this i may have waited but he didn’t text or respond to my call which is just plain bad manners surely?" this gives her plenty of space to be wherever she's at and she will truly be grateful. at the same time i reached out to her asked to meet up for dinners and no has been her favorite answer lately. the last text i sent was apologising for freaking out and that if he doesn’t wanna see me like that anymore i understand, i’d just rather know straight. is not clear to me is the actual conversation you had. hes ether met somebody else, he noticed something about you he did not like, he’s still playing the field. always tell myself maybe i suck in this and i get sad 🙁. i’m very scared here and hurting more than i can express. i txt him once over the weekend last week wishing him a restful weekend and no response. on our first date i say to him that i don’t date aimlessly. she’s smart knows what she’s doing and has me twisted. she is a warm, affectionate, sensitive and yes a very attractive woman who has stolen my heart! 🙂 now i will “invest” in our friendship only as much as he is investing in it so that i don’t have more (heartache) to lose if things don’t work out. it definitely was not a first date kiss (and we weren’t even on a date! but in my opinion, taking just 5 minutes to say he is busy and he’ll talk later is much better than just waiting and waiting on what his reaction would be. he says he wants to be with me but needs a break. just let me know yes or no and then text me when you're ready to hang out again. she was not good with her husband for the past 2 years and she left her country with her kids and move to my country. he’s currently in school so the arrangement was that we would not see eachother during the week and we would hang out on weekends not every weekend but most. i always like hearing that my writing here is helpful. that she needs to focus on herself without me being there. looking back over the past ten years, i feel i’ve been happiest when i’m alone. and then he sends me this text ” what if after sometime i want to get back with you but you like someone else ” i know he might be leading me on and all. she had come to love me as a very close friend, and me being in love with her made her feel very special. a lot of men do seem to prefer this, for various reasons. 1) because she is making this decision for herself and you need to trust that she knows what she needs best. flaking out usually doesn’t happen when a guy is really interested. my pt is still texting me and his text are getting more personal 😉 and in a nice way. any help would be nice im afraid of losein the best thing in my life. relax, take a deep breath and realise that you are complete: with or without a man. fast forward to last week, everything was fine, i know she been busy between work, family and friends, but then she started to text and call less and now unexpectedly she has not returned my call/texts in a few days. of course, as i said, this is all really recent that this has taken place so maybe he’s still hesitant to jump into any form of commitment status but i don’t want to be playing house at his convenience, where he plays the “single” card when it suits him. also seems like he’s insecure around you, are you sure you want that? i know it sounds mad but i feel ive known him year’s and have some sort of feelings for him but we haven’t met yet. did i screw it up by being too pushy after he asked for time? is there an assumption that i must go at his pace and why is there an assumption that it’s ok for him to be nice to a girl for a month and then withdraw for a month and blame her that she’s sensitive if she gets upset that he pulled away? then i felt like he took advantage of my weakness and started contacting me less and less. if it can not be or is not reciprocated they will quickly be over that person. a wake up call for me as i’m going through the same situation. but how far things go in bed or whether both of you would even make out on a date completely depends on her mood and her plans. sometimes, he only talks about sexual things with me and how much he’s attracted to me sexually. top it all, she is doing almost all of the points in this article. i understand because no one knows what the future is., that was about a month ago, and then i got a message from him on sunday out of the blue asking how i’m doing and lots of questions about my life…i was surprised to hear from him because it was around midnight on a weekend, and i know he is on vacation right now, so it seemed like an odd time for him to contact me. have to say from experience (both sides of this fence) that i have seen what eric is talking about in this post first hand. i met this girl for month's ago, we had a 1 week relationship and broke up.” like he lost romantic feelings… ok, so i waited for a month feeling confused as to what i did and what had happened. this article made me realize that such girls do exist. after doing some research, i discovered that her depression and her actions made total sense! i feel stupid though, because if he doesn’t reply (like he didn’t the last time i was in town) then i open a wound for myself (he doesn’t know this) that has been closed.. i could be wrong but those are just my thoughts. is there anyway or trying to ask the same question again about meeting up without sound too desperate/keen? if im going to be honest i think im starting to like him more now when initially all i wanted was some harmless fun and nothing more, nothing less. the two of you seem to concentrate on very different needs and have very different values. i were to guess, it sounds like you are not entirely happy as things are and you see being with him as a chance at happiness. i’ve talked to countless psychologists, dating counselors, dating coaches and dating advice writers. she earned her ma in writing and publishing and her ma in women and gender studies from depaul university/chicago. am i wasting my time thinking about him so much? but you do know the relationship was a lost cause already, don’t you? i told her that i wasn't sure i wanted to be married so soon after my divorce is final. we had so much fun together, and it felt like we were teenagers. have great communication, that includes lots of eye contact that remains in focus during the whole conversation, as well as just gazing into each others eyes without a word as one of us will walk past the other one. and make a conclusion whether to proceed or end the relationship. he’s just come out of a long term relationship and has a son to think of. i said ur stress takes over ur mind then u may be fine again. he goes out of state sometimes to hang out with her and another guy, and i recently found out that his friends made a bet with each other which led to her kissing him and he felt bad about it. since we didn’t have a relationship, should i have just waited for him to spring back?, mia, i am in the same exact situation as you are right now.” he said one time that he “doesn’t know how fast to go…” to which i replied that i’m in no hurry and don’t have a problem taking time. after we got back we cuddled on the couch and the whole date he kept saying how cute i was and he liked my personality. 211 shares share what sex is like in real life: a man’s perspective. this is very low pressure on him so if he cant answer right away it will definitely get him thinking. a few days later her ex partner unexpectedly came to see her and she told him that things were definitely over. he asks why, he was being sweet, well i let my insecurities out and mentioned he added some hot chick to fb and it shouldn’t bother me, we’re friends. my girlfriend and i started dating about 7 months ago in november. we had a lovely night and i thought nothing more of it and was looking forward to seeing him again. met a man on line; instant chemistry, talking for hours etc., how many freak out phases is he allowed to have? he apologized again and said he does not want anything from me but to have dinner and laugh and then he will go home. articulate, easy to read, and just full of common-sense into the psyche of a man. why sit around and wait for him and give up your own self-esteem and power to some guy? there was very minimal texting the next day, but since then nothing. they need someone ready and willing to help them open up more (of course they have to be ready and willing to give intimacy a whirl and that may be the more difficult challenge). i have been using all of your advice but it just hasn’t seemed to help i mean i’ve done everything i’ve commented on all his writings which i love but i can’t help like he serves me up a giant serving of rejection! he is amazing and i don’t want to lose him for forever. :-)" this way you respect her space by not asking for anything (she hates saying no to you) and you have clearly let her know that you are still interested even though she wants to take things slow (the danger in not texting her at all is that she could misunderstand and think you are no longer interested.. and thought that would be the last i would see him and made contact with him. i’ve got a new e-mail lined up for tomorrow that i’m really excited to send out. if only iv read this before …yes, he is very cold and i thot he lost interest in me anymore but then he iv found out he did not. later monday he didn’t reply or anything and then on tuesday he said “i’m so stressed cuz i got paid and now i only have literally no money in my account cuz i had to owe ppl money frm the past and help grandma. now you wanted advice on how to get him back, but you can’t make him want to be with you. we had great conversations and we enjoyed each other’s company. i love your articles very eye-opening, and blunt; which is a breath of fresh air!’ve been working with this guy in my department for about 9-10 months now.

My girl has pulled away, what does this mean?

any chance he gets to start up a conversation, he does so and often times it feels like it’s just the 2 of us in the room. then we just texted very briefly with him calling me a nerd & me calling him a weirdo. he was so sweet and sent me flowers and called/texted/emailed while he was out of town. more than likely will go to dinner next week if he gives me at least a day’s notice. i on the other hand have already gave my notice, and so will move forward moving in this weekend. he apologized if he hurt me but i shouldn’t judge fb as real life. i think quit texting him already, as he has given you the answer you need for now: that he’s not really interested. ladies it’s all a game to them about whoever cares the less don’t be week and give in let him regret it, let him wonder and show him you that even though he giving you the silent treatment women and do it better treat them mean keep them keen., there are guys that may in fact have realized what they lost, but it doesn’t mean they’ll change permanently. am saying you should actually have other things going on in your life that you’re focusing on. he doesn’t make any effort in the relationship, i feel as though i’m the one who contacting him first all the time recently. we just recently hooked up for the first time after a night where she called me crying to come over to her but then she says she doesn’t want me to get the wrong idea and started being distant the next few days. she flirts with you, goes out on dates with you, but doesn’t give the relationship a name. the morning of, he text me “are you sure you want me to come” and then asks “is this a set up”…seriously wtf? most men pursue a women initially b/c of the physical attraction, that’s perfectly fine, but it’s her job to make him realize she’s not just a pretty face. we sorta got things back on track over the past month, but she completely went off the radar again this week without any warning.” now that i know how a man perceives what i did, i know it was the wrong thing to do.’ and get all excited, then he knows you’re really into him. the next day i hung out with her before taking her to the airport (ny again for a week) but we had a great time. i just think he expects me to start blowing up his phone saying no please don’t ignore me too ! when he dropped me off that night he warned me that he had finals coming up and would be very busy the next week. is this just a easy way to push me away, prior to calling it quits? i texted him friday night saying i hadn’t heard from him in a week and asking if everything was ok, he responded with “haha, heyyyyy! i also think it’s quite cool how he consistently made his answers both specific and general, to reach more a broader scope of scenarios and people. as well, how do i respond to it to ensure he’s not just using me without it seeming confrontational or freaking him out? but then again, i do want someone i can show my true colors to. it's like she wants to have her cake and eat it too. which left me feeling like this move is not a good idea. i want to feel valued and appreciated, and i am not interested in anything that is not moving toward a relationship eventually. don’t want to mess things up, but i don’t want to be used. but how long should i let the freak out phase go on? i could be the one that stabs her in the heart but i think i’ll play the game to the bitter end… after all men do the same thing.! i tried to call him but no answer so i sent him a break up message it was very kind and friendly said he was a great guy but i felt the ‘shift’ and did not understand it so i was going to start dating again… which i will. i haven’t called or txd him or anything for the passt 5 weeks its been hard when he txd me that the folowing week i had my exams starting so i was a mess! yourself a favor and talk to him about what’s really going on. and somehow we need to be complementary harmonies to each other in order to have mutual, healthy relationships. ok, now, she has retreated on me twice the first time saying after the first date the intensity she felt overwhelmed her and scared her. then all of a sudden i was drained of all of my essence like one of those podlings in the dark crystal. nobody can change another person – only the person him/herself can change him/herself – if that person is willing to change. i figure it’s a bad start to a relationship and i cant handle this stress. met this guy in february and we were just friends, but then he starts asking me how i feel about him and he finally said he loved me. i have been seeing this guy for 3 years and we started off right after i got out of a really bad relationship so we agreed that it would be casual. accepted another invitation for thanksgiving, and now i stopped contacting him., what if you’re in a relationship with a guy, and then after about 6 months you tell him you love him (because he gave you all the signs he felt the same way) and his response is to completely freak out, withdraw, and a week or so later say “its all too much too fast” and he breaks up with you. can blame guys all you want and say what guys should do and how quickly and ruthlessly you’ll drop him… but… is that attitude bringing you happiness in your relationships? a relationship is superficial and ends, you miss the sex first, then the person. another example if a boyfriend is what you want, but he’s still being wishy washy say something to the effect of how you enjoy his company but you’re not looking for a fwb/make out buddy, you’re looking for a long term relationship/boyfriend at this point in your life (see how you didn’t say that bf needs to be filled by him in particular? i love this woman, i want it to work, but we hardly talk and only exchange texts, i have an opportunity at a great job where she is but i am scared that she will reject me again. hope he figures out that she really is just looking for an early retirement plan. i think that’s just evil and at least to myself it speaks volumes about how he thinks i’ll be sitting around waiting for him like he’s some greek god and i’m a mere mortal with no other options..its hard to accept but this is what is happening with me!. but it doesnt fix how the damage in my heart! he’ll eventually get complacent, and will focus on himself/his child. to give the other person the benefit of the doubt and focus on your own happiness and fulfillment. he has a place he could go until i move but he won’t go, he wants to live here but is gone a lot) so that’s been a challenge in itself in this situation but i kinda find that if he thinks i am shifting into “move on mode” he seems more attentive/more communication or if he thinks i think he doesn’t love me or care or ever did or whatever, he has to contest it. they look for widow, separated ladies or one’s that have self esteem issues. long distance boyfriend whom i haven’t met yet personally asked me to send my naked picture. and think about it, how many times have you wanted to spend your free time with someone who you are just starting out with who is living a crappy life? eric, i want to know do you have book out? when a girl is leading you on, she knows you’d behave like a lost puppy and trail her even if she likes another guy.. a few days past and l didn’t hear form him so l text him and he told me we should slow down… we should be friends for a now. my guy has feelings for me i know and they are definitely mutual. i’m trying not to be insecure but why does this have to be one sided? i recently told her that i'm not going anywhere, that i am forever hers. at this point, things are probably starting to get comfortable- you make plans regularly, you’re in contact more frequently, and a relationship seems just around the corner. he didn’t live with anyone or no lengthly commitment between the bad break up and me etc.. for some reason she didn't trust me, she would always make this comments of how i would sweet talk to her so i could just have sex with her. i found a beautiful cute princess and we got attracted from the first moment, we texted much we talked much and had incredible conversations full of content and culture, she considered me her mentor (i am older), she did not have the problem of me being married as she told me she was very open minded, but from the beginning i explained that i was having problems at hom.! so she lets little things you do get on her nerves so that she can justify her bitchiness, which in turn pushes you away. test him and see if he writes again or just reply briefly saying something like “cool’? a couple of days later, he reached out to me on facebook… then i emailed him something light, and he emailed me back using a pet name and saying he was looking forward to seeing me when he got back. he blocked me on gmail again, which whatever i do not care, he has done that about 5 times since we broke up 2 months ago. she doesn't want to waste her time with me thinking that she will be more hurt when i leave. he wanted me to go with him and his son to a movie on friday night but he asked me that day and i sort of had a lot of things to do… so now he’s all super quiet. he also doesn’t seem to want to do anything with me. (or whatever similar, not exact words)’ because i need to know if i should just go out with the girls instead or something. they understand much of the world around them through their senses (sight, sound, touch, smell and taste).– thursday comes, he didn’t write much when i asked how is he. what do you suppose his reasons are for continuing this pattern incessantly? it will be real when both of you are convinced that you like each other and you both “drop the mask” and start acting like yourself, fully. would not go out to dinner with him, if men don’t learn that their actions have permanent consequences, how will they ever change their behaviors? after the thing he said about not having money for 2 weeks, he acted different. life is a game and we must all play to win, i know, but sometimes i just want to be real. the first time i totally ignored it then he did it again and i totally freaked too! while i can’t say i won’t continue to query what fun reasons there may for why x or y is being especially boneheaded, i will say that your relating words of advise definitely put a good check on my “mental indulging” (or obsessing, whatever). it’s not anger (though i do find it annoying to have to continually make this point to the same people again and again).. this isn’t to “let the guy off the hook” or passively accept a situation. want to reconcile start considering his needs and wants too regardless of what is going on in your life because he seemed to have handled your woes for you. the kind of man who does not show feelings too much, likes to control things and likes a certain routine in his life. he texted me inviting me to red lobster and i said okay. she is perfectly happy with her secrets and wants them to stay that way. i always knew in the back of my head he could be the one if i let go of my fear (of a nice guy i know – crazy…) anyway a few weeks ago his frequency of texts slowed down, i must have forgotten he has his own life and is busy – because after a few drinks he did text me hello for the day – but i end up telling him he confuses me. [read: 20 dirty questions to ask a girl and make her wet]. we never want to believe it us personally suffering from the guy that is ‘not that into us’, but it’s a harsh reality and a good medicine, best taken sooner rather than later..Fell18, if the girl has made it clear that she wants you to pursue and contact her than that's exactly what you should do. she is the creator of mile high mating, a website dedicated to helping people "do it" in denver and beyond. thank you so much for sharing that – it’s so heartbreaking that everyone is walking around thinking people are “playing games” with them. 6 hours later and nothing…guess he’s just waiting for me to end it…. but if he takes a step back and acts distant, take a step back yourself…. he’s everything i have ever wanted in a guy and we’ve both been hurt so badly before do we both have trust issues. it’s completely acceptable for her to like another guy, but when you do the same or talk about another girl, she pretends like she’s not interested in hearing what you have to say.[read: 12 easy signs to know just how much a girl likes you]. he started transitioning to a new position at work last friday while continuing to do his current job and finding a replacement for him.  is it appropriate and healthy for the relationship if she indicates she needs time apart from the relationship to take care of herself? if he runs down all his ex’s maybe it’s him and not them? she talks about me to her parents and friends they say were like an old married couple but this is exaxtly how she treats the relationship and this is exaxtly how i feel, really confused.. we hanged out every once in a while although from the very beginning she told me she thought of me as i was just "playing" with her. i am so happy to hear you say that – what a huge load off my mind. she told me a saturday night came over and told me that right now she needs time to herself. we usually talk 2-3 times a day and now i am lucky if we just talk once a day. it has always been a sign of progress in my relationships, where the guy can no longer maintain the status quo and be satisfied., i’m afraid that if i back off too much and play it too cool, that he’ll end up thinking that i lost interest in him altogether and end up losing him. things were going great, perhaps moved a little fast (3rd base).. he couldn’t make advance plans, didn’t seem to know what he wanted etc etc. 6) she was totall into me, even teasing me that all her girlfriends were jealous of her for finding someone like me. i work during the day and i am getting my masters at night. accept this behavior, get married and then realize they married a guy who does not respect them and thought they would put up with this treatment. i think for guys to avoid having to feel rejected by a woman needing space (this also works for women, too) is that a couple should purposefully schedule in time away from each other. within a few minutes of stating his love for me, he says his struggle is giving up his freedom (something he has really enjoyed). i told her i understand it may or may not happen. is the key ladies:remember, a guy is only as invested in you as the effort he puts into the relationship. im suffering every moment in my heart,and that is out of my control. but when she’s bored or alone, she behaves like she misses you so much and can’t stop thinking about you. the questions is… do i hold onto hoping he’ll come back around or do i say this relationship is a lost cause? would only be a problem if his response (or lack thereof) caused you some sort of emotional reaction. we had a great time, talked for hours, and both had the best kiss of our lives (exact words coming from his lips).. how high would you like your self esteem to be? then one night he got drunk and i got text at 2. the men i know dont operate the way we do. today he seemed fine again but after work he’s been acting the same as yesterday. articles for women,Relationship tips for women,410 comments… add one. when will i know that he’s just stringing me along or not? i expressed how i felt to her the other day , i'm worried about our relationship , your snappy miserable never want do anything together when i suggest things . i dont want him to come around and have sex with me or go out without him seeing me as a “future” prospect. clue that i need to pull away and have time for myself is that i get irritated by small things that my boyfriend does or i have an excessive neediness for his attention and affection or an extra sensitivity (hurt feelings, insecurity) when i’m not getting exactly what i want from him. have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 6 years, everything has been great until last year he has not see me at all, because of the hard time he is going through. he was even talking about marriage and kids in the first week! should i continue being the 'infatuated guy' i was the last 4 weeks? i just recently found out he has been texting a girl from there and he got defensive when i questioned him. so in my mind we ended three months ago, he’s probably clueless to how mad and hurt i am and i try so hard to move on but it stings to have a guy make you fall for him and now he doesn’t seem to have any intention of keeping me. at this particular time she does have to figure some things out for herself and my initial response was we could do that together! guy, at 7 months of dating, told me, he did not want a relationship. the truth is, most people (men and women) have good intentions but bad habits.’s awesome – glad to hear that this site has been helpful for you. i date other guys but never like anyone enough to go into relationship. sure there’s hope – some guys freak out because they’re afraid that they’ll lose freedom or they’re afraid of what would happen if they commit.. again he told me he had a rough day at work and his boss is asking him to do overtime again. her daughter babysat for his son and daughter-in-law and he said that i probably took care of that when she found out i was here. he says he loves me and would never cheat but i am just confused and no one to talk too. great relationships can’t survive on valentine’s day efforts alone. i’ve always kept a pact that while i’m in my uni studies, i’d never date a guy, give him the time of day, or care about the ‘dating scene’. is it advise able to send him text or email telling to bring it back? could be happy, live a full life that you enjoy (independent of the relationship) and do/say whatever you want in the relationship but don’t need him to respond a certain way. so we talked and he said i’m amazing and all that crap but he’s not letting his heart beat and he doesn’t know why. if it's meant to be, you'll find each other again. he went back to the states and called me 4 or 5 times a week for long conversations, as well as texts saying he missed me etc. i mean he was introducing me to his friends right away and seemed like he really wanted to get to know me. this is why questions are important its simply involving his point of view not seeking approval. [read: 12 signs a girl is just using you for all the wrong reasons]. know the saying the perdictor of future behavior is past behavior but we all live and learn.” i was shocked to say the least and couldn’t have been more confused. and while i waited, i focused on myself, doing my thing and not obsessing. he texted me at 1am and said sorry & asked me to come over. she didn't want to give up on me, i don't know why, but it happens that we started a more serious relationship almost two week's ago. so we had a day date and then hung out the next night. however, from time to time, he withdraws, i believe due to insecurity. he does call me once a day after his work day but should i want to call or text him i cannot reach him or get a response. i thought they were really brilliant and could help other people going through the same thing. we got on really well and were very attracted to each other, and now, 2 weeks since he ended it, he is fliritng with me on facebook again. could his feelings have changed that quickly or is he just trying to push me away bc he needs his time? but then i tell him i love him and he responds without telling me back. as i said i work with him, so sometimes he does pass my office asking me the why question. lauren, first time reader here but i am very impressed with your insight and advice to others. great thing is, when i focus on myself and making myself happy, even if the guy decides he doesn’t want to move forward with me, i’ve been too happy and fulfilled to even care. she even talked about doing future projects together and traveling.! lol i will not have a crazy woman moment with this man! when a guy says things like, ‘i’ve never liked a girl so much after only a few dates’ or he texts you saying he misses you when you barely know each other, he doesn’t really mean it. she has been looking for a new direction to take her career and we've talked about her joining up with my business, learning some new skills and eventually developing into a professional in the same industry. am a big fan of your advice and think that this article is really spot on. i never told him this, but i love him, and i really felt like he was the one for me. basically said that he cant make it and that we can spend the weekend together,i was really upset but tried to compose myself and just responded with okay”. don’t take it personally – it doesn’t mean they don’t love you… sometimes guys just have hangups they need to work through. he was telling me how much stress he was facing during the last biz trip and i listened and comforted him. went back home for 2 weeks 2 get help with my work from my previous tutor …. i told him i thought we were having a good time together & he should’ve told me if he felt differently. is a great website and learn a lot from here. my biggest concern is that he’s going to take this age thing too seriously (it’s only 4 years). he called me back said she would be ready after work for me to pick her up. as you are going out with him, it is easier to ask what he wants exactly with you. when we where together the last time, things where great up until one day, we had our first disagreement and we never recovered. and why does he continue to break off our thing every so often when things are getting good. this friday is my last exam… than uni is over well for 4 months…. but when you are happy, content and fulfilled just by yourself, you save yourself from ever falling into a “co-dependent” relationship (a relationship fueled by each other’s insecurities), you never have to worry about settling for someone (because you know you can choose a person and that you don’t *need* a person) and you will never act needy (because you’re content, you’ll naturally give that person the space to find their own contentment). the fact is that sometimes they do indeed need to be called out, or asked for clarification. i was getting more and more miserable because i didn’t believe his excuses. 2) should i do no contact with her and not be there for her? i broke up with him, but he said he is not breaking up with me and he is with nobody and he still loves me if i dont mind. certainly not over night but he is not going to receive your words right now. everything was going fine and very blissfull untill she started acting weird and 'avoiding me'( when i logged in on fb and she was already online, she would go offline, and not cool stuff like this). i never cheated on him and have been completely honest and upheld my end of what we both agreed to. i will echo the other comments here and say i was truly fascinated after reading your article. i am utterly confused and care deeply for her (i know she feels the same toward me) and do not want to lose. however, if i had done things his way, might have worked out. he always has been extremely good to me, and i could always tell he really cared about me. has she gone into her cave or should i just give up and let her be? you said about most people not being “manipulative or creepy enough to play games with other people” is truly enlightening., if you need clarification then do yourself the favor and ask your male friend “how does he see you..since he already knows that i am madly in love with him…but he also makes comments that we are not onthe same page,,meaning that he has other obligations,,3 daughters,,traveling alot with his job,,but that he like me alot…help? he has a cell phone that does not have the voice mail set up so cannot leave a message. we ended up having sex again and in middle of it we said l love you to each other. and then he tells me he misses me because hes sonused to talking to me. for some guys, if you don’t ask them, they don’t feel the need to tell you. then she attempted to see if she could get back with me. he has described his feelings for me… “like his very first relationship. with that said…you can always buy him a snazzy tag…make it thoughtful and leave it at his doorstep if its accessible. i_love_audrey_hepburn,In any case you are probably right. it also probably wouldnt help that my friend tricked me into writing one i thought was for someone els with my name and number on it saying dear random person, but she put it in his bag right infront of him with me standing there, so i really dont know what to do …. “i really hope you find a great job…and find the right guy for you. i’m really confused and don’t want to be a fool here and won’t put up with that if he’s just playing around. i stop messages him and i9 don’t even call him not even once until now. gf and i wen out, he texted me saying happy bday; sorry i cudnt make it better. since he has asked what are my thoughts on moving if this turns into something awesome down the road.! he did call as promised this morning but then indicated he was on his way out the door and would call later. so we have been together for just under 1 year (7 days to go) now we just finished our university exams and things have been stressful especially on her i think. so i bought into it and went over and spent the night. i really like this girl, and i'm trying to give her space, but not sure what is going on? do you stop hearing from him because he sees you without makeup and in a jogging suit one day? i really try my best to give value with these articles, so comments are always appreciated. he said there’s nothing he could do about me not believing him. in answer to your question, i think the note is fine. if this is the case you have to really consider this relationship – emotional control is a hard one to live with. plus we were so in love and then it was like all of a sudden he withdrew. when we started talking way before he already told me his not aftraid to be alone that kinda worries me but i didnt pay much attention abt it. and trying to shove his kids down my throat and accept his whole situation within a month of knowing each other and telling me how much he wants me in his life and on and on and on… and i’m like holy crap give me two minutes to catch up and decide if i like you and want to take on your brady bunch arrangement and alter my whole life and social life to be in something with you… well i guess i didn’t respond fast enough, thus did not validate his whole situation within the time frame that was acceptable to him, plus i liked him a lot and wanted us to develop our relationship first before introducing the whole kid scenario (god it’s only been a month! it was the only way i could get her out of my head. he acts busy, consider picking up more hobbies and plans without him so that you don’t feel you’re waiting for him and he’s always trying to fit you into his schedule. i do love her fact is i am madly in love with her but when confronted with the game of hot, cold i can only do one thing. for the first year, he was very sweet saying much of things that were posted in your blog…even began talking about marriage and moving in together. this point, the danger lies in becoming dependent upon her partner’s love for her. he is so tired when he’s home he will text me always, possibly call or video chat (if he’s home early enough. we became very very close, and she knew i loved her but she blew hot and cold continually. he told me we shouldn’t see each other anymore because he could feel my tension on our last date. i’ve seen a lot of couples decide to be “officially” bf and gf 4 to 6 months in.. attempt to flirt but nothing too suggestive (no sexual innuendos at all). if he wants to keep you, he tries to… instead of just taking you for granted when he knows you’re not going anywhere.’s hard to tell from the small amount of information i have given you, but this guy has been anything but happy or content with being by himself, or as he calls it alone. as time passed and greater opportunity opened up for her with the dog training she realized that her 6 month stay was looking more like 1-2 years. i have a gut feeling he might, but he is very arrogant and probably too proud to ever admit he was wrong to end things…. the main idea is that if you are needy, you will erode your relationship. he went to vietnam 3 months ago and i was supposed to join him in next 10 months. :-)" the no response necessary part releases any pressure she might feel to write you back a "thank you" if she's still not in a place where she wants to connect. that is why ‘he’s just not that into you’ is seriously the best book out there for women to read. he text me to ask me out which he has never done before. was so humiliating that i told him that even though i don’t want to stop talking to him completely and we can remain friends, i was going to distance myself and not make any further plans to see him, that i thought both wanted to see each other and now he was making it look like i was pushing him. he once again told me he was very busy and after work didn’t feel like doing anything but vegging. you want to leave your old husband and start a new life whereas he wants just a partner with whom he can spend some fun time with. this is what he claimed, of course, after i informed him a few days ago that i was nearby at my friend’s place. i wonder if this guy i broke it off with will take note of his folly and apologize or if he’s just another ship passing in the night? he said she’s just a friend and when i asked him to stop talking to he he said he would and didn’t and just lies to me about it. after that, he has just invited me over his house. you’re wishing that your man/partner/boyfriend/husband was doing more to make you feel special, loved, appreciated, sexy - you’re going to love this free video class:Why “working” at your relationship isn’t working: 3 secrets you need to get the love you want. before you begin, but i don’t know or you don’t know what he did, yes i do. my bf and i started out wonderful always communicating making time for each other. laruen, unlike any other articles, this one is actually giving some positive and advantage of having a break.” i left while he was at work and drove back to id. do you really think i should contact him yet again to find out what’s going on? after a year i was done, and had to tell myself she was the devil woman that sir cliff richard sung about. but as soon as i started giving him attention and talking about myself and asking about him, it just seemed unimportant and he’d go away, or even talk about another girl or bring her to my house without saying anything, when he was the only one invited. if he isn’t investing , there is no sense in investing in him. went off to unpack and take a shower and we ordered in and everything was normal. and i felt i had every right to keep my options open, but apparently he didn’t. she says i want them all the time that shes not ready for that. i panicked and text him babbling on asking am i waiting for something or nothing. the girl went to mexico (planned before we were dating) with a girlfriend and returned yesterday afternoon.. she hates the distance between us and hates the town she and her little girl lives. you like the posts here, then make sure you get on the anm dating newsletter because i give away my best stuff there (plus it’s more interactive between me and our readers). so, remember go to an aquarian when looking for a logical way to solve an issue, not just to vent. i just wanted to put enough information into this so people could have information to base their opinion on. we have great chemistry/connection, and share many things in common. he comes back, we see eachother and it was great. real glad to have her tag-teaming the forum with me. it will mean a lot to me for your advice. i’m glad that you’re well, don’t forget about me down here! just so the rest of you can see how this saga turned out. if i really wanted 2 do that i would have through it before he left the room! and if the manipulation even worked i would at least understand… but it doesn’t… there’s no evidence supporting it in this day and age – it is a cultural myth and misconception, and you’re keeping it alive.. i asked him if im stressing him or if i did anything wrong.” meaning, he can still find other people attractive but it doesn’t mean he will give up the girl he’s with. because i couldn’t face the same possible mess i declined her, but today i wonder if she came to see me as the one for her, or if she just wanted more attention. i ask him if he doesn’t want to be with just to tell me instead of dragging it on and causing more pain. eric i have a question for you that i haven’t really gotten an answer from my bf,we had a long distant relationship for a year and during the last months he started to change but then things seem to have worked out and i thought we were cool again. it was short, he basically just said he was out of town. i feel like he thinks if we have a relationship he’ll have to give it up. stop making excuses why he is or isn’t asking you out. but when you do that you can still end up getting hurt anyway as some of them will just take advantage, string you along, play you and use you. and i was resistant because i have a hard time trusting.,i am not texting him that much though it hurts me so bad deep inside. i have met his friends & his son (in a casual environment). i just packed my things and now its five months i havent gone to his place again. posted on this blog months ago and i have learned a lot from my previous feelings., lets clear some things up here, we didn’t have sex on our second date, though i can see how what i said could be misinterpreted in that way. after a few minutes of just standing around awkwardly he did it. we both go to school together, so occasionally i see him around campus. reason she's so bitchy about pulling away is because she doesn’t yet understand this need or her alarm system. soon as i decided this and started being friendlier on our dates–he began to withdraw. i only speak from experience and after spending 18 years with nothing but men what translates to “looking for approval” is actually when we go with the flow or ask questions specific as in…do you think im pretty or smart or even seek a compliment. appreciate when he does have time he does spend it with me, but recently in the last 3weeks i feel as though he’s withdrawing. so athough you think he should know your heart…he also feels you should know his needs. i ignore the calls but he continues to call so i answer and he wants to know how i am and if i am seeing anyone and if i would go to dinner with him. you see this happening pretty frequently, where she ignores you when she’s getting a lot of attention from other guys. everything was going fine and very blissfull untill she started acting weird and 'avoiding me'( when i logged in on fb and she was already online, she would go offline, and not cool stuff like this). most likely won’t like what you’re about to read but here goes. he used to call me back al lthe time, and before i went to bed to say good night he used to always tell me he loved me, and missed me and wanted me. he want to be only friends and just want some time off contact to forget me?, you blew it, you had your chance and you watch that ship sail…sorry to be so blunt. and there’s a big chance that she’d walk away from you for good. so many actions i did i thought was supposed to tell him i love him but now i guess it only told him i was needy…but shouldn’t men keep their vows to love and support their wives and be there for them instead of accusing them needy and obsessed? the last time we were together everything was as usual & he talked about getting together again. i felt very clear about what had happened, and eventually he did come to me. it started as friends just meeting for drinks and talking. up to his going out of town he became more distant.’t actually assume a female isn’t unterested in you because she’s detached somewhat. really am on the hook, dang and i just saw an episode on himym and yeah, great day, lol., when a guy thinks that he could potentially lose you to another guy… suddenly he makes the decision very quickly on going out with you. doesn’t know she’s been going out with me for so long. i have been fine with that as i am a busy girl anyway. he left on thursday, and i found out on saturday when i asked what he was doing.. so for my own closure, i sent him a text along the lines of: okay, i get it, good luck with work, get well soon. we really use to talk every couple of days, spent every weekend together and on the days we didnt talk a few txt back and forth…. we have completely hit it off, to the point, last month we talked of moving in together. last weekend was my birthday and he went mia all weekend (after he told me he loved me friday night! the tone of the relaitonship was set up already for you to be a booty call since you jumped into bed too quickly. i need a little advice on a situation with a friend that is kind of similar to what you were discussing. they’d make you sign a contract where you agree to pay them monthly. for most guys, if they feel something unpleasant, they avoid the feeling altogether. this is coming from a girl that smoked my pole the first time alone. from my experience, this shows a lack of focus, integrity, not to mention maturity, and i would give this sort of man a wide berth. we were both crazy about each other from day one. he would text me every morning and he was kind and loving but now its been 4 days that i haven’t heard from him.. the only time he is romantic, is when we are in bed.. deleting his number, him as a fb friend, email, no happy birthday ect. he will get the point, his random lazy texts are a cheap attempt/ reassurance to himself that he has control of your emotions. iv had bad relationships twice been cheated on 3 times know the signs and i'm that w. as an aquarian in a relationship i have to say this is spot on.’s not about you waiting, it’s about you being occupied and fulfilled enough that you aren’t crushed when he’s unavailable for some reason. when i ignore her completely she gets really upset and i just feel bad, but when i get too clingy she starts to act different. told me to give him a missed call anytime i want to go out or do anything. i believe in god, committment, and faithfulness as well as loyalty to my partner. the day before yesterday i didnt write her for 4 hours a message and she texted me , how are you? a heart to be used not only for unfullfilling relationships with lack of love and filled with arguments but for everybody – including yourself. i use my ‘busy-ness’ to test guys, so i know if they will be whining and whimpering to see me all the time, or if they can do their own thing.’he doesn’t want me t worry about him when he’s stress and then he says things that makes me feel like i’m a horrible gf and he said i’m not.’s say that he was flirting with a girl out there. sometimes question my choices, i think about you often, you made such an impact on my life. i have talked to a dozen people and they said that cuz i sold the vehicle the warranty doesn’t transfer. they are definitely not afraid to be a leader when it comes to alternative thinking. then, you’re letting him have control of where the relationship is going. you can also leave a funny note that is very short and personal that says i messed up but gotta love me. we have plans for the future plans to go to mexico over the summer. i decided to just call it quits because i did not appreciate the sudden changes in his behavior and attitude. he seemed really bothered by something and i kept asking what was wrong, but he simply continued to say ‘nothing’ repeatedly. my bad i ain’t say anything, it’s just me. i’m going to meet with one of the pastors from our church this coming week hopefully so i know for sure that what i’m thinking is right and will know if it’s not. i wish i had read it a few days ago my date/boyfriend that i had been seeing clearly went into the ‘freak out’ stage. like us on facebook twitter pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. the advice i’m giving you is what was given to me. so basically i turned her into a dog on heat for a year, and she soaked up all my love and was struggling to find someone special to let it all out on, hence feeling vulnerable. with this is: when you fixate on a guy/relationship to give you something (fill a void, confidence, companionship, inspiration, etc. he told me he felt like he wasn’t making me happy, when it was me that was not making me happy. don’t focus on your partner, remain focused on you. let’s say we are happy together we don’t argue or fight sure we have our little disagreements, we have a great sex life. how do i help him realize that i do care?

10 Ways Men Blow Their Dating Opportunities

9 Tips on Dating an Aquarius. | elephant journal

i was his first girlfriend as his marriage was fixed by his parents..he loses his temper on more then he does on anyone. i am heartbroken, i am already dealing with my pup’s death and now i feel like he is ending things with me. not looking for a real relationship, but not wanting to screw every guy in town either. on the other hand if he did not by now – maybe he is just not that into me? nothing wrong with that, it is just a huge challenge for you to be with that kind of person – as you are a huge challenge to him. just wanted to thank you for your website and all of the insight that you provide as a man. he also said he doesnt have time to have gf now and thats what we become basically. we talked, and she said that she had for a moment thought to go back with her ex, but that she doesn't want to. i had met a guy over month 1/2 ago spending almost everyday together and he pursued me as far as calling and txt’ing.” if he wants to know why just tell him you are curious. he lies to me about these women and whatever other ones because i’m convinced they aren’t the only ones. but it was the last minute calls n then he went mia until the day after my bday. i am dating a guy in the freak out stage and while i would love to text him and tell him every crazy thought going through my head right now i know i’d only lose him. is he just keeping his stuff at my place, and keeping my keys to keep me on a bookshelf? he agreed but then 3 days into the week, he texted me. we had a date a few days ago and it went great.’s safe to say i was w r o n g. really would appreciate your response beacause you’re not addressing the whole story and i think people are looking for that answer. i texted him saturday and asked if he wanted to hangout that night, no response. i like your responses so i am hoping you have a book out or can you recommend any great books. matter how perfect it seems, mistake #1 was moving in together after only 5 months. live in the uk and i have to say that this is the best web site i have found that deals with things in a way that makes absolute complete sense, straight forward and clearly from a man who knows what he is talking about…its great. fill yourself up and don’t *need* him to do it for you (by texting you back or giving you attention or anything else…). so every time he flakes on you, your world falls apart because he’s your one shining beacon of hope that you can be happy. i then asked if he’d be interested in meeting up after the weekend. reason i make such a big deal out of finding your own true happiness in life itself and not in a relationship is because when a potential relationship feels that their actions make or break your happiness, it comes across as neediness. spontaneously flirt eg she could be cooking i'd sneak up spin her around and kiss her hold her cuddle her . almost always, the girl who’s leading you on probably likes you, but she needs more time to make up her mind about whether she really wants to date you. i really truly in my heart of hearts don’t believe that he would just up and leave me like that. judging by your other responses you say i should give her space but does that mean stop responding to her texts or what? a great relationship needs to be fed with loving attention every day. i’m usually the one who tries to mend things, but i think he is extremely embarrassed which puts him on a different playing field than ever before. i asked him if he thought he was ready to date. it's a woman’s responsibility in the relationship to create a sense of balance so that she can be receptive to your love but not become dependent upon it. what he hopes for his future and how he perceives the progression. you don’t want him to cheat, then your best bet is to work on making your relationship excellent. are many different way i can take this, that he wants an exclusive hookup(or something to that), that this is a cop-out for him later one, or that i should forget about him. thanks so much for this article…now i can understand why he freaked out. i wasnt use to this and tried to keep a focus on the true signs…so id txt him things like ‘wow u’ve txted me all this time, surely you’ve got someone else to txt, or something else to do. i agree with eric that it’s also a way of him trying to see how much you care., never settle for less or for someone who is treating you badly. right now he probably sees you as selfish and unappreciative. but is this the behavior of someone who cares, the italian bravado, or a typical guy? he said he is working and his computer is like family and if i didn’t mind him working that we may be able to work it out. i’ve been seeing this guy for three months until he started exhibiting the “freak out symptoms” and i told him that it seemed like he was just playing games and that we shouldn’t continue seeing each other. is there a way to apologize for not letting him have his freak-out phase and back pace in a sense? it’s like it bothers him if i think that. he’s bad in words and says he suck at everything.. but sometimes sometihng happens and he is not the way he usually is . my guy does an amazing job to make me feel special and sometimes i miss the cue on how he needs it back. fact is, as long as you remain fixated on him as a “goal to be attained” (that is, to have him re-emerge from withdrawing and want to be in a relationship with you), he will continue to withdraw. i have spent over an hour reading your articles… and they make complete sense. lauren, i am dating a girl for the last 7 months, we are both married, but we spent a lot of time together. you need to let him do that and create positive energy in the meantime.” i said i wasn’t interested in this other guy. thank you so much for your help, after reading your article i have done some mistakes, like taking things the wrong way, no call or no text being a bad sign when it isn’t. (he might be able to keep you engaged intellectually and is fascinating in many other ways? in the past i’ve been the one to always “what’s going on” and it never worked, always pushed them away further. good idea – if you keep me posted, maybe the article will write itself. heather, whether you are in love or not – is this really the kind of love you want to experience for the rest of your life? oh yes…and stay away from using pet names this early on also…. live in idaho and i’ve been seeing a guy in pennsylvania for the last year. very confused right now going from 3 incredible weeks to what happened today. it has been six months in, if he is still interested in seeing other people, keep in mind that there may be something with the dynamic between you two that is keeping him searching or maybe he is just plain out not interested in being with one person. my frinds told me to ignore him for like a week. i don’t know if he senses i “like” him, but i still feel like he’s been inconsiderate—considering our general friendship/relationship. did give me reassurance, but what he said was “we’re fine but your going to have to back off a little, i can’t breathe and i want to know that’s it’s going to be alright now and in our future for both of us to have our own time. we made out again as usual, and ended up naked, but still did not have any kind of sex..) are you the same person he fell in love with or have you changed? just wanted to say thank you so much for your help! my dad was the number one self-help author of all time and the world's leading relationship expert. this past week he did not, nor did he make his regular contact via email or text. this will certainly be a challenge for me and take some practice, but it could be rather fun! the sad thing is that if you fell hard for this type of girl, you still feel hurt after many years but at least you manned up in the end.. i don’t know if he did it on a purpose or what…. just don’t want to feel like i did something to cause the freeze out. we then went out two nights later on a friday and spent the whole weekend together where i met his friends and he met mine. in some circumstances, the girl who’s giving you mixed signals and leading you on could really like you, but she may be a people pleaser or an attention whore who’s too worried what her friends may think of you *because she assumes you’re not good enough to show off to her friends* [read: 16 attention whore signs to watch out for! i dated a wonderful man for 2 years and had an ex-husband who was abusive and wouldn’t let go. i really think he likes me but perhaps he is in this freak out stage, so how and what do i do to make him want me more.. he said i did absolutely nothing wrong and he wish im not such a nice person so this wouldnt be hard. and from that, i give my opinion – and at the end of the day, it’s just my opinion. hope im right:d i really like this man,sorry if i sound horrible, bt if theres another woman hes seeing, i hope she messes up so he come back to me:, eric ta for your advice,u helped i was so lost as to what was happening. i hope you found your courage or bought some or drank it at least enough to not be scared over his decision simply because you decided this is not the ideal situation for you. i kept contact to a minimum over the last few months (only 1 or 2 short messages) and we haven’t spoken in around 3 months…i decided to delete him from my facebook friends about a month ago as it was too hard for me watching him add new girls to his facebook friends (no idea who they are and if its more than friends, but didn’t help me wondering). however, i would be dubious of the guy who, after a few months of dating, never calls. before we parted, i said i needed a break from this relationship as is moving too fast, instead of telling him my family issues. in when the times are good and not to interested in put in much effort., i am confused, i am married to this wonderful lady and i don't know what to do. i pushed forward and became quite needy asking when we would seek each other, making snide comments, and all around being difficult/annoying. you shed a lot of light on my current situation and helped to keep me from freaking out over my guy recently going mia. in the mean time, it's okay to text her and say, "hey, just checkin in. he “lives” in florida but travels a lot because of his job and i am in california, met two years ago at work and began to flirt early this year. i haven’t heard from him anymore, which lead me to believe that maybe i did the right thing.’s been asked apparently by people why he would break up with me..Lauren, thank you so much for the quick response and great advice! this is sort of something that’s been spanning not only dating but nearly with anyone. some men resurface in time and then perhaps you can have another chance to reconnect, or you won’t want him anymore. but i saw him the night before our date and everything went okay, we were both really tired and he seemed to be in a bad mood, which he apologized for after dropping me off. tonight he was suppose to have came over for dinner he called me said he would be here in a hour,no show than called an hour later telling me that he was at his grandmas and he had to stay with her because she was upset about his grandpas death and today was his birthday. we moved in he started to withdraw and then, yes, i would ask over and over wtf was going on, so i was hurt and “freaked out” too i guess. the young lady above went into ‘over-compensation’ mode at the hint of doubt (even over something trivial) and laid her feelings bare at an inappopriate time. he said he was glad and asked if he could call me later in the week…i said yes. you really want to know what can be going on, here are a few options:1. don’t fall in love, bring a flashlight and a compass. i am guessing he needs his space and i will give him that. because technically there was no freak out phase he just hit me with it randomly. think that you’re feeling lonely, you miss him and you really want to be back together with him. some nights i need to stay home and work on school. i think it’s good to have a personal time table to walk away if you feel things are going a bit too slow to become “official” and you don’t want to waste more time..and when he shows you respect and caring …show it right back. even though she continues to tell me how much she loves me and wants to be together.  then thru a fb message he asked to see me that night and l told him l couldn’t this was only after he had told me earlier that he couldn’t see me. is it his own thoughts that he is telling me or a secret way of telling me he is doing those things or is thinking of doing them? so after a week and she's got bunch of assignment, i was trying to explain myself and feel like i was pressuring her. he told me it was because he missed me, that we had spent so much time talking and sharing and when we broke up, nothing! this is when he had asked for my number so he would call ahead of time to let me know that he was on his way. if he calls and says lets hang out, i am free now…. most of these things were imagined hurts because i didn’t do anything (i. we call each other from time to time and we skype too whenever were both off the next days. we are to begin moving in this saturday in ‘our’ new place. she makes herself appear weak and helpless without your advice and emotional support. it was just a few weeks ago that i saw my own withdrawal guy out on a date with a girl who looked very similar to me. dang, if i only i knew how to stop being needy and hopeful after a few great dates. she said that i made my way start to her heart and she had all this walls put up and it was like i was all ready in her heart before she put the walls there. at this point, i truly want to give up; and so, my problem is not the fact that he withdraws anymore, it’s the fact that he tries to come back and i cave because i’ve never felt this type of spark with anyone else. don’t mean to give you a “slippery” answer, but try not to think of it in terms of time, but rather “psychological space”. the first visit was the toughest and when i returned home we both put some thought into whether or not we thought it could work. i am thinking now it was maybe too much too soon (6 times together in 2 weeks). i have pretty much deduced ‘he’s just not that into me. more girls did that, i don’t think my e-mail box would be filled with questions about why the guy didn’t text back… they’d be too busy living the rest of their lives to worry about it. i left about 1 and we had plans for the next day. i played it cool,told him i appreciated the apology but i’d give him a pass just this time because he hadn’t done anything like that before. he used to always tell me to hurry up and get home so he can see me on facetime or skype and we’d talk for hours.) but i mean…c’mon i need to know the day of if we have plans. i totally understand that you need to take care of yourself right now. don’t jump out and threaten your man that you will leave: that is a sure winner of eventually ending any relationship – although a lot of us girls use this a emotional black mail to get a reassurance of commitment and love from our man. so i returned it with a question…have i asked you for anything more? it seems silly to analyze it, but she initiated contact, which means she was thinking about me. i don’t know if i should talk to him about how i feel or just let it ride and ‘steer’ in the direction of actually going out on a date. i have come to realize that scam artists are online. i guess im diplomatic in that way and it has proven most beneficial for me also. anyway, he pulled away, i asked like a week later if he was pushing me away because i deserved it, he said “no just a little timid after fb” anyway… instead of just relaxing and letting him be, possibly forgive me for my jealousy/insecure/slip i have texted that i miss him (i miss you too), i want to see him (i want to see you too) but he has been non-responsive to anything i’ve sent the past few days. however, he’s still trying to stay in contact…does that mean he’s no long interested? kind of feels mean but maybe it is the right thing? do i have to wait for him to give back signals or should i leave him be for let’s say a couple of weeks and then casually send him signals myself? i asked him if he still loves me, but he says he is confused. don’t like when people do this in general…nevermind a potential “mate”. last year he withdrew to the point where we weren’t speaking for several weeks and i wasn’t sure if something was wrong with us or if he needed space (turned out to be space, which was torture, but i respected that need). sure i could cancel my social events every so often for him (and if i’m into the guy, i know i would). i was in a 2 year relationship with a cop who, to me, was very insecure. i dunno what to do i don't want to pester her and push her away. the “pull back” stage, i used to freak out and drive the guy away. we had no contact for the year and then ran into each other at starbucks. but he also said he thinks he does not love me and that is why he is having such thoughts.. i asked him if it were okay to ask his mother to accompany me as i knew she would also enjoy the concert. and the only way to end this miserable excuse of a relationship is by picking a fight with her that’ll make her dislike you. yes, sure some (minority) of relationships are lucky enough to develop into something real even when intimacy has been introduced early on, but it’s always a bit of a thin gamble. we startet talking every day and seeing every moment we could, but we are colleagues. times of learning and growth are not the easiest, are they? i have not been like this all the time, it just pains that i’ve given the worst impression! the weekend before he decided to make a garden for me in my backyard, spent time with my daughter, came up with a plan to rearrange my living room and disclosed all of his financial info (including somethings he was struggling with).’ve had some contact back and forth since then, and if we’re texting he replies within seconds; however, he “promised” to meet up soon almost a week ago and i haven’t heard from him since. not calling him, giving him space and making awesome plans for myself (i. she has her sister visiting her now from her country with her husband, so is 3 day now i didnt see her. she wants to keep communication open, but when i asked her to set some boundaries there basically are none. after reading your post i feel much better, much stronger. at this point, the man has no room to make mistakes or pull away because her sense of worth and happiness is tied up into how well he loves her. we he odd went for a drink really hit it off again and i saw him nearly everyday of his 2 week trip. i told him, but hey, you are the one who wanted to be just friends? i don't enjoy pretending to feel or not feel things or act uninterested or like i don't want something when i really do. he also said that he wasn’t ready for a relationship at that moment because he’s been hurt in the past and has also hurt someone in the past. now a year has gone by and he starts to call again. i haven’t been a pushover during this break up. she isn't ruling out a future but she doesn't want me to hold onto that because she says she has no idea when she'll be done. that way, you’re naturally living your life instead of needing him to fill some void you’re filling., her strategy changed a bit with the new guy she has been with for over a year. i’m not worried about how it will effect us and you shouldn’t be either. am i reading this wrong or should i just come out and just ask him if im wasting my time. it just sucks because i honestly thought we had something here, he really has opened up so much to me, always writes back immediately, lots of joking around, lots of serious talk as well… i’m just trying to give him space at the moment. i show him that i mean it when i said i want to give him space he needs. she left her parents home almost instantly living with me. (i should mention that this guy went through a really bad break up with someone he was with for a while and married to a very short time but this was probably like 8yrs ago. he’s been trying to get us to go to the gym more often, trying to find ways to spend time other than during work hours.” that was last thursday, we texted a little on friday, initiated by me and ended by him, then i texted him saturday morning with no response., women feel the urge to pull away from a relationship when the intimacy gets too intense too quickly or the couple spends “too much” time together. of course, it feels really nice to hear from her and hear the sweet and sexy things she says, but you do know deep inside that all this is going nowhere. i want to start from scratch and start with the relationship i have with myself. lauren, i was recently got in a deeper relationship with my friend which i'd know for a year. there are plenty of good advice article on the web how to do this. i would automatically think he’s using me in that response. he’s told me that when it comes time to communicate, he zips up. he started withdrawing and making excuses, mainly because the divorce and custody was getting ugly, but he wouldn’t even talk about that. this is definitely one of those once in a lifetime if you’re lucky to have it loves for me.. should i wait for him to initiate anything further and what should be the next phase?. also worth mentioning he is still on vacation with his friends (they were at a friend’s wedding this week)…. our relationship has went through our ups & downs it wasn't perfect but i don't understand why? thank god i have loads of friends, a very demanding career and a loving family. should clarify he was a gentleman and attentive…except for when we were at a huge social gathering. very seldom has there been moments where he opens the door slightly, but it’s happened and the feelings flood back, but then it shuts soon after. liz, wish i’d seen your kind of advice about a year ago, things just might’ve turned out differently, very realistic and un-accusing reasoning. i would really appreciate if you respected this boundary and didn’t call or text me for a while. it is what he does and if his words and action match. which i know, but that’s not where i’m going with this…. they are so up in their heads rationalizing everything that they can end up coming off cold. now she last week told me that she isnt sure about us anymore and that she isnt sure she can give me what i fully need. after that he became a little distant, i was worried but thought maybe i could show him how i really felt. we agreed to leave the past in the past for both of us. she made wild accusations about me and her arguments were confusing and incomprehensible. eric i just got caught in the craziest 3 day whirlwind and have come out on the other side confused! i cant imagine this being the reason you break up. i haven’t asked him about what he’s doing. tomorrow i’m supposed to see him, we are all going to his club. it makes me like him that much more bc he doesn’t want to be anything short of the best boyfriend i deserve. i think there were a lot of wise principles going on in the 1920’s. and when we approach a door, he wants to be the one to open it and then he wants me to walk through it. if he says no emotions attached, why can’t he find and sleep with a girl in his current location? i kind of starting to like him a little too much and felt jealous today, which i didn’t show, so please help me how should i act with him to know what he wants…to maybe attract him more…what should i do tomorrow? this point is important because it allows you to guage his real interest, rather than acknowledge his provoked participation or apathy. until the relationship is official , it’s best to let a guy to always initiate contact, unless he’s extremely consistent it’s ok to contact him sometimes. it has been my experience that calling to find out is the best thing to do. then he said he wanted to see me that night, and i said i already made other plans…even though i didn’t. the way things were going it seemed like a relationship was right around the corner! i told him that i know he likes me and he says he does but that i keep going out with other guys… and i said but you said you wanted to be friends! her parents opened their doors for her to move home to save money and learn to train dogs at a near by facility (her life long dream). started talking to this guy for a week now, within the first three days he told me he loved me. you don’t have to sleep with them or kiss them or anything. he can just continue to promise a “relationship eventually” forever. if a woman says she needs space, listen to her and respect it. do some women want to make a couple so soon? he told me he was not in a hurry and he wanted me to call and keep in touch with him and he would keep in touch with me. furthermore, if you want a man to miss you… staying in contact…even if through a text message once every few days will not do it. i hope this doesn't mean i permanently messed up and have no chance with her again. do many women believe so much what a guy says? when i gave her the cold shoulder she tried different strategies to make me come back and lead me on. could get angry and start fighting and accusing one another… and damage your relationship in the process. i sent her a respectful email asking that we sit down so i can get answers so we can both feel good about where we're heading. like all new couples we had a lot to figure out about one another and have had our bumps in the road. i have been talking to this guy for a couple weeks and he was so sweet he would messsage me in the morning and sometimes i would beat him too it. also,he is a very sweet, caring, mature man, he loves his family, has a lot of friends, not the type of guy to just stop calling…or at least that’s what i thought anyway. when we were out on date he told me that he has been through some very messy relationships, prepared to be alone for rest of his life, but lonely too and would like to be married again… so we have talked a lot, he has been very open about things. he suddenly feels apathy for you because he can only focus on one thing at the same time. i just want to know if i said the right things and just because he caught my “no contact attempt” it doesn’t mean ignoring him still won’t make him go crazy right? what’s the best thing to do now that my neediness has gone too far?.) you are not providing things to him that he once received (like sex) and/or you have changed for the worse..when i refused, he got mad at me and he broke up with me… i told him i couldn’t send one because of privacy reasons as i thought that it might affect my personal life and career…i told him it’s against our professional codes. i also know it’s gonna help me a lot. then when i started to notice him he was always behind me, like really close. so after about what a day he texts me and we have a casual conversation as friends . my point is sometimes they respond the way they do because they do like you and the only way to know for sure is to ask direct questions or to take a leap yourself. but almost out of no where she pulls away, rarely does she even text, and she doesnt make an effort to call. he did not initiate any contact with me for the past 1 week except when he just text me arrived safely at the airport. i feel that i’m unimportant or not a priority when he can’t even make time to choose a day for us to be together, when there is no worked planned in advance. have this young professor in one of my short courses attended recently and i noticed that he would always look at me especially if he gives lecture in front. we have been seeing each other for about two months. one more question, do you ignore holidays when you are in the midst of this kind of thing? you may be a dating coach, but you are not a woman who has to deal with the madonna/whore complexes that still influence how we are treated. after a little bit, he told me he loved me and kissed me. since then, for the whole time until now he’s only played the field basically. he brings himself down a lot when he can’t do something then the space. last time i saw him (saturday before v-day), we spent the entire day and part of the evening together. since then he has been quite lazy on the contact front. is happening to me right now and has been happening to me over the past year. she has told me that she need to focus on herself & she has alot going on. we also had folders with our names on it so people could write us messages, and they would put it in there and we would all read them on the last day on the way home. maybe if we just be honest with one another every step of the way. and he kept on calling me to meet me and asking why i decided to give him the silent attitude i told him i am busy with work. the best thing to do when a guy stops calling or he disappears is nothing. so what you’re saying is i shouldn’t care about whether he comes running back or not, because my life should be full enough for him not to matter? i began to feel like he was distant so i as him about it, and he said it was nothing. your instinct is making you suspicious or worried, then i would put your focus on what you can control: how you react to that feeling. i have deleted all male friends from my life pretty much. love this post i saw me in a lot of the points and i saw my partner in others. certainly gets the job done but it’s far from graceful and it leaves you very confused with a little lingering whiplash of your own. i was always very physically attracted to him, but in the beginning i was ready to write it off as a fling; but his persistence made me think “hmmm…maybe he’s actually into me. agree with you ladies to a certain extent–i too felt this way. i think that your well balanced advice helps enormously in understanding how men see things. well probably about 2-3 weeks before that we talked on the phone almost every night for ~2 -3 hours each night. i’m not his girfriend, i’m not his bootycall and not his friend with benefits. he was really insisting that time but we ended up fighting and arguing about that issue…. this is why i think this guy is doing what i call the “bait and switch”. girls are a lot more touchy feely than guys, and there’s a very good chance that you may be misunderstanding that friendly touch for a flirty touch. and would he respond to a text if he wasn’t interested? the end of the day, you have the choice to leave and move on. i hope he turned around and if he didn’t, for the future:” i’ve been exclusively dating a guy for 4months. the point is, something inside him feels as though it’s not enough. i responded asking him why he wanted to know all these things about me.. im just a little blinded by you can say "love". there’s nothing wrong with that and we’ve all felt that type of thing in our lives at one point or another. he waits for me so we can walk to the time clock together and to our cars. we remained friends and he has always been available to my random texts. reality is that you’ve been seeing this guy for a while..This has been happening to me for the past 8 months. in my estimation, i think a balance is needed in all of this advice i.’t get me wrong – i’m not saying that he doesn’t feel anything for you or that he won’t feel anything for you. he just gave me the “a lot going on in my life” excuse. is also in depression because of this, though i try to cheer her up whenever i talk to her.[read: how to let go of the girl you love by hating her]. the third month is when the relationship comes into perspective…when they start seeing the mistakes the’ve made etc. this means being strong so do whatever it takes to do so e. lauren, my girl is showing signs of coming out of the cave. if i must say so myself i’m a hood looking woman so how come this makes me feel less attractive?, the only other time i’ve ever left feedback online for was this incredible new search tool i found for apartment hunting. and let’s face it, we know the signs when somebody is ‘into’ us, we just know. she said she needs this time to see what she wants and who she really is. i told him, i’ll go to us with or without him., i am really having a hard time understanding what the real issue is here.” “ok fine, i get it, i don’t wanna talk to you either”, especially if he didn’t text me back or make plans every week. let her lead me on for a bit longer, hoping something will ever change. why not pace yourself getting to know each other on all the important levels instead of potentially confusing oneself with the hormones, endorphins and the thrill of the physical, when it is only just one of the components of a bigger picture. it certainly is a man’s world:) i’m trying not to be bitter about this but when you feel there is the potential with someone and they end the relationship with no reason, it doesn’t make sense. but the more i think about our situation now, i’m pretty convinced (and also just trying to be hopeful) that he’s in the freak out phase. he told me he missed me and parts of the relationship we had. he’s being all sweet and really getting you to like him… and then he shifts…. it is doomed, i just need some time to come to terms with it. she likely has the need to understand you, as you are., have you ever experienced feeling intimacy with a girl and then suddenly out of nowhere she pulls away or starts acting irritated with everything you do? i txt and asked what was wrong and he wrote back. do i need to have him commit to anything but dating at this point? there’s a lot of contradiction, experimentation, and testing in the beginning stages. we have been texting for a while, and he says he loves me through text too, but we’ve never been on a real date. no further contact until a brief text when she got home tuesday afternoon. have it set up in your mind that if he were just a certain way… or if the situation were different… or if he just became your boyfriend… everything would be great! i look forward to wrapping my arms around you and giving you a big kiss when i see you. i love it when you make me happy and i also love making myself happy and right now i need to indulge that part of me. we talked about everything, how we wanted to raise our kids, what a good relationship looks like, religion, dreams, traveling…we were on the same page about literally everything. for whatever reason, i was confused as to whether she genuinely wanted time or whether she just wasn't interested. maybe he’s confused and having second thoughts, but you being there isn’t going to help him figure things out. relax, and have some faith that one day you will get your turn. now will you please write one of these for my pisces partner? she invited me to watch her play netball and loved been in my company. what gives them the right to ”freak out” with us?, if a guy tells you within three weeks your his girlfriend and talks about moving in blah. in the meantime, take your focus off these dirtbags and stop obsessing. …… if you would write articals about what’s in men’s mind after marriage, or just add that part into your incoming articals, i would love to read them as well ). everything you described in your column has been my experience: he wooed me the night we met, even followed me around the club lounge until the end of night; vehemently insisted to take me out to dinner the next night; told me he’s never been so attracted to someone in his life after the first date–i of course freaked out a little bit and played it off with a laugh; he would then contact me every few days eager to meet up and let me know he’s interested; he even contacted me while he was in italy to visit his family over the holidays. at the beginning it was “you’re beautiful, amazing, perfect package” etc. know he has a lot on his plate (financial issues) plus he is away for a month taking a very intense tecnical training class for the military where every week day he puts in long hours. when i wanted to let them eat alone he told me it was not like that and she is a long friend. that mentality will only make you less desireable, and they can sniff your insecurity if you felt that way. still haven’t gotten a reply to my post above.’s better to be single and happy than in a relationship and unhappy. unfortunately, an idle mind tends to jump to the worst conclusions of why someone doesn’t want to or can’t see us. i have no idea what he was doing before he met me but i am a very open hearted loving person who loves really hard and i try to make things work whatever the situation where as he is a nonchalant person who is not very loving at all but anyhow i started to catch feelings and eventually fell in love with this man. you need to have a no contact rule for a while. you definitely get the most satisfying results in a relationship when you behave like yourself and refrain from counting chickens before they hatch, so to speak. in this city, there are more women than men, and sex is passed around like handshakes. after we hung out a few times, i started to get comfortable and text him back things like that., saying that, at the beginning especially, it is necessary to let a man come to you, not the other way round.. he played it off as if he was just kidding. women seem to be all after the same small pool of eligible bachelors, whilst these men can pretty much have their pick of a whole smorgasboard of delightful ‘dishes’. i finally texted him a message (as i was kind of worried), he just replied that he was at an out of town meetings and would be back tomorrow. and i get hurt and act evasive because i’m never fucking sure of what’s going on. for the long comment but really…what’s with this dude?. after work and on his days off he just do his hw.! that she loves me, but she doesn't show it at all.! but managed 2 get my head 2gether and worked hard… as my study is important 2 me. we haven't had any intimacy since we both have a quite conservative background and thats ok with me because i sincerely want to learn more about her. but eric’s conceptual approach, that gem quoted above, is magic. i think he wanted me to wait around as a friend, continue to mess around with him and not date other guys while he figured out if he was interested enough to pursue something. i honestly believe this “freak out” phase is either total garbage or the actions of an emotionally immature or insecure man and who wants one of those? you need to do if a girl is leading you on? if she's awkwardly stopped communicating with you with no reason as to why, assume it's about her and not you. she started off by hiding the fact that they where dating from the crowds we all socialize with for two months. well, from that point in her room it was a little awkward and i soon left. gets upset that i couldn't see her and begs to see me. i do miss him, but i keep myself busy, doing nice things for myself and have also accepted a date from someone else (i’ve decided to date others, until my guy says he’s committed, even though we are/were exclusive, and i haven’t told him that i date, i see no need for that). and then ofcourse he would do something else to tick me off it’s usually things like not responding to my texts or i will call him and he will say things like i will call you back but never do it but then he pops up at my house at any given time and if he cant reach me, all hell breaks loose and he won’t talk to me for weeks at a time but god forbid he does it to me, i call him out on it and he will break it off again for things he does. i did tell him on thanksgiving that i am thankful for him in my life. i understand what you’re saying- basically that women get freaked out and freak out the men that they are dating when they think they’re boyfriend/girlfriend when they are really only in the dating stage. now just last week she's breaking up with me again.

How do I talk to the guy I'm dating about this? - relationships | Ask

it’s almost always around the 2-mth mark that a man decides if it’s worthwhile ‘investing’ more into the otherwise previous casual dating. i’m a married women and have been for 10 years within the last 4 years my husband has become a different person. like more than several other posters, i also felt this growing sense of “empowerment,” even as i was mouthing “oh no, no…. he’s very chilvarous and is johnny on the spot if i need him (sincerely need him which isn’t often). i just personally think there is too much emphasis on him and not enough on what you want and think and feel. guys aren’t really that complicated if you take their actions at face value. or later, the image/fear + coercion/manipulation cycle collapses and the relationship either gets “real” or it collapses into intense resentment and then ends. i only wish i had read this a month ago. but i end up showing mixed signals because at the same time i want him to know i like him. we had a bit of an argument coz he stood me up and i text him telling him how much i care but that i’m not making the effort anymore when i give everything but get nothing back. but i also think this is a dead end situation. as soon as i jumped to his side of the fence, he flipped the script after a year of dating and our families meeting each other and everything. (she is even going back to ny this thursday for an actual interview and portfolio showing for week. i haven't seen her for over a week and she says she has been busy that's why she ain't replied but i kno its a lie. right now, my emotions are shut down – and i don’t feel anything because i don’t get anything from him. women love to make excuses though, sadly, when men are not so into them. after exchanging messages for a couple of weeks and a phone meeting, we met in person. recently took a job in another country has continued to email, calls once a day, tells me about his day, how much he misses me and wants to see me again. opened up hetold me he loved me ,we made vows to be friends for life. he was overseas in the peace corps for 2 years in latvia then a few extra months in eastern europe. i did drugs, he cheated and was with multiple other women. then when he stopped acting that way, it made me feel like i did something wrong, when clearly i didn’t.’s always fun to read into something about oneself and yes this does accurately describe my aquarian traits. may found funny, but a guy can still “feel” if you’re watching his every move and waiting for him to come around. he then called me twice,once after every two weeks which is what i used to do to him! i asked about october because i have vacation in october and he said we will see. we haven't talked in over two weeks now and i'm not sure if this is a blow off or she is just telling me she needs more space. :- ) theres'a beautiful vulnerability beneath that outer confident persona that we exude. aquarians have a lot of fun…but get nothing done! it’s not worth the energy girls, take the energy and focus it on you, until somebody that really is ‘into you’ comes along into your life and does all the right things. this sounds sooooo like my ex boyfriend xd good thing i dumped him when he cheated < yes im a girl. if you love him putthe focus on fun and less on his despair. if you start falling for a friend, you may assume she likes you back too because in your mind, that’s what you’re secretly hoping for.   i told him l love him again before l left and he said he doesn’t love me and doesn’t want to hurt me and doesn’t want us to be friends with benefits because he will only hurt me in the end. we talked the other day and he told me he is only concerned about his dream (music) right now, and if i want to be with him i will do what he asks, but he is not willing to do what it takes to make me happy. yes, was the answer…keep it simple and say something. he told me that if we take a few weeks or months to take our relationship back a step (less phsycial, more getting to know one another…again) he might figure out what he wants. it’s not sad, some of us are just wired that way i guess. he’s 28, i’m 21 and we’ve been seeing each other for about 6 weeks now, he asked me out to dinner the night we met, and from there everything took off. some women might like to hang around for months and even years waiting for a guy to make his mind up but i think after 2-3 months of seeing someone they should know if they want to progress things or not. however, i was under the impression he had a girlfriend. most of the time he keeps himself at distance and won’t go there. we had tentative plans to hang out a few days later, but he was suddenly being very slow at responding to my texts (said he was busy at work) and i was very stressed out by excessive work so i had to cancel. he is literally sweeping her off her own two feet.! i feel a lot better but i want to make sure i’ve got all this right…. what am i to do, what am i to think? i've learned the best thing to do is just be steady and supportive. we tried to live together twice, the first time she had to move back to her hometown due to custody issues. i did really like this guy but i’ve learned that isn’t such a smart thing to do, you just end up getting hurt in the end, and i was hurt that he was behaving this way because i knew that he liked me too. i’m afraid that he is waiting for an apology, but it’s so hard to tell.), and the last few weeks we've been spending nights with each other, introducing each other to friends, etc. that went on for 4 months and then he came back full time to england. i would be so mad if he is just being selfish here. do you really want to be with someone that treats you more like an option rather than a priority? why can’t he say, you do help or i love you too? he said he loves me more than anyone, that i complete him in so many ways that he wants to be with me always. other cases, i wouldn’t be overly concerned about the relationship not being official before 4 months, which goes against some expert advice. so am i suppose to let this go or let him know it bothers me? even when you formulate the right words things can be misinterpreted. he knows that and it’s always in the back of his head. eric, my boyfriend and i have been together for 4 years he just recently got a new job. my significant encouraged this and knows there is no romantic involvement or interest whatsoever. i know he’s made some changes and it took god to put me back in his heart, but i really feel that i’m not in the wrong here. we girls who love to be held, touched, kissed and cuddled spontaneously need to be with a guy who is equal to that, and since you are good looking, he needs to have a healthy self-esteem. i just read this article and it hit the nail on the head! i followed your advice and have been focussing on moving on and being positive and happy on my own. he had the option to take his things from my apartment, and give me my keys back, but he didn’t. i did not detect any unhappiness and on the day i left her she genuinely looked sad to see me go. i made up my mind that it won’t cross the friendship sign unless he’s single. i have quit using, attend meetings, finished my associate’s degree, and will have 6 months next month. so conditions could be such were it is worthwhile for both parties to really forgive and build trust. as he still kept texting me after i refused personal training lessons… his texts became more friendly and personal with (x x x ) in them …. should also point out that he lives in paris and i’m in london, so it was an ldr, although it began as an unofficial thing when i lived in paris (for 4 months) and then became an official relationship for 6 months as an ldr…. very helpful for someone like me who has been unsuccessful with dating and relationships. they will protect and defend all who they love: friends, family, partners, and because it takes a while for an aquarius to show vulnerability, when they do it’s a big deal that comes with grand rewards like loyalty, commitment, integrity. and if you never told him you loved him before…. many girls think they can change a man – they can not! its the worst thng ever happened to me,n the most funniest thng is i realized it only after i left him.(ar… i should find thie web earlier to avoid all mistakes that have done…). charles, please give me a guys point of view; i plan to have dinner with the man i was dating two years ago. a girl holds out sex from a guy as a strategy to land a boyfriend, do you think that’s any less needy than a girl having sex out of the hopes of scoring a boyfriend? he would also use these imagined hurts to excuse himself from investing into the relationship. shoot me a text when you think you might be free for that. think: “is this how my dad would have treated my mother? (last day i saw her) that last day before we said goodbye to each other, apparently i said something rude to her and got mad at me. she texted me immediately saying it made her sniffle (in a good way). also understand that him “knowing” how you doesnt negate how you made him feel., okay this is a long story so buckle your seatbelt! next morning he became cold and distance and kicked me out from the apartment we rented, his pa told me that he needs to go to singapore to attend a meeting and i better leave cause they want to finish some work before going to the airport.) he told me he would try to stay emotionally availible and not pull away after two weeks. a pity i haven’t seen this a few months ago. he borrows a friends truck and comes over anyway to whisper, “i think i am falling in love with you. i don’t mean to hurt you or make you suffer :t. i could tell he really didn’t want to do that, but i felt it wasn’t fair to me to wonder and wonder what the heck was going on. it’s not that there has been a sudden end in the liking of another person, it’s just that the aquarian enjoys time for inner thoughts and discoveries; this affords the occasion to recharge, re-energize and refresh. everything felt so natural and easy with us and i had never been swept off my feet like this so i was willing as well. time where each can reassert their independence and ability to feel enjoy themselves. they admire honesty and will continue to value an honest person instead of finding them weak and unworthy of continued involvement of any kind. he is doing some work for me that i have asked him to meet me for coffee to talk about and so far he has said he is really busy right now, we end up always discussing it before or after our church things with others around. or do i give up by ignoring his next attempt to contact me? there’s nothing wrong with that in itself, but if it starts feeling like life or death to see him then you’re still putting follow-through on a pedestal. then again she started with the “i am in, i am out” routine several times. i’ve tried to talking to him, but he doesn’t want to discuss it and starts yelling, bringing up stuff that we’ve agreed to not bring up so as not to focus on the past or the negative, gets mad, and puts me on ice for sometimes days or longer and then i feel like i’m starting all over again. trying to avoid being a doormat but i also dont wanna freak out on him , i keep busy and let him contact me ,i’m just totally lost on what to do or say when and if he calls me again. image-based fear of “being a doormat” is exactly the type of idea that will spiral you into needy behavior and slowly poison your relationship with manipulation and resentment. i tried calling her on the third night and left some rambling apology. he has to make the next move, and it has to be clear and unambiguous. she would push me away, so i’d distance my self and leave her alone, then she’d come to me all down and saying she felt so vulnerable, and i wanted to take her in my arms. he “comes your way again” and it’s one hour every two weeks, it’s time to consider he went back to the ex or found someone else but doesn’t have the heart to tell you or he can’t decide who he wants, or he wants to see how far he can get with you. and if you do get to that point, where he mans up and makes it clear about his intentions, then be sure to ask clearly if he’s already involved or dating someone else. he just ended an eight year relationship six months before me. think we could have a great future and i do understand him wanting to date other women, he was in a controlling 14 yr relationship… and i don’t want to be a “needy” person, i know my independence was what attracted him in the first place…i’m just not sure if i can reverse the damage i caused by trying to “morph” into him, by losing myself in our relationship for a while… i’m over that now and want him to see that… please send me a reply as soon as you can, i am on my way to visit him tomorrow and want to use your advise while i am with him. it was the hardest thing i have ever had to do. for the messages, i met this guy at my work place and he was such a nice guy. am not going into this with expectations like before (wanting a relationship) but i still care about him. didn’t mean to, but i’ve insulted my now ex boyfriend with his daughter present… saying “quit using me” when i was frustrated and angry at him for being rude to me. at the time, i had some genuine interest in him but as women need time for their attraction to grow, my interest was still undeveloped. i want to enjoy the journey with him & enjoy every moment when we get to hang out. i’ve been trying to live my life and give him space but its difficult when i see him every day at work. his response upset me, so i told him, “it didnt make a difference to me if we are together or not.’s because people can feel when you want them to be your emotional crutch. instance, if a guy says something like ‘i like you so much” or whatever during the early phases, he really just wants to see how you’ll react – namely, that you’ll say that you feel the same way. i was fine at first, but he kept up contact and made it apparent that he wanted to spend time with me. she is absolutely the most important person in my life, she's my best friend. if he pursues that he’s interested, if not he isn’t serious enough. wen u gibe ur best , u don’t realize you do and it makes me happy. it was directed towards relationships i had in the past but not him. i don’t think it’s okay for a guy to say things like “i haven’t shut the door on us” or “i’m not done learning from you yet”. i was with my family and they helped keep my mind off of it, and kept me busy. it’s a secret relationship and she wants to keep it that way.’m like u saying we over and he didn’t reply. do you think she is using me to fall back on if things fail else where? nobody likes rejection (whatever form), my ego was desperate for an answer yesterday. eric, first off, your ask a man advice is really great and has been insightful to read. so couple of time when he came 2 get him and i was going out he saw me…and drove off as fast as he could!. i gave in as a way to prove her i was not playing games with her. wanted to say i thought this was a great article. like she never shows emotion with anyone besides her little girl and that's how she has always been and when she meet me that all changed and it freaked her out. why you ask because you need to keep you dignity and not be labelled as some clingy needy girl. also that i know shes got a lot going on and that i know she needs time to focus on herself and her family, that i am here if she needs anything.. texting from the min he and i woke up and till night. a guy travel for over 15 hours just to have weekend sex without any emotions attached? it's been a long long time since i've met someone who has stimulated my intellect and need for adventure, and it's true that i'd rather just go it alone if that need isn't met.. also worth mentioning he is still on vacation with his friends (they were at a friend’s wedding this week)…. i believe in my heart that she is my soul mate. both of you may be intensely attracted to each other, but she still calls you a good friend even as all your friends wonder what’s going on. wanted to say that this website has been incredibly helpful to me, im from france and just moved to the us, started dating a guy whose behavior was a mystery to me so i looked up answers online and just happened to read this article. he was iraq for a year and since he’s been back home he has not dated. on the other hand, not having a full life and needing the relationship to be a certain way (or else) can smother the relationship. we were taking it very slow which i was really liking because there was no sense of urgency. from the start he was pretty obvious about liking me, all of our coworkers seem to know it as well.” now my struggle is not txting or typing to him on fb to just say hi, see how he’s been; and to be ok that he doesnt ask in return ‘what have u been up to? it ever too late after a year of spending roughly half of it making mistakes, being needy, asking when you’re going to see him again (ouch! she also has a lot going on with her children and she just came out of a divorce). it can only give him the space he needs, the ear he needs, sometimes damn the world with him, and at times remind him how competent he is. fixing my car, appliances and generally being there when i need him. benefits are that you don’t end up inadvertently making the situation worse and, without negative emotions clouding your view, you can look at the situation with clarity and peace. i know it’s not the answer we want to hear, but silence speaks volumes. give my opinion in these posts and i try to stay away from being a dating advice column.’ve been reading your articles and i find them so enlightening. this will turn her off and she'll never be able to trust you again since you couldn't respect her boundary and love her at the same time. one of these that i fell to hard to fast for and all she was doing was playing me. if they don’t feel the right way about something, their senses are telling them “no” or “get out”. he said no but…so i told him it’s unfair for him to think for me. at the end of the day, most women want long-term committment and eventually marriage. it is a game of sorts, whether subconconscious or deliberate. he told me before he didn’t see a future, because he missed a feeling, but now he is confused? it felt good to see her & talk, but it confuses me because i could tell she still needed her space. anyway, i don’t know if i should make it clear i am waiting for his call or if i should purposely wait to answer? too bad people need help with what works in their dating life now. i responded saying that i get that and i understand i don’t handle certain situations the best, but that i’ve learned my lesson and i was just sad that i had to learn it this way. however, sometimes i think maybe i was harsh on him, what can i do? i believe him and everything but in a way i know he is that night owl and didn’t go to bed for the last three nights at 8pm.’s ironic, but putting yourself and your own fulfillment first can be the best thing you can do for your relationship/future relationship.. he said he know it hurts and it hurts him a lot too. each time we arrange a time to meet he cancels at the last min and there is always a excuse for it each time, not only this he never answer my calls only text once in a while when he needs me, when i need him he is never there for me anymore. i will however say that currently he doesn’t have a phone and was going to use a family members phone, so possibly that might be the reason he hasn’t contacted me that way). so i asked him what am i doing differently now from a month ago to make him feel this way. believe i am in this stage, he keeps calling me his girl and how he really likes me and looking forward to the furture. it’s really hard because i know he is really stressed about some things and the best thing i can do is not push him right now. he sat on the other side of the couch, and didn’t talk to me. but when he is away he always ask if i found a new boyfriend yet and he wouldnt mind and things like that. however, everything was going great, he would hang out with his friends on the weekend and i wouldn’t hear from him as much but i was fine with that for the most part. when a guy starts pulling away, i see it as a sign that things are actually going well. so i wondered if there were things he wanted to say, but he was afraid to say them. he said he would come but then never showed up. he shouldn’t be risking losing you to another man if he really liked you that much. a few of her friends may know both of you are close, or are on the verge of dating, but none of her friends have any idea that something’s even going on between the both of you. i promise to let you know the minute i’m ready to be close again. [read: the real reason behind why girls are so fickle about guys]. he then says he feels guilty for feeling that way, cause he knows i have been nothing but wonderful, that its his own short comings. they’d seem so lovestruck and way too excited when you’re together but then after they just send texts here and there or they become wishy washy. agreed to meet up but he said nothing abt time or picking me up, so i got the hint. i’ve talked to guys about it, they do it b/c they want to know how much they’re “wanted” and how desperate the girl is. is he does not make an effort to hug, kiss me or be romantic when he comes. she may date another guy and still give you her attention, which makes you feel special, and confused at the same time. thought he was blowing me off and trying to end things, although it seemed strange because he doesn’t seem like that type of guy. you'd like to learn how to get more me-time in a way that supports you in your work, life and relationship,Click here for a free cheat sheet:6 real-life steps to getting more me-time. but i guess the best way to help and support her is to give her what she needs - space and love. she can't be emotionally or physically involved with me right now. if you read too much into it, you’ll end up causing yourself a lot of unnecessary stress. i was with my friend the night he came back and she told me that they were going to hang out that night. have female friends who have already spilled the beans about their sex lives. leave it to him to take it in and make of it what he will. lol is it possible that he could get closer again? sure to consider my situation that he’s withdrawn or freaked out, etc.’ve never seen something so close descriptive of my situation.. ill give her a day and ill text to see how she is most the time she will respond but this time shes not. if this is seasonal or temporary, i can most definitely handle it, if i know it’s not going to be like this forever. or in the worst case, she may tell you she can’t think of you as anything more than a friend.” i tell him we need to slow down and get to know each other. staying in on friday night and watching movies, going to a work function together all day saturday and having an impromptu dinner with my dad and grandparents and then going out with his brother and friend. he won’t make you his girlfriend or be reliable – date others if you aren’t already. the next time we were at the gym, he had mentioned that his mom wanted to come with but had to cancel because something else came up. as easy as it is for me to walk away, i honestly don’t want to. when a guy/girl loses the other, s(he) needs to feel the loss of the person, the personality, the inspiration, not the physical moments. are the weirdest of the signs, that’s probably why more aquarians are inventors than any other one out there. i have never felt this type of love for anyone. and also when i smiled at him if there is some funny thoughts he said in front he will give back to me a very genuine smile from his face as well. the last few days he hasn’t really texted me and has called me for a 5 minute phone once. it was your actions that caused her to lose interest. and while it’s not as common for women to go into “the girl cave,” it definitely falls under the “normal” umbrella. honestly, i don’t mind being treated like a friend because that’s what i am right now but i just don’t want to keep feeling like this all may be a lost cause or just too much of my energy. since that night, he has not contacted me his usual way. i would ask her to hangout and she would make say she's not feeling to good, so i accepted it. did i mis-interpret this whole thing and he wasn’t that interested in the first place? you have to be certain that you can be with him exactly how he is, too. he even brought me to church with him and his family. it’s a sure fire way to test out the genuine from the non-genuine, because the genuine will always ‘wait’ for a woman they are sincerely interested in. i am starting to like him and have feelings, but now i am nervous that he is after the wrong thing.. one day i got really drunk and told her i hated how she would treat me like that and that i didn't care if we broke up (at least that was what she told me since i don't remember and then i passed out) she got mad and made out with me cousin later that night. i was a kid who ate dinner to the tune of gender and relationship discussions and boy, did i learn a lot. he has been calling and texting on and off, but no third date as of yet as i have been out of town. if a man is keen it’s not just about showing up for the dates, it’s about being courteous and respectful too. (it’s a name calling game we play) but now i’m sitting here on sunday still no word. his brother is my best friend and i’m close to his parents. both of you need time for the rollercoaster emotions to settle down. everything was beautiful until i got drunk and i felt that his female pa touched me. after 6 weeks of being apart and him dating someone else without telling me ( i found out on my own) but still coming to connect with me through texts, phone calls, and visits, i said all or nothing. every now and then, there comes a time when you unintentionally fall in love with a girl who seems right, but is completely wrong for you. he then came into work and talked to the girl who had given him my number before and told her how he felt like an idiot and really wanted to ask me out. that is why i suggested getting back into the dating pool. she’s in the moment with you, feeling shmoopy and intimate and suddenly she gets whiplash and has to get away from you. we exchanged numbers and later that even he came over to talk for a bit. of late he has been checking me regularly but i have not fallen for it. if all this is happening but you’re already his girlfriend? the next night, i sent him an email apologizing for how i handled the situation and that i would like to give it a second chance. when he starts texting me again… do i respond back? he also spends his breaks with me, often side by side,even if we are just reading our books. said he was free on friday to sunday n i told him i was free only sunday. he’s so amazed that i’m calm, collected, nice, no drama…. i stopped completely 4 days ago but still nothing… the thing is we had plans to go away for 4th of july weekend and i was informed by his brother that he was still planning on going… so im really confused and i dont know what to do at this point.. after that night, she changed and starting to distance her on that matter, but still staying close. lauren i meet someone and it really was love on first sight. later that evening we had a discussion about what i was., she really likes you as a friend and is just being friendly with you because she feels comfortable around you. i have had a thing with this guy for about two months by now and we will always make plans to hang out together but at the last second, he will bail. aquarius is not the easiest of signs to have a romantic relationship with, but totally worth the effort. then he told me that he felt very pressured by me asking about the plans, that i was expecting to much of him, practically told me that i was not his girlfriend, blah blah, and that is way he was also acting distant. wonderin some of these signs im seein but my relationship is different. i know there’s so many circumstances where you can’t pick up, but it feels like avoidance whenever it happens to me. we have known each other for many years but barely talked. if you do then take time to consider perhaps you have been more selfish through the 7 months than you thought. was great advice not only for those dating an aquarius but those of us who fall under this sign. people fight over stupid things when their needs are not met. when just dating, not in a relationship it’s a bit different because he hasn’t invested anything in just dating. if a guy acts like this, i’m going to call him on it, before cutting things off. after a relationship is more established, she already has a sense of what feel balanced and she trusts that her man will be fine with her request for alone time, she tends not to pull away as often. above (in case u didn’t see my reply) thank you for your message. if i call and leave him a message – he calls back soon. from the first date the chemistry and intensity has been off the chart (we have not slept together) i have been single now for about a year, however, she has only been single for about 5 months. he emails me sports related links and articles and sais thats me the clever one etc … no any sexual innuendos just slightly flirty stuff. up till 2 weeks ago we would hand out and mess around alot. while i know game play and acting and this whole new pua stuff is a requirement for success these days, i surely hope there is still someone out there i can be 100% real with. said him & his friend got carried away, it was rude of him & not him to do that. i was able to recognize, that despite the varying differences among my “love fun” romances, i had reacted in a very “not different” and unhealthy way at the end of each. am 35 yo dating the 40 yo successful guy, he’a a succesful physician assistant in sf, divorced and has 1 son. i wish i was closer to the man that i am interested in to ask him such things. i fall victim to this too but they really get anxious or some other negative feeling when we panic and go into fix it mode. if you don’t agree with my opinion at this point… you’re simply not going to – you have your convictions and you’re sticking to them… that’s completely fine with me, but i want to make it clear to my audience that i don’t agree with you or sofia. you’re on the anm dating list because i send my best stuff out through there..Hi lauren, i know this article is related to more of a male/female issue, however i would sincerely appreciate your advice.… to the women who think they should sleep with a guy because it will score them points with him somehow, it won’t. what does is mean when a guy had a twin bed make you sleep on the floor next to him. he’s a super goofy and affectionate person, really down to earth which i love. my question is how do you suggest i go about my actions? he admitted he is hooked on me and missed me. as a guy, there's this urge to make things right, but just letting things take their course is challenging, though i understand the wisdom of it. everything went good but now he is starting to disappear. sounds like you’re getting everything back on track… keep your focus, it will all fall into place, and be patient! he says i don’t bother him and he loves it when i text him but now he won’t message back. isn’t bad news – the truth is that you are in control of your emotions and how you handle things. the winter when our company was reducing hours, his would get cut and he had mentioned a few times that during our lunch break on his day off he might drive down with his dog so he could show everyone.. she will feel guilty and will sacrifice her own needs to make you happy.  she may say things that are hurtful just prior to or during our time apart. she fully intends to move back and we just kept pushing through the obstacles encouraging each other that this is for our future.!In any case, i took your advice and played it cool while also maintaining the truth with a simple reply to him that read “i miss you too”. i’ve been talking to this great guy that i met on a dating website we had an instant connection one ive never had with a guy before. i’ve deffo been too needy and now he isn’t replying to my texts. don’t you tell him that you are under the impression that he doesn’t answer your phone calls ? before if i dont reply he’ll get all worried and will call and leave a voice message. i needed him to know this was real and not about sex. come monday, we are all doing our stretches in the department before our workday and he comes in and says in front of everyone “guess what i did this weekend? i met this girl and originally she wasn't ready to date because she was coming off an engagement that ended badly. people are just too worried about the world and what people think, and their happiness depends more on what others say and think than what really matters to them or what they need. i wrote her an e-mail about a month after she left and she has neglected to respond, maybe i’m just a drama king or i’m reading too much into things but i’m still into her, man. and when i would pull back, he would start with all the sweet stuff again. i’m in this situation where i suppose he’s ‘freaking out’ and he keeps starting to make plans with me then not follow through. asked what he didn’t miss (since he seemed to be saying he miss everything!’ve had a pretty roller coaster type of relationship (said i’d never do that again) with me basically giving him a hard time for not following through on dates, cancelling last minute, not responding to texts/phone calls, etc. i think it is men like you who offer strong, transparent and forthcoming knowledge on men and women and how the mashup of the two creates profound experiences is helpful. girlfriend reminded me of that saying “never allow a guy to be your priority, when to him you’re just an option”…we need to remember that! he tells me back (frankly i think its like a toss away during sex one but that’s fine) we get released that morning., i’m really confused by his behavior, my friends say i should just forget him but i really feel like we could have something great and i’m not ready to throw in the towel just yet. of my best long term relationships started with sex on the first date. i just really hope i didn’t make the situation worse by being kind of needy in the beginning of his freak out phase…i was just confused. he did tell me that his main focus and priority was his boys, which i get because i’d never make him choose between me and his kids.. i live on one side of texas ans she lives on the other we have been together and also talking for 8 moths next month. i have recently in the last 5 months been seeing a guy i have known for over two years. i have never felt anything like this for a woman before and she feels the same even though we are both in our 40s. cause it does bother me (and that is me being me) and so i let him know that that isn’t cool. my husband and i have been to counseling and have decided to divorce. i put the cell phone in a different room so i wont look at it to see if he has txt or called. i do c other guys and trying not to obsess… but i really like pt in the gym, he is funny and clever . i told him, ok, i do see a future and and that he is the one for me, but you can’t steer feelings, and if he doesn’t have them, i take that as a fact. it's really easy for other people to say "run" but ultimately, your intuition needs to drive the bus. says that we are “friends” yet he hits on me sometimes. he started out being nice and kind and wanting to date exclusively and wanting to see me all the time and showing so much interest at first; so of course i wanted more and he told me he wanted to slow things down after about two months then later said he was not ready for a serious relationship so we stop dating. testing him out on the sly and basically giving him no respect. have been dating this guy for over 4 months now on and off. none of us fight about picking up the slippers, newspapers etc. remember when i was 18, for a year i was madly in love with a girl 5 years older. he asked for space, and i dont want to cause further damage, so how do i go about contacting him without doing so. some such adventures to have with this sign could include watching a documentary, checking out a museum, spending an entire afternoon at a bookstore, going to a park to stare at the clouds while having a philosophical discussion and/or travelling abroad, to name a few. maybe he misses the feeling of being recognized or appreciated for what he brings to the world. for this, i like the approach to keep the focus on what we want for ourselves without making it all about him. i also assume you and your boyfriend are no older than 25 yrs old. the beginning, the guy really just wants to make you like him. what i have just read of your own experience, it seems that you are suffering from a case of ‘dater disrespect’. you have now been with this man for more than five years. i don’t know what else goes on in his head.’ve been reading through these articles- and as a man i actually think they’re very good and in a lot of cases as relevant to men as they are to women. i never initiated contact because i didn’t want to seem needy or too eager (i was trying not to repeat past mistakes). i was going to visit him in florida, but then he came with the idea to go to hawaii..Hi lauren, i'm going through kinda the same thing with a few minor differences. as a woman seems to be a catch-22 in every way possible! i’ve held back from contacting him, and focused on being present with my friends, and my own life. of the big problem with women is we are all too easy b/c we want it or we feel if we don’t give, another girl will snatch him. if one wants to get closer to an aquarius, one must request the closeness. he accepted my fb friend request a year ago but we didnt communicate. everyone wants to be liked, it’s a really great feeling for both men and women. i get one more txt from him saying he had to go back to the hospital but he will call me the next day. i think if more women broke it off the second he started exploring his options and flaking out, men would shape up. was caught off guard when he started to withdraw about 2 months ago… then for 10 days i gave him space… i let him initiate contact, when he did i would jump at the opportunity to talk to him (via text) then i would try to call him and he would not answer the phone, so after i thought about it… i decided to let him know that i got the hint and that i understood that we were no longer in our ldr… he asked me to be his “friend” and at first i agreed… then after some more thought and some serious soul searching, i decided that i was not willing to accept the altered state of our relationship, i didn’t want to be his friend. ugh meanwhile he’s extremely busy, i have asked to see him probably 4 or 5x over the last month and a half and he explains all that he’s busy doing, major work committments and family issues. i guess i’m still on that classic denial state. you start getting on his case (“why didn’t you call? one of the most insightful things i’ve read in a long time. besides , i told him i haven’t done anything like that in my whole life. we spent friday saturday and even sunday together but there was none of that 'honeymoon' phase where she was completely infatuated with me. all the while he has been telling me how scary it is how much he likes me, how he’s always going to spoil me, how he’s so thankful for me to be in his life, how awesome i am, and how happy he is with me. from what you’ve described here, the man has been very open and honest about where he is in life. i almost want to run from this whole thing because i like her so much and after today i feel like i am just setting myself up to get hurt. before i left (on thursday evening), she said "i'm sorry i can't go but i'll make it up to you. just remember, the more balanced she feels, the more confidently she can fall in love with you. i followed your advice and sent an e-mail saying everything you said to say and two days later this is what i got "glad ur having a good week. weeks later, he texts me one night asking how i’ve been and that he’d been out of town again for awhile. but without solid ground beneath her, a woman can get lost in the strength and comfort of the arms holding her up. i wanted her passion to be what she was doing. the way you broke everything down step by step wasn’t only cohesive, it was also very easy to relate to…maybe a little too well in my case. and it’s quite possible he’s seeing many other girls too but he also told me that he removed himself from the online site as it became too much work and he didn’t have nice experiences with it. or you know, to continue the metaphor, should you ever drop her!

Being a Challenge to Women (& REALLY Turning Them On) | Girls

but then 5 days later i get blocked out of the blue. we have both expressed that we like eachother more than we expected. [read: is a girl with a boyfriend flirting with you? but when you question a man and don’t get a response, or he tells you he’s not interested, be the survivor: dust yourself off, pick up your coat and have the dignity to walk away from it. after realizing that we probably didn’t have a future anyway…it just doesn’t seem right to put my dignity on the line. 292 shares share to all the single girls: this is why you’re going to bed alone tonight. so i have a couple questions here…is this the freak out phase, or is he done with me? ironically, he contacted me the day after i did it asking why i deleted him and saying he didn’t understand why because he thought we could still talk to each other and be “friends”. when he’s ready, he’ll come looking for you. 1,285 share share who am i kidding—you were never mine to begin with. well, on saturday night he called me up at 1am to come over (note that we live within a mile from each other) to hang out because he missed me and we hadn’t seen each other in a week. normally don’t get this way about guys, and i wasn’t 100 percent sure i was into him until he kissed me that way. this article saved me from being pushy, needy, and chasing him, instead of the other way around. we both are and we get each other like no other. we've been in touch since day1 through text, phone calls and meetup,etc. he never mentioned before that he’s taking his female pa with him even though he told me that after visiting me he’s going to go to singapore for a medical conference. he said “it’s easy for u to say when ur not the one dealing with it. truth is that it is very difficult to move on. we were together best part of 5 years and lived togther for 2,everything was great until we moved in…then things started to go downhill. so after a week later, i talk to her and she's seems to care about me more than a friend. so if you were flakey and nonchalantly he could have taken that as rejection also. he was acting very cold and distant saying he doesnt want a relationship even though l told him that l didnt either from the start since l”m still not divorced. i even deleted a childhood friend, 2 men that i grew up thinking were my cousins and none of these do i ever talk to by phone or in person and very, very rarely on facebook. things every man is looking for in a relation­ship. anyway the next three weeks were pretty much the same including canceling on my trip to atlanta at the last minute which was very frustrating! 594 shares share it’s not about us being right for each other, but that we’re wrong for anyone else. i know a guy who has acted interested in me for months, even though we have only been friends. can you offer any insight from a male perspective as to the thoughts men have when they are still growing as individuals, but are overcome with self-doubt?!), and that he thought that after 3 months we would be able to talk, but if its too hard for me to talk to him about my life then he would understand, i sensed he was thinking i was some emotional mess (which i’m not! on wednesday he felt distant and we talked about him being overwhelmed at work. then 4 days later i text him that i wanted to rekindle the relationship again, no reply. he was a recovering aa member until this past july. a clingy , needy or jealous woman is the ultimate turn-off for any man sizing up the potential of a new relationship. she even wanted to leave her job and follow me to the company i worked at. know what you’re looking for instead of just diving in. he would always look at me straight in the eye and it will last for quite a few minutes not only seconds and it is being repeatedly done, does he give me some signals for those stare he gave me. i wanted to have a chat and asked to meet up, but she sent a brusque text saying to stop calling. i still remain friends with the other guy but keeping my distance. what i want to know is how long you should give it?. says the worst type of things like im a psycho. i asked if he had plans for lunch, and he said sorry, i do. things were going great and then all of a sudden he “freaked out. shared this with my girls that always ask me “why? continued to call me everyday, chat with me, text and im for the next two weeks until he vanished for 4 days. we texted and talked that whole weekend and on monday we went on our first date. i don’t want him to think i’m “hooked” but i also don’t want him to think i’m not interested. he is a very strong and capable man but he is also very sensitive and his feelings are easily hurt. it’s crazy how simple straightforward advice helps when you are in the funk period. my kids are very attached to him, and i told him in the beginning if he does not want a serious relationship i dont want to get involved because i have kids. is, if one or two members of the audience keep bringing up the same point over and over again, then it’s no longer a discussion. he ends it with, “i haven’t shut the door on us. but that was like a stab in the heart and i'm giving her space and not contacting her and told her if she needs anything if she wants to go out for coffee anything to please give me a call or text me. anyway im not looking for a relationship at this stage, just looking for a bit of fun etc – but ive noticed he’s withdrawing away from me and i dont want that. he took my parking pass to my apt while he was here w/o permission and refuses to return it because he says he needs it. he says he would do anything for me, but that right now he doesn’t know what he wants. he listed pretty much everything and said he was nostalgic of the relationship…. i was the one doing ‘the work’ for the dating in end, offering the supply. seems like you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t! i may be reeling inside, but i will do my best to respect her needs at this time. ppl say he loves u and misses u: his stress makes him feel diff at the moment. but i know that this type of girl is dangerous. lauren, i recently told my girlfriend, who i love very much, that i wasn't sure that i wanted to be married so soon. i know my questions sound needy and he freaked out. man has a ready smile every time he sees me, his face lights up and his eyes get big. i am going thru the same thing exactly like this.” i tried to calm him down over text and said plz relax babe. it felt like he didn’t want the relationship to go anywhere beside stay put. we have been seperated for a month and a half and are going through all the paperwork. if i thought you were straight-up hating, i wouldn’t have written a real response to you. i will admitt i can be needy, and i have mood swings, and i over react, but it’s because he does not ever do what he says.. with her there and me here she would call and i will know exactly how shes laying are what shes doing. i am learning is that guys are “sensory” human beings. but through several other discussions with that member, it’s been made clear that no resolution was going to be reached – i can’t pour my energy into talking in circles with the same members of the audience over the same things. interest is in being effective and helping people get the results they want in their dating lives. i responded, acted like nothing was wrong but casually asked “so what’s up with the text, since you’ve been mia for awhile? the point that particularly hits home is your conclusion in regards to saying whatever you want without needing a particular response. as you can read in my own post…but if you’re paying attention at all or even reading your own comment post…know that you need to relax and actually relax. that lasted for a few weeks and he must have seen the signs quickly. i mean it this way…i am a busy girl. seriously think the problem is women and the fact that they will sit around and wait for a man to make up his mind whether or not she’s a “challenge”. you eric, actually just reading that made me feel a little better and let things go mentally. now would be the time to start exploring those, so that you have exciting things in your life to fill you up versus looking to your relationship to fill you up. lauren, like everyone on here i could use alittle input as well, ive been seeing this girl for bout 3 months and to be honest it couldn't be better! i love her and she said she wants to love her still she really did. i dont understand why that is significant to the problem., amazingly i received this text within 30 minutes of my previous post from her "lori, i feel lika a bad human, i know i should call, but i can't for some reason. he also said he is not ready for marriage for next two years. i havent text him or call him and same as him. should be the link:Mostly, really long stories don’t get much response, so if you can shorten it, you’ll have more chance getting an answer.: can the “freak out phase” happen when you’ve been together a year and a half or so as opposed to in the beginning of a relationship? i think this takes the edge off the whole "needing space" issue, giving men and women an outlet without needing sooo much time away. also, it’s nice to have guys like you, but remember: you may not be that in to him if you slow down and think about it. with all due respect, it sounds to me you’re getting ahead of yourself though. she started by canceling on dates with me then a email saying she needed some time. she said her nerves are shot, that she doesnt know whats wrong, its nothing i said or did. before we were speaking every 2 hours by texting and spending a lot lot time together with her and with her kids. i was taking it slow, he was testing me with sweetness to see my response…but when i sped up the pace, he would try pushing me away in the nastiest ways possible by accusing me of hurting him. he still throws in snide comments and smart remarks, sometimes out of the blue. also, it will send a warning to others about this person. before she left we made plans for this coming thursday. our first date we met out and grabbed a couple of drinks. last thing he said to me was to stop going crazy and that ‘we’re cool’. about a month and a half ago, started chatting again by chance… went out again, had sex again… and then he starts iming me everyday for a month or so… he said he wants us to “talk”. if you don’t want him to cheat, don’t waste your energy on blaming him, accusing him, distrusting him, suspecting him or punishing him. if you’d like my help with your relationship question, click here. but now when we’re not together, he seems very distant and not as enthusiastic with his texts.. (obviously she didn't since she was with me) she didn't sleep at all since we would just be having sex the whole weekend specially that sunda. i've told her that i love her, which i do more than i would have ever thought. just like coming right out and saying i want a boyfriend or a husband even though you didnt say it had to be him can throw him off to think it is him. he is more protective of his heart than i could ever be of mine. i’ve apologized, and the no contact for almost two months, and still i send him an email at the end of the week? it’s about having choice of who you will dating and not choosing a man until he’s explicitly locked you down. if he wants to be friends, and you want to be in his life, then just be friends (no sex). he called me two days later but never called me again..there are always different kind of likes, i’ts trying to figure out if it’s a romantic interest or not. i took him to a baseball game with my family after about 5 weeks and he got to meet them. in the end she told me the relationship was off and that she wanted me to keep away from her! four months into my stay, jan 4th of 2015, i caught him doing some hard flirting with woman on messenger. not “cheating”, but flirting… she’s interested in him and he likes the ego-boost of a girl being into him. right after a breakup there’s too much emotions involved for someone to be logical, therefore it is not a good idea to get back together and try to work things out quickly. this was a long distance relationship, he already has visited me once. a fight and say something that’ll hurt her ego, which would bring out her inner monster and make her hate you. i’ve just been in a bit of a difficult relationship recently which he broke off suddenly (he gave me reasons, none of which make any sense) but i have been reading a lot of your articles on here and it has helped so much. “i love you” on friday night and not to speak to me all weekend (my birthday too) because he was supposedly having a hard time with his job situation. i am a gay woman and have been dating a wonderful lady for only about 3 weeks. and when he was home, he called me multiple times in a day and he brought me everywhere even if he was with the guys. i later found out from a friend on same site he was emailing and seeing other women. i read this article and i was shaking my head the whole time! if a guy can’t be upfront and communicate well, that’s another red flag. she desperately wants to keep me a secret from him and her friends, even though we have been going out for so long. men have to believe it’s possible you are ‘the one’ for them to be compelled to step up to the plate. the other person has malicious intentions will put you on guard to them, which will subconsciously put them on guard to you. why do i have to pretend i’m ok with flakiness, breaking plans, forgetting to call someone back? so having a life filled with variety and interesting, fun things to do will prevent you from falling into the trap of “neediness”. during the weekend, she broke down about other stresses in her life and eventually she said she has no where to go. i was slow and cautious and had my own thing going on and tried to slow things down but he was persistent. until recently, i’ve turned down guys who have asked me out b/c i know it will take a mature, mentally strong male to understand me, and be ok with my always ‘being busy’. a subconscious level, you are always comparing what you are getting to what you wish you were getting., you may have planned your wedding day and the birth of your first two children, but those are just fantasies in your mind. so after the movie, i was like you know “i didn’t ask your friend to tell you i liked u but yeah that’s about the size of it. i was neither withholding nor giving in on the whole sex thing to try and manipulate him one way or another. however for the one year he never bought for me any gift,never said i love you, although he told me that he has very strong feelings for me and he feels that i am the gal for her, but i dont feel the same towards him. (he knows he will have to get a hotel room). but she’s always warm and flirty over the phone, or while texting each other. he is being persistent concerning dinner but we have yet to set a dinner date. i have never loved someone so deeply and it's hard to imagine how she could be so willing to let this go possibly for good. he seems happy when we’re actually out and asks to see me again another day at the end. a guy tells you that you are already getting too close to me,,,but doesnt want to break up and wants to continue seeing each other when we can,,and i need some advice on keeping him,,and make it work. that she has a million things going on and not enough time in a day to please everyone.’s just so hard when i get to see him, i try to think we’re just friends and profession colleagues, but there’s something strong that stirs up in me. lauren gray, my names kristie, the girl i am with does what we call her distance thing. i havent heard from him/nor contacted him for over a week. it is so hard when we love someone and they don’t love us the same. a week and two days later i saw him he couldn’t stop staring at me but looked away suddenly. after 2 times being in bed she woke up one morning feeling guilty about hurting my wife, even without knowing how close was my separation, that everything went to fast and the affection started to develop so she got scared and has to reassess and needs time for her. i guess we really weren’t in a relationship after all even though he indicated we were and called me his girlfriend in front of all my friends. if you know she’s dated a particular guy before and she claims she never dated that guy, but they were just friends, she’s definitely leading you on too! the following day we spoke and he apologized for not being able to go with me to concert but that his mom had an a great time then our call was disconnected and i havent heard from him yet it’s been 10 days. btw, when a man says he is in love with a woman and wants her and she is important to him, but he would only email her, be her friend and doesn’t want to be anywhere near her or even talk to her on the phone, should she still believe that he is in love with her? i expressed to him a couple of days later via text that i was glad he was doing well but honestly thought he disappeared on me, he instantly replied saying that it wasn’t the case, he always cares about me. it’s all very well playing it cool and giving the guy space for the first couple of months but doesn’t there come a point where you need to be upfront about what your needs and desires are and say goodbye if they are not being met? she blows hot and cold, and she just expects you to cater to her whims and fancies as and when she needs your attention. really confuses me when he told me that he wanted me but he is worried that i won’t fit on his lifestyle. i have been going through a divorce and i have kids..and not just instinct but logic and common sense too. would he kiss me that passionately if he wasn’t interested ? anyway, i don't want to overthink it, but it's obviously tough when you don't really know what's going on. i resolved it the exact same way as the advice here. but he kept tearing saying he didn’t give me the best birthday ever and thinks he’s a failure at everything. my coworker, i will call him gemini teased me about it and of course when we were at work the next day, he couldn’t wait to tell everyone had i had a secret admire at the gym and teased me the hell about this other guy. saying he would never hurt me, that he really likes me and my values. i recently did that on a thursday to set up a date for sunday. he never had a problem with me getting something i see and i buy it. you’ve heard all your life that guys don’t want girls who “give it up easy”. the only conclusion i could draw from this – is that i wasn’t giving him enough attention? whenever we make plans, i’ll ask him “so were hanging out for sure right? but my heart is hurting thinking she is going to flee. but if all of the lightheartedness is a ploy for a means to an end, you are only short changing yourself and deserve to be in a situation where the communication and expectations are natural and free flowing and not feigned. love this website, its my first time reading a couple of these articles and it totally makes sence. i haven’t contacted him and we had contact everyday..The other common scenario for a man sudden disappearance or apathy is meeting another woman and being distracted by her. even if you text him right now and he responds.@jane – that’s rough, i’m sorry to hear that happened to you. seeing different people and that’s really it, nothing serious. he jokes and says “i always know when you’re single. honestly that was one way that i knew we had a really good relationship (or whatever you want to call it) because i didn’t have to think about when was the right time to sleep with him. i guess at this point i am wondering if she is still in her 'cave' and will she emerge again and reach out to me or has she decided she just can't deal with this intensity right now and just wants to flee.. texting vs calling sometimes too, following through with plans etc) versus how they act on the date… and i agree with that theory as i’ve experienced the same thing. if you do hear from him, he may step up his efforts when you give him the space and he realizes you won’t initiate contact with him. question is – since he’s being so distant recently, why is it? Read these foxy signs she's leading you on and taking you nowhere. say to yourself…it was just a kiss, a very nice kiss, the end. we became friends rather quickly and we eventually admitted to liking each other as more than friends. there were literally no warning signs, everything was going so well and then he just dropped off the face of the earth! i'm confused i know i shouldn't contact her and i'm not i was thinking about a week or maybe a week and a half text her something like ( hope you have a. anyways yes i did spend the night and now when i text him it just seems like he isnt interested.. how high is your self esteem in general when you are with this man (not only when he once in a while kisses you)? not wanting to make a scene out of nothing ive quietly observed these behaviors hoping there would be some sort of change. that can be quite the relationship ruiner in this case, depending on how old you both are. we’ve had an incredible time the past few months and my feelings have gotten really strong. uh-oh…the beginning of dependency is rearing its ugly head…beep beep beep!’m looking for a little advice on my current relationship. you don’t have time to waste on finding out wth “eventually” means! makes an aquarius heart skip a beat faster than another human being that can match wits. all that tends to go out the window when the line is crossed. he gets a blowout on the way and i tell him if something is meant to be we have a lifetime to discover it no problem lets reschedule. for awhile he had been talking to me about my gym membership ( one i had been paying for monthly but not been going to the gym as i hate to alone) he too use to have a membership a couple years prior to the same gym. maybe he has a fantasy that he thinks you’d be unwilling to explore with him.– friday comes and he responds less but said i love u and miss u. i also wouldn’t give him any real flirting, i was trying to keep it as “just friends” which is what he said he wanted. well at the end of the day, a sought after man will choose his very best option available to him. she probably tells you she’s been in very few relationships too. my deep gut intuition was not to give up on this woman. it all became clear he still had feeling for me and he was starting to miss me this and the fact that he i saw him sad a few weeks before that (in his car i saw him but he didn’t see me) was enough to show me this was it but i no longer care…he lost his chance and i’m pretty sure his aware of that now as instead of running up to him and asking him i walked past with my head held high.’s very easy to pinpoint a girl who’s just toying with your heart. i returned home he would text me as if he did nothing wrong so i ignored his texts. but as i can see it, he is just looking for a fling.” and he gave me some of his clothes to wear home on our second date. i think that following your opinion would do a good deal of damage to their dating / relationship success. she’s playing you and you’re falling for all her tricks because your love for her clouds your judgment. in fact, i always supported what she wanted to do. he wants a woman who can stand by his side, not move ahead of him. called him several days later telling him l love him and he said ok. question is, should i contact him after all this time, just to say i hope you are doing well? the hard part about now is we can see that they are online but not responding to us. i’ve read that women push or want to close the gap. would you have any other advice for a guy believing for a second chance? the universe doesn’t blow winds at the same speeds in all directions. aquarius is a terrific problem solver—if the problem is something that needs a rational solution. i am currently in a relationship and have been with my girlfriend for 2 years and a half and its been a week since we haven't talked. either way, he needs time and space from you to deal with his issues. life, real feelings, and natural relationship transitions will bring enough drama to the mix. she asked for time and space (which for the most part i have been giving her) and it threw me for a loop. so it’s your job to have her read this blog post and initiate the conversation of finding a good way for her to set her boundary that works for both of you. i have another birthday coming up i decided it was time to help all of those other people out there understand the 11th astrological sign on the zodiac calendar just a little bit better.’d actually never heard of your site but i was checking it out for a friend because she is in the “freak out stage” right now and isn’t sure what to do. and he was moody all the time like a kid! her reason was the ny trip made her realize she wants/needs to work on herself. i ask if i can help and he says no. yeh maybe there is more but i need to think about myself and what’s best for me if he wants to make things right he knows how to find me. we went and he said at the moment he didn’t feel the same after all the stress and hugs me saying he is afraid to lose me and i mean so much to him. i know he’s testing me, but what should i reply to him? so him texting you sweet things and saying all that mushy stuff and being really attentive is just his way of hooking you in and it’s not really him expressing his feelings. does he not want me and if not why won’t he just tell me., tell me what you think 🙂 i really can nt read this guy! nevertheless things haven’t changed much, he’s still distant and more importantly, he hasn’t asked me to officially be his girlfriend. behind our cool exteriors a lot of men stress just as much, about similar things. even if they say they’re not involved, if anything seems off or unclear, go with your gut feeling. thing, i just had this conversation with the guy i’m seeing. but if he’s testing the waters, he probably wouldn’t admit it right now. always, guys do it b/c he wants to know if he can get better than the girl he’s dating and whether the girl is needy. my question is, did i screw it up by being pushy and is there a way to fix this? when you get that “something”, you feel like you’re on the top of the world. i want to take things slow and i want to be cool and collected. guess i am wondering if i will see him again..I didn’t see him for 2 months until last week when he texted me to see if he could come over. at this point, the guy realizes that you really like him, he has you, and he’s no longer worried that he could lose you to another guy. i’m just saying that at this early phase, it’s all just poetry. as strange as it sounds, he’s likely either not going to answer or just give you a a vague answer if you ask him “am i wasting my time? i have never got that vibe from my guy but he did warn me from the start that he has a tendency to pull away when things get close. i followed advice number 2 and found another decent guy who had the courage to ask me out., a lot of women tell me what that they’re not getting what they need from the guy. within that month he and i were completely infatuated with one another. more or less told me that he knew i was a good woman and that he dated other women who did not compared with me without him using the word (compare). i got so used to hearing that generic bitter “loose the guy and never talk again,” but i obviously had a little faith for some other answers and here i am! i’m not backing out of my decision but just for future reference. people are so different, so complex, at different stages of their lives. she even got an invite to tour two companies she would love to work for. was the last text he sent me and i didn’t respond…. you’re stuck in the clutches of a girl who leads you on, you have no choice. i have tried this before and it works plus your taking care of yourself as well. this is my cue to leave and do something fun for me: meditating, walking, playing guitar, gardening, baking, hanging with friends and family or playing with my mom’s dog. she said she wished this had happened at another time., it’s when the woman truly just does her own thing and isn’t paying attention that the guy usually comes back and says he’s been a fool and then you talk it out. on the one hand, we are supposed to stay busy if a guy doesn’t call and on the other hand, we are supposed to share feelings and set standard to strengthen our bond. especially since she has be very self sufficient her whole like and has admitted problems about opening up - the last thing i want to do is smother or pressure her. he texted me late on the 5th, i responded really late on the 6th and haven’t heard from him since. anyways we finally went out on a date and he introduced me to his friends and we went dancing and had a bonfire. if you are exclusive, you obviously love her and vice versa so give her time. in general, looking at the problems of our life without the clouding lens of negative emotions often is 90% of the path to success. he’ll only put enough effort to keep sleeping with you, not to have a real relationship. he kissed me and hugged me before i go and told me that he’s proud of me for being calm and showed dignity under the unexpected circumtances. which is no surprise since martians love autonomy and venusians love community. i know i get excited about people, especially about a guy that i have so much in common with and can see myself being happy with. a week and two days later i saw him he couldn’t stop staring at me but looked away suddenly. i recently asked when i would see him a gain and hé said september would be busy. for example: if he’s 25, he’s barely just “starting” his life. we spent five out of seven days in the next week together. she hasn't cancelled or said she wants to talk, but should i be concerned? lifting the pressure of the relationship in this way can really help the relationship to blossom, especially in the beginning.– “that being said, i would appreciate the man i am dating be consistent and so would have been nice to hear from you while you were away also” = setting standards, sharing feelings, not being a doormat. he knows that i’m not interested in that sort of thing.. the weekend previous to the start of her semester she was supposed to study for an exam she had coming that same up coming week. he didn’t offer to talk it out or anything. he had a lot of personal issues going on at the time and he didn’t feel very equal in the financial relationship (me making more then he). he is not at all good looking , while i am quite pretty. it’s been 4 days, i’m hoping he comes back…. up for ourfree newsletterand get a free chapterof our book,"he's notthat complicated". a “happy birthday” just as a nice gesture and let it be. my point is though, we put so much responsibility on the guy to pursue and to chose and to be assertive but those things are required of us too. way of getting out of it was to simply stop calling her or trying to explain whats wrong. which i guess is why she wouldn’t call it a relationship, and the guy would feel led on. learning about each other, first kiss, first 'sleepover', intimate stories and secrets - it really has gone very well and has taken me by storm. as a typical male, i immediately freak out and not know what to do, however in the end, i did come around to the idea of having a time of ourselves for both of us. i thought that was disrespecting and previous i got a hair pin in his bedroom and when i asked him about it, he ran out of the room and i just laughed it off. he says it’s these situations that makes him drink. i tried to not asking him again in order to not be needy, but was looking for airfares everyday (silly me), in case i could visit him in florida as the original plan. he lives 2 hours away, so i can’t see him and i’m super confused. when i gave her the cold shoulder she tried different strategies to make me come back and lead me on. she has 6 college classes a full time job and a little girl she says she overloaded. i’m like how that makes me feel when my bday passed by and u said u haven’t been feelin the same lately. he said he thought about all my qualities and did not see them in other woman. would be near-impossible for a guy to cheat if he were totally and completely fulfilled by his relationship. if you want to make this about you being right, that’s fine. i appreciate that you take the time to recognize that most people are driven by their own insecuritiea and that it is important to realize what you can and can’t change/control. she needs her alone time, probably a couple of nights a week, and we've figured that out without much trouble. it’s true that when the right man comes into your life, games won’t be necesary…. he may be genuinely tired, so give the poor guy some breathing space, and if he wants to get in touch he will. i admit maybe we moved in a little too soon but i repeatedly asked him if he was ready and he was just as excited as i was. at the point he tells you he thinks youre cool as a friend then you let him know your boundaries so you wont be in a state of question again. she gets overwhelmed easily and has a hard time dealing with it. next time you hear from him, tell him something like “i really enjoy your company and our dates were fun but i am looking for a boyfriend (key don’t say you need him to be your boyfriend) so i’m calling this off and i wish you all the best” be willing to walk away if he still isn’t “ready”. he just moved back to our area last may – after being gone for 30 years. was thinking yesterday and asked him what time we will be meeting so we can discuss this because i’m confused. his behavior is nice to one time, ignores me the next. over the next few months we grew to know each other and love each other more deeply. and he got upset and said no ill drop u all the way to the train. and supposedly in two weeks (since he works two weeks, one week off) we are going to get together as he says. we had another date and it was another awesome date. he does not even talk to his mother for weeks though he does not have a father and he is her only child. after i was very nonchalant, he started doing his best for me, which lasted short unfortunately, mainly because we took up the pattern again that i initiate contact. well, the next week, a mutual friend told her that i had feelings for her, so i figured i might as well tell her myself because she already knows. you know… i would be willing to split-test different templates. for whether or not he’s no longer interested… if he “broke up” with you before his freak out, then that might not really be a freak out. sign up for email updates and i'll get right on that follow up blog post for you. i have a text he sent to the woman who is married to one of his coworkers that are getting divorced telling her he misses her to and to call him anytime. my friends and my kids now think i should dump him. we fight about our need for love and respect not being met or being met incorrectly. within three days of arriving back home i noticed that she seemed to be a bit cold towards me with her texts. reduction in communication could be a warning side or it could be two sided. i have been dealing with mine for 4 years and he still perplexes me.’s be honest, no matter how perfect you are, you are going to eventually make a mistake, have a bad day, say the wrong thing or pull away for your own cave time. i was too angry & felt that was a lame excuse because he could easily have sent me a message letting me know. i have alot of things going on in my life, and i am really quite active and occupied, but i want to make time for him. you’ll hardly notice that he hasn’t called and he’ll pick up on that. if he still wants to be with you and doesn’t criticize you for just being you, then he’s worth more effort. i do believe you hit the nail on the head. i don’t want to bug him too much by asking, especially if its not in person (if it comes up i might ask). own your feelings and be honest with who you are dating. for instance, if he needs space to re-evaluate and think about what he wants, that’s fine. that guy was not fully mature and was not that into me. i met my fiancé he had just come out of a bad divorce where his ex wife had blamed him a lot. he says he does to, but i seem to be the only one really doing that 100% and then some. i want him back, and i feel awful if it came off that i was selfish. a guy: getting back together with an ex…is it ever a good idea?” that got hme mad and i said i pay tuition and then i do pay other things so we all go thru this phase but why beat yourself over it. over the next couple of weeks, she was more reluctant to meet up, yet was very intimate when we would. i’m so over him but i need my pass. so i keep distance just in case… i dnt want things to get awkward. i made plans to spend that evening with my girlfriends. he said “we met at the worst time, we just have to get through finals and then in the summer we can go up north, go to the pool together, etc. you’re in a complicated relationship with a girl who’s just leading you on, you need to realize that her subtle manipulation tactics are just screwing your mind. everything means something in the beginning of a relationship; everything either builds trust or dissolves it. so- he wants to keep dating me after that first date and even landed a kiss on me…. now he’s being distant and won’t really text me back, but when he does the messages stop instantly. i can wait to tell people what you said (although i’m sure may of them wont listen to me because they don’t know who you are lol). if he ends up with me great, if he doesnt, oh well. i’m scared to lose her because she’s absolutely perfect and everyone says it. he looks at me and shows the card on his keychain and says ” i got that gym membership so now you will have someone to go with and we are going as soon as possible” …we indeed started that day after work. gemini on another day came to me and asked me ” what if he asks you out? not only did you reject him but you conveyed he and his efforts weren’t enough to move you past or even through it.

Josh henderson dating history