Life after dating a married man
Affair Survival: Tips For Dating a Married Man | The Huffington Post
i have been noticing all of his lies, his manipulations and his disappearing acts on weekends, holidays and leave. i just want you to be open to the possibility that this man is not the man you thought he was and that’s the reason why he doesn’t care. of course i thought it was different, like many, but at least now i feel less alone., i took the decision today that i have to leave my married man, i just don’t know how, i search for help and here i am… i really want to be with him one more time, smell his chest and hug him soooo hard.. i’ve been dating this guy for over ten months now but we just broke up, he lives with his baby mama and they have a one year old daughter but he made me understand he is about to separate from her and that they stayed together because she got pregnant but that i should be patient for the baby to grow up a little . then he told he will divorce his wife(he is married since 25 years with one son, and one daughter who has died at the age of 3, who also shares the same birth year as mine), but i don’t wanted to be a family breaker so i forbid him not to do so. why do you leave the door open for the married man? many people tell me not to say anything to his wife, but i did to give me some peace. my mm basically doesnt want to do this anymore bc we are both married. but it’s scarier to think about how living off the crumbs of your married man will destroy you. there’s something wrong about that sentence because no princess would be kept in the dark and be given such pain by a man. started seeing each other 8 months ago, it was always to be sex and he said he couldn’t make me any promises that was the mantra of our relationship. always knew being with a married man would be heartbreaking and i was right. many things she didnt know about him, or he never thought to share. in looking back, i understood that the two relationships prior to first meeting my married man in my twenties, both partners had betrayed me in our ‘committed’ relationships. you’re here because you want to be free of the guilt, shame, and self-loathing that accompanies cheating with another woman’s husband. then i got married to my on again off again bf while he was in korea and had never indicated he wanted more. i worked out of town and went home to find my husband had another woman living in my house. met a woman in a coffee shop this morning, and we started talking and lo and behold she also had broken off an affair with a married man, what are the chances? love yourself and you will learn and understand that you’re more than a man who wants you because he’s not confident enough or man enough because of his problems since childhood. 15 years ago we were both unmarried, my then boyfriend kinda not really now husband was a heavy drinker. he was having performance problems with her so i barely got it 1x/week for fear if she might want some he’d have to do it.. he is a best friend of a family member of mine and he is married with a baby, i on the other hand should know better as am six years older than him, and have teens and am single, my choice split from the kids dad a year and half ago, never the right relationship for either of us. because he could not muster the courage to do the right thing until now, he let me down so many times that i did not have much hope anymore. but once, i used another account to look for his facebook updates and what i saw was his posts of their honeymoon trip to maldives with the hashtag #anywherewithwifeisbest, and another post that said “being with the one you love is the best thing in this world” – i broke down completely, who i am to this man? i spoke to my married man after 10 days of no contact. have written before how my married man and his wife are expecting. or maybe deep down you secretly enjoy the secrecy and lies, dishonesty and pain of having an affair with a married man. with my married man almost a year and a half. may you see how valuable and worthwhile you are, and know that you deserve to be loved by a man who is 100% committed and available to you. i saw him and had a huge crush on him but found out he was married so i forgot all about him. just told my married man that i can no longer do this. is utter rubbish and now i realise, a free man can be loved from head to toe inside out 24/7 so much more than the attached men! are my thoughts too, we have husbands that love us & i know if he ever found out about my married man i would lose it all and cause so much hurt in the process to my kids, my husband. that was 6 weeks ago and he has been round for sleepovers twice ( how can she put up with this) and yesterday he turned up after 11 days no contact (my choice) to tell me how much he loves me, how sorry he is for hurting me and i’ve told him not to come again and not to contact me again, i need more than crumbs of this man and his wife needs him to step up and be the man she thought she had married. you all i pray god almighty give us the grace to move on with our lives and give us the man made for us amen. been in affair for 5 yrs, and iv just ended it , his reply was i want your cunt, well says it all doesn’t, it, no i love you, please dont leave, for him it was just sex , as in the 5 yrs he never ever bought me anything, took me out, no birthday cards nothing, and the stupid fool i was i let it happen, because i loved him, of course he said the usual things that he lived in a sexless marriage, that he hated her, but never said he would leave her, they still had their holdays together, and there is no children, since i ended it its, over a week now haven’t heard a word since, and i never will contact him, what a waste of soul destroying 5yrs, never ever will i become involved, with a married man again, and the stress is unbelievable, if my children ever found out that i had been involved with a married man they would disown me , as their father had affair, which broke up my marriage, well onwards and upwards, is all im going to do, there is someone, free out in the big wide world, and if i dont find him, im going to enjoy my stress free life. my married man and i have had the greatest time together. this man really loved you, wouldn’t he want what’s best for you and let you move on with your life? do have respect for my married man in the fact that he did not play mind game with me., i have been seeing a married man for about 8 mths and now 2 mths pregnant. this man wasn’t able to give you this attention all the time because he was married, but i am sure that there is another man for you that does. he was manipulative at times, controlling at times, selfish very often, and always turned things around on me. you think your situation is unique and that he’s different than other married men, but they’re not., i don’t say this to give you “hope” that your married man will come back, i say it because, chances are he very well could at some point. i know that he is my center and not a man especially a married one who lies to me. i had an affair for 6 years with this married man i met from work. i thought to myself — this man tells me he sleeps in different areas of the house with her, he’s not in love with her, they don’t sleep together, they barely talk, he’s only there because of his daughter, etc. you find strength and courage to stop dating this married man. is married with adult children, and i am married with children myself. my married man has 3 children, one of whom is autistic. be 21 this year 2016 i met my married man when i was 17 he is now 29. it’s a pattern with all of us who have been attached to a married man. my cousin had an affair with a guy who was much older and married for 20 years, 1 child, her teen twins…she fell pregnant and he still didn’t leave his wife…9 mths pregnant she sits outside his house in her car until he left for good…it worked. the guy who will truly love you one day will make you feel like the best woman in the world, not make you lose yourself and cry harder than ever. we were in close contact even though many miles apart. am with him for one year 2 months and initially i didn’t even know he is married until i met his wife personally in the airport when we were back from a trip. i have been with my husband for over half my life, married 22. there it all started… i knew he was married with one child. real love doesn’t make you feel the worst pain ever, and it doesn’t change you for the worse like many of us have/did through our experiences. i thought he was a widower when i met him, he failed to tell me he had remarried immediately after his wife passed away. can relate to your story on so many levels, it’s like all these married men give us the same lines and we still continue to be suckers for them. i went through a rocky divorce and he was ‘there’ as a friend, but i never crossed the line, neither did i let him do that, because he was married. many of us have, it is tough, it hurts every day, but this is doable. the author: thank you for validating the love and the relationship even though it is taboo. he still denies it today that they live as man and wife but when i ask to see the divorce papers that were signed a few months ago he refuses and he refuses for me to meet his son. dating a married man is something i looked down on others for doing and now look at me. he gets jealous if i even talk to another man at work but he can flirt and talk to any women he wants to and i shouldn’t comment. broke down and cried once today, but every time i go to do it again i have to keep reminding myself of how many lies i have told over the years. however , this impression that married men give you about how bad their marriage actually is, is blown up to sound worse than it probably is. i quit looking at my married man’s wife’s account because it’s all fake. am with a married man for coming 18 months and am trying to get out of this relationship. blocked my married lover, but of course he came to my house, i was so angry, how dare he compromise me, invade my life? he just told me that he found out today that he will be going home (he’s from out of state) and when he returns after 20 days he will be staying elsewhere, i couldn’t believe how much this hurt me, i found out about his being married a week ago and thought i had just accepted that he was a no-go but figured that i would leave him on my own timeline, this sucks! no one knows about me, even though i saw his son many times on facetime.. the universe gave us many signs during our friendship, but we ignored them and carried on.’ve put off having children because i am so deeply involved with this other man and so afraid to lose him. know what true love is, and you also know that if the married man really loved you…he’d be with you every night. my friends would never dream of being with a married man or letting themselves get into my situation so it makes talking to them very difficult. and therefore, a vulnerable woman is the perfect thing for them. as much as they say they love you, no man who truly loved a woman would put her through hell like this. is the note i sent to my married man when breaking up. we broken up so many times and got back together but now its really over. because he isn’t leaving…i used to say he ‘can’t’ leave, but it’s a choice, however it may mess things up in many ways for a while. how do i leave the man that i am so in love with. little did i know then he had proposed to this other woman. see i’m in a loveless sexless marriage and the man i’m in love with is newly married as well. of my age, i have talked to so many people (around same age) that do not have any intimacy in their marriages. my ex husband and i decided to call it quits after 7 years of being together and 1 being married (he was my high school sweetheart). i changed my attitude towards him we got closer , i let him move in my room lol, we just got super cool & i thought to myself like this too good to be true, he has a great career, not bad looking to be 42, tells me he has a daughter , & a house in texas, i said if u not married your gay, he denied being married for another month or 2, finally wen were were drunk coming from brunch heading home to cook for our friends i got it out of him, he married❗️ it’s my fault cus i should’ve broke it off then (i’ve never dated a married man), but he was like my only person who supported my decisions, & i just felt like he has my best interest in things, didn’t break it off so we lived together for 6 months whom he was here working, motivated me to get back in school, work etc got me back on track, but i’ve been feeling depressed since he left 3weeks ago❗️ i’m getting better but we are fading away, i know i deserve better & today i plan to just loose all contact, we said we were going to text & talk everyday but he slipping up!’s so insanely crazy how these married men have caused so much damage without us even knowing it at the time? the man accepts it, because he has to, he doesn’t have a choice, unless he leaves, but that is almost impossible by this point in your life. when things got tough, when i made demands or needed explanations for poor behavior, they left and just moved on. but i just cannot accept a relationship where a man’s heart is torn in two. was already jaded about married men on site because i met a guy i went on a date on and the next day, he refused to give me his last name.. he been married 3 times and cheated on all three wife…how his present wife not see this is beyond me…. had the same issue with my married man, i met him at work he was my boss, after six months he said he fell in love with me and the same with me, he was everything i wanted, he gave me attention, love and respect for 5 months and then started to change his behaviour. Here's how to break up with a married man and heal your broken heart, plus encouragement from a woman who broke up with an unavailable husband that she was cheating with.. i later went on facebook and found out he had been married 3 years now. am has wasted the most important years of my life, i can never forgive him, my chances of having children are running low at 38 yrs old and i could have spent the past 3 years dating to find the right partner rather than him manipulating me. my ex-married man, did the exact same thing to me after nearly 5 years. we still have opportunities unlike our married men stuck with their wives. the last time we spoke he mentioned he was married and had one child. i was with my married man 2 years and a half.) how did he expect us to live together and raise a child if he was married -no response. nobody knows he’s married they just know i have a “boo” i think i’ve falling in love with him and i don’t know what to do . experience after being in a relationship with a married for 6 years left me more lonely. i couldn’t go on vacations, couldn’t go to any gatherings or birthday parties because, “i’d look like a single woman”. choose you above all else, and it will change everything- your relationships with your self, kids, your married man will feel it, your family, friends , your colleagues, everyone. i had a talk with my bf who is married with kids that i decided to do the right thing and breaking him up. lost my love when i was 63 after 2 1/2 year intense emotional affair with a married man. amanda, when i was reading your story, i started crying! it’s so hard to think of all the beautiful memories we shared, yet knowing that none of it meant anything to him, which is why it’s also so hard to see him as even being human. hard thing was and i read this somewhere about affairs…the married man is far more concerned about his friends finding out and their feelings than their mistresses! you so much…my relationship with my married man sends me on drinking binges almost every weekend…i need to stop before i damage some organs in my body…i just cant seem to figure him out…i cant tell if he’s happy or unhappy with his wife…but i feel he’s comfortable…. i believe he married her, then turned her world upside down, just as he did mine. you deserve a man to be with you all the time and not just some secret get a way. i was all alone that night, i tried callin this man but he was with his wife that night so obviously didnt answer. somehow, these married men tend to know how to do that to us and yet, the price is so high. i cannot believe how many women out there have gone/going through the same thing with married men! like you are some woman who understands every bit of his foolish acts that you will be there waiting for him. a year later married man resurfaces ( there was rare but occasional contact, openly during my marriage) and we decide to meet. these married men, they never choose us, they give up on us the moments we need them the most. then, when that relationship ended unexpectedly, i got a job working with my married man, and my vulnerability let it start all over again. sent me a picture of him in the car (the last text i sent him was very romantic but he did like he did not read it or something) i did not answer, he texted “have a great evening! these men lie and manipulate and by the time you realise, you’re in love with low self esteem as a result of competing with his wife. i definitely think that not all married men are just using us but they start sinking under the weight of when fantasy turns to reality. found the strength i needed to end a secret love affair i was having with a married man. a few weeks after this happened, another married man (let’s call him fred) came to me (i don’t know what the hell it is that i do that attracts married men and i wish i did so i would stop doing it! however it does not seem so easy for them to keep a woman feeling loved, desired and happy. you for being here, and sharing how difficult it is to stop dating a married man. but it was with a married man which means there isn’t a person in my life that i’ve been able to talk it through with, and i’m still going through absolute hell. it’s not a race but it will make a huge difference and it will effect how you manage the post-break up feelings. i like many, never…ever thought i would be with a mm because like others i detested women who could do that. maybe you are not in love with your husband, but eventually, you would see the other man for who he is too. looking back i would have never married him in the first place. i started about 18 years ago when i was involved with someone myself (not married – just living together) for 7 years. be aware though, all of our situations are different and sometimes the married man will come begging you back (hoovering) immediately or like in most cases, they give you the silent treatment for however long they feel like it. they stay married because they have built a life together and it would totally be a mess if they split up. know it’s hard to think of your married men as anything less than great, but at least take the time to read the two blogs i’ve posted below and sincerely ask yourselves … “have mind games been played on me – from the beginning of the relationship up until right now? neighbor has been and still cheating on his wife…in face throughout their relationship…they been married over 17 years but together over 23 years…since dec 18 i have been talking to my other neighbors, and to realized it is a common knowledge he’s a cheater…. have had so many gifts from my relationship and the ending of it, yes it has been soul breaking, but i have kept searching for where the meaning is in all this and am finding answers and it does help with the pain and grief. still don’t know if this is is 2nd wife or 1st wife remarried. i’m stuck with this black soul of man who is not only married, but treats me like a slut. he lied to me initially that he was a divorcee but i was caught by his wife after our 9 months of dating. we loved the highs, but the lows (times without the married man), which was most of the time, destroyed us. she probably is an awesome person, who is unfortunately married to a dick who should be thankful for what he has, but has probably already headed out to find the next poor gal to enjoy the hours of 3:30-5pm with. i’ve met a couple of men i liked who were single, but they turned out to be players who want to be with many women. it is all different for everyone, but as sharon always said, please realise than most those married men if not all are narcissist and the only thing their want is their own happiness., i like to read your writing about how to deal with the thoughts of the married man and his wife. when you sleep with your boss, you entangle your love life with your financial affairs — and the best thing to do after you stop dating a married man is to get financially independent! he started to demand, to know everything and cannot even go out without his permission. it’s his manipulation tactic to try and draw me back in, and i see right through it.
6 Famous Lies of a Married Man | i’m going through the breakup process with this married man again because enough is enough. any one has the same feeling about their married men, or had, and can help somehow i will be happy to hear. is not an excuse for them and no woman should stay in a relationship like this. and i don’t know maybe i feel sorry for her that she would have to put up with a man like that., these men are all the same and use the same tools to manipulate and make us fall in love., i have been involved with my married man since 6 months and have cut off communication since 3 days. i can’t speak for all married men, but it seems to me that they enjoy having a woman that “needs them” emotionally and physically. hopefully someone reading my story will get some comfort knowing that they are not alone and that these married men are very clever in how they operate. but my husband hadn’t touched me for many years even though i begged him to please get help, to no avail. so many times i tried to make my married man feel jealous by telling him how me and my husband had a romantic night but he was totally unperturbed, whereas i couldn’t tolerate that he goes close to his wife even for a day! i met him on a dating site and we become couple after a month plus. i am sorry to read so many women are still going through this on top of the new ones being sucked into it daily. when i met my mm he was so charming sweet and handsome my type lol anyway i never knew he was seeing anthor woman til one day i look through his mail while he in the shower i seen a woman name the mail but i had been with him 9m before seeing the woman’s name he had told me there were nobody else the way it looked to me there wasn’t anybody else but me but it all seemed a big old lie my betfriend finds him on fb married and having twins with his wife while i’m 5mths pregant with his baby boy i was alone during pregancy baby shower it was hard but i am strong i’m so hurt now 2016 its 4yrs over been with him i don’t know how to leave him i love him so but i need faith to move on hes in and out my life my son life his not supportive emotionally i just need a way to find the courage to move on to better. btw, i met him on one of the dating sites. i am 38 years old im married but my husband is gay thou he is in denying it to me all the time. now i am mourning the end of my marriage and a bad breakup all while working with this man who is now going on a family vacation 🙁. after all, it’s not all about dating and affairs, is it? told my married man before that i knew he didn’t love me – mainly to see how he would react or say – he said well the sex is the best that i’ve ever had and i ain’t stopping it now. but yes, most of these married men are thinking about you and are unhappy. i am a beautiful, vibrant woman who has so much to give to people who deserve it. i found out last saturday that my guy of 6 months was married. don’t be like me and so many other women on this site who have given in time and time again because we get suckered back in by breaking nc. you feel like he’s the only man for you because he told you that you’re the only woman he truly loves. this time i’m fighting with everything, every prayer, every blog post, every woman who has or is in the same situation. the way these married men love you is just not enough. he always treated me well, totall gentle man but as time passed. i believe, to the very core of me, he has destroyed many lives. accidentally found site and the comments on how to end a relationship with a married man. when we are older and married, we are bound to that relationship legally and everything we have worked so hard for our entire life can go poof, or we lose half of it…so we stay and numb ourselves into believing this is the way it will be. i just want to to be that strong woman i always wanted to be and me leaving him is part of going on that path. this is just one blog hg tudor has from an archive of many and i just felt like it was a good place for you to start. they’d rather keep on manipulating and circumventing the situation that’s working for them. it’s been 11 days since i heard from him and the last email from that time said “thank you for being with me and being a sexy beautiful woman…” hate feeling like at this age i am being used…even though i thought i could handle it. i never chased him; i liked him, but since he was married i never would’ve made a move on him. belief now is that the married man i fell in love with, and whom i believed fell in love with me, loves absolutely no one but himself. i read my married man’s love horoscope everyday wondering how he’s getting along with his wife or whether he had another woman when he had me. if i can also suggest, read the comments (there may be many) because you might recognize yourself in many of the people. anyway, you will be blown away by what you learn about your married man and yourself. i have my ex-married man blocked, but sometimes unblock him so to see if he has is last online status shown. looking back, i see that my married man and i reconnected only a year after my marriage ended 2 years ago. i had forgiven myself for the past relationship because we met on a dating site and he assured me multiple times that he was single! ive been on the other side too – reality – with a different relationship of 3 years, where we lived together and the romance ends quicker when you dont retire to your separate homes at the end of the day. and this is the problem with us women, we are empaths and caring people, we may go in thinking we want what the man wants and that we can handle it, but we can’t. so it’s not like you can’t be in an affair with a decent man, but most often they never break up with you in a decent way, relationships end all the time but it’s only with married men that they are so long drawn out, torturous and exhausting.’m so tired at the moment from losing my job to money to family worries etc that i’m not even putting my point across, except please stop seeing him, join local friendship clubs, find a hobby where you’re with people, get yourself on a dating website for ‘casual’ dating. i just ended a 4 year relationship with my best friend and love, we are both married to other people. they don’t see us as human beings, and they sure as hell don’t treat us like humans. what i did till i knew how to live without my married man. i was married for the first 6, i had never cheated before in my life, and i found it impossible to be so in love with my married man and going through the motions with my husband. now, she urges you to stop cheating with another woman’s husband. recently ended things with my married man of 5 yrs, as well. i don’t even want to talk to another man right now. you are not a masochist, you are a human being and a woman at that. in fact, i dont wish to live with my mm or another man if i dont have to. i was in a relationship with a married man for nearly 2 years and we were in love head over heels. i’ve fallen so deep for this man that i dont want to be with anybody but him. i can’t even explain the hell you go through as ‘the other woman’. you still struggling to break up with your married man? the following few days he called me and said he’s sorry of his lied and he wanted to divorce his wife but many reasons that he can’t and his wife did not want to. yes, he works loads, but, he find a few hours for football matches during the season and i’m sorry but nothing is stopping him see his friends maybe every other saturday evening for a few hours (he manages the local pub for a few hours many times a week, he claims his escape and so he talks to people as he doesn’t talk to his gf he has a child with and works with 10 hours a day (! welcome your thoughts on how to break up with a married man. truly hope that every woman who is on this site will be open to visiting hg’s website. this woman took the man i loved his traits and rules his life. i learned dating married men on ashley madison as a single woman. i am sorry to have loved a man who wasnt mine, or who will never be. whether it is because of all the legal and financial problems attached to divorce, religious beliefs or the fact that they have become comfortable with their marriage the way it is -- or even because they still have a certain affection for their wives, men rarely end up with the other woman.. so after his wife and kids keep treating me i decided to break it off with this married man but he cried and begged me not to leave him this continued until the last couple of weeks ago when his wife showed up to my job and then they came to my house…it hurts so bad but the sad thing is that i really miss him but at the same time i can’t stand him. kristen houghton affairs the-other-woman mistresses: a history of the other woman. there are no exceptions, i would definitely end up being hurt – so it was better to dump him immediately rather than wait months, maybe years (as many of you) and get deeply involved with him. when people talk about our married men as a drug, it’s the truth.. i’m not a stupid person, far from it really actually very intelligent and i actually find he is kind of dumb in many ways and he would not be the type of man i would ever usually go or fall for. we are not dirty secrets, we are woman who deserve to be cherished and loved, dont ever settle for less than that. i’m now on my first full day of zero contact with my married mam. i am no longer that happy, vivacious and innocent young woman he met. when i try to explain to my married man how i feel he does not get it, or pretends he does, but changes the subject. i’m afraid that every man i meet i will compare to my married man and i’m afraid i will push them away. it does not matter what i'm reading about…so many traits and stories are him, and what he has done and said to me and his gf (we are both played) and now i reckon the poor ex wife…no wonder she's a little crackers, i feel sometimes i may join her! i can’t say i have never been attracted to another man in all these years.. long story short, a married man persued me, we have what you would refer to as an online romance/affair/fling there really is no words to it. but thats not enough we need to be the one and only woman in a relationship with a man. the married man i’ve been having an affair with – it’s been 16 years and a child together although he wasn’t married then.’m with a married man for more than a year now and he has been marrie for a year and a half. i’m close to his mates and his dad is aware of our affair and just told him no more babies but he is a man so didn’t cautian him or tell him he is wrong. how long does it take to get over a married man? i thought i could manage it because it’s much different than the other situation; but i know heartbreak is inevitable. man came to your life and treated you with cheating and lying. everything i read says to cut off all communication with the married man in order to heal, but how do i do that when we have a child together? i am married with three young kids and have been seeing amarried man on and off for 5 years. affair with another woman's husband is painful, yet you can't let him go because you love him. initially he used to force me to get married to him anyhow, but i knew as per law that is illegal, so i never agreed. i do not want any strong beautiful amazing woman to go through i have or them and anyone else in our position. aren’t proud of dating a married man, and you know it’s destroying your spirit and soul. wish i have your courageous and strength…you are a strong woman…. i was vulnerable because i had not gotten over my divorce and jumped straight into this toxic relationship with my married man. we shared some many things in common and he opened to me about his past and i opened to him for the first time in my life. broke up with my married man of a bit more than 2 years. how can married men do this so easily and we can’t? i am married and our marriage has issues but i have been living in denial. things with my married man and i were simply just physical. i also said to him that if he truly didn’t care about her being with anyone else (he told me on many occasions that he didn’t), why did it bother him enough to question her. caved and started having this affair with the married man two years ago. i told him that i will start dating other men and as soon as i find someone we will end it. because i finally moved on from my married man at one point in life. all in all, im dating someone new and moving very slow with this amazong new man. married man is not free to love you the way you were created to be loved. understand that many of you are exactly where i was almost a year ago. we started and i get pregnant and he was happy as we were getting ready for our marriage i found out he was married in africa without kids. after he left, i heard nothing from him for two weeks but found out he had gotten married! came across this website while seeking help how to break free of a mess i found myslef in… im 27, and i have started to fall for a married man who works in the same company. i’m not even sure i can truly recover enough from this to ever be with another man but i can be on my own and with my kids no problem. the married guy i chose to get myself involved with was an old high school friend. i almost want to get her back because in a way i feel she stole my man, the one i loved so much. be prepared to face the reality that breaking up with a married man is difficult and painful – but the best thing you could do for yourself. i always knew he was married from the beginning, she was in a diferent country and he was alone you could say. but i would rather be on my own and have the possibility of meeting someone who is devoted to me, than stay with a married man who doesn’t have what it takes to give me the life i deserve. i’ve been dating a married man for the past three months. love this man – i can’t seem to be able to let go. i always took pride in my relationship because my husband is an awesome man. we’ve been through what you have, and are living examples of a woman’s innate ability to rise above difficult circumstances. i knew if that man truly loved me, the way he always claimed to, the silent treatment would’ve never taken place. this is the second time i reconnected with my married man, the first was 35 years ago. i found out that if a man really wants to be with me then they would move mountains. at times, i still find it shocking how everything turned out and i may never fully understand how any human being can cause so much anguish in another person’s life. however, i wouldn’t be where i am today without my many prayers to god being answered in little ways and i know one day with all the hard work i put into finally caring for myself, i will be given what i truly deserve in this life and that is a real true love all my own, even if it’s just from me to myself. one of my friend once told me, if a man doesn’t get serious with you after 3 months max, he never will. my married man is my colleague and we work together in the same ward, thank god he is not my boss. how many people do you know who post happy, loving photos while being unhappy or flat out miserable? i originally posted a couple months back when i was feeling sad and lonely due to a change in my married man’s behavior.’re madly in love and want to be together, but he says he can’t decide what to do because the wedding is being arranged by his sister, and he has a 13 year old son (with another woman) who is close to his fiancee.. towards beginning of our affair we both were ok with the fact that we are married and cant leave our families but we still want to b together. and he gonna pay for all the pain you feel now but you don’t have to even think of that miserable man. i told my married man that i wanted to be there and he got mad. i never realised that having an affair with a married man can be such a similar experience, whatever the circumstances and whoever may be involved. that you’re not in love with the real man. but this one more time never really end, and thus starts the dynamics of breaking up and getting back together again which is the the hallmark of affairs with a married men and so detrimental to our self worth and peace of mind.! i am new here and involved with a married man, but hopefully not longer. years ago and like you, then and now, my work suffers, i get ill, and now i don’t see the am and don’t know what to say to him anymore as i feel incredibly used (see my initial post ‘forever waiting’ and many replies to people) i’m exhausted from the mental and sometimes physical impact. have been married for 6 years and having an affair for almost 5 with another married man from work. i discovered they were married shortly after he became my boss. the married men who refuse to let go of their marriage are the types that find too difficult to face their problems and to deal with reality so they need a fantasy to escape to. we would share stories (he was cheating before with other women), and he would even give me advice on my failed romances. he married his wife because she was from a rich family, same religion, state, everything. i do not understand how he ended up like this and feel so lost and yet, i know i have to walk away from this man, who remove the circumstances is truly my soulmate. have been dating a married man for a year now. i am a smart woman…a business owner…i have raised 3 college graduates…i am no fool…but when it comes to this relationship i am lost! affair with another woman’s husband is painful, yet you can’t let him go because you love him. i finally ended it for real, i had broke it off with him so many times but this time it’s real. after not seeing the married man for about 10 years (i broke it off) i started seeing him again because my partner passed away.. Vicki counsels a reader who is involved in an affair with a married man. there is a world outside of the circle in which your love for your married man is holding you captive and the door is there for all of us to walk out. last month my married man’s wife found a text from me. a few months ago, a married man came to me (let’s call him david). this man did not have the guts to marry the girl he says he loved.
What I Learned Dating Married Men on Ashley Madison as a Single
all i can say is he was engaged, could have not got married to be with you and yet he did not. writing this to make sense out of the relationship i had with a married man to see if anyone agrees, or has also experienced, or thought the same way about this. ive worn out and let the sadness go in, i accept the fact that im abandoned by my married man and i just live another day. think the married man is so happy to feel again that you become his focus! the moment you feel your married man is dicking you around, break up with them. it’s as if you were describing my situation though in my case there are children involved and my married man is very involved in their lives.’m a little love sick over him but know he is a nervous about us so is still on the dating site, and tbh he does need someone a little younger and that is all i’ve gone about – his age. my ex-married man came across as confident, comfortable in his skin, charismatic, and made me feel like i was the only person in the room. four years of seeing my married man we stopped talking in the first week of july. matter how many years you have been loving this mm, as long as he is not divorcing, nothing will end good. once you have the baby, the grip this man has on your psyche will lessen. have bonded with him so it will take time to detox from him that is exactly what you must do you are young do not waste your youthful years with this man he will never leave because he will not leave the money he has built why should he get the best of both worlds! married man no longer talking to me or texts me back. told me he was happily married he didn’t want to leave her. are so many beautiful and nice things in our lives, we just have to see and enjoy them again…step by step. truth is, while you’re getting the golden period, she’s being devalued (manipulated – see above); and when you’re being devalued, she’s (or a new source of supply) getting the golden period. he was after something more sinister and wrong and he lured you into his fantasy just like all the other married men on this site. you’ll find several readers who are honest and strong enough to share what it’s like to date and break up with a man who is married. men are human lol, they can and probably do have feelings for us but remember: more than likely there was someone before you and will be after you. nothing in life is worth ending your own, especially your married man. i broke up with my married man for 2 months now. and being the pathetic human being i am i called . but, you have to remember that when you date married men, you will get hurt. i took myself off the dating website to give myself a break, but did see my date after 2 weeks on saturday night and again we stayed up until the early hours and had a lovely time. yes, they can play happy families and happy married couples – but the fact they had you ladies means there was something wrong in their marriages, something was missing there and you were providing them with what was missing. initially, i liked this man because of his voice, his spanish accent, then i thought it was hot he had a phd, intelligence is a turn on but once i got to know him, he was just as messed up as the rest of us. i always judged women who had affairs with married men, and i know people who have never been in this situation who would say i deserve what i’m getting. while my mm says this woman at work doesn’t know, she does and she looks at me like i am poop every time i see her. i don’t know why i married him my heart has been elsewhere all this time. stumbled across this page last night on my way home from work and it has been so helpful to read everyone else’s stories and to not know that i am the only woman who had an affair with a married man. whatever this married man says, it’s at best an illusion and at worse, blatant lies. he says he doesn’t love her or she doesn’t understand him, but the truth is that he is committed to her because he wants to stay married to her. from everything i have been reading (and thank you for sending the links because i am taking them to heart), i just can’t deny that he has too many similarities to one. in islam it’s allowed to marry more than one the thought of having another woman aside from me is killing me inside. i learned through my situation that the married man can learn to make his way back in even when you think it’s done forever, so it’s something to prepare for in order to not fail. i’m going to shut the new married man situation now before i get hurt or hurt anyone else more. i do think men manage to just drop one thing to move on to the next more easily than us, but i also think it comes back like a boomerang to the them one day, while we took longer to heal but we will heal in the long term. about 2 years ago, i met an older man (60 – i am 43), and he pursued me like crazy. i really want a man of my own and i want to get married. though i think right now whatever you do you need to do it for you and not for you married man. working with this married man, looking after a young girl and facing the emotional abuse of my ex. i have a strong connection with my man and don’t know how to give up my best friend. anyone who is still involved with a married man, all i can say is end it now. have been involved less then a year with a married man. i was going to end it when he told me he was married and gave me his sob story. long story short……he’s had a child, i was forced to abort mine cause he said he didn’t want anymore, he got married, my marriage is still rocky and i’m stuck lonely sad depressed and wanting to be loved. need to step back and identify the priorities -- your priorities -- in a relationship with a married man. he is still in the whole relationship routine and i’m not sure how other women get to spend so many weekends with their married men but i guess all our circumstances are different. thought i’d say hello and thank you all as ever for your wonderful comments on breaking up with a married man. you start to realize that you as a woman want more, you need more affection, not just what he gives you when he can. so i’m the other woman and i’m being cheated on.’ve been with a married man for the past 5 years. when i was suffering and lonely one day, i really wanted to call my married man but never could, he didn’t use a cell except on rare occasions, and i thought to myself ‘ how insane is this? i even researched about woman moving in with their new partners into their ex ‘marital’ homes to be mature about it, and some women were great, saying it’s now their home and their memories and just bricks and mortar….. going into this i knew he was married and i knew it was wrong and i expressed that to. though i have never expected, but we share the bed, we did not have intercourse as his dialogue was until and unless we get married we should not have that. the lies, deception and constant disappointment of having an affair with a married man was awful. been together for 23 years but married 17 years…we live in the same building…half of my neighbor knows he cheats for years…why she stay is the million question. in march 2016 i started dating a great guy and, after a final night, i also managed to stop the friends with benefits relationship. they had been married for about ten years when i met him. i text back saying thank you so much, you have really cheered me up and this is the first saturday i have woken up happy in many many years. everything you described is my married man and our situation to a tee. that married men may really be lonely, they may be decent people but the breakup is always messy and cruel and very damaging to us. my married man couldn’t bear it if i so much as scratched myself or bumped my head but now i think he won’t even blink if i drop dead at his feet. i wanted to text him so many times before and never did but yesterday i was weak. too deserve a happy and fulfilling life, with someone that is there 24/7 and who doesn’t sleep next to another woman plus lies, manipulates and makes you feel sad…. he has not matured into a man even though he’s 38 and most likely, never will., it was incredibly hard for me too, to believe such negative thoughts about a man i had given every ounce of my heart and soul to. i have been seeing my married man for over two years now as well and have talked to him every single day. we have gone nc many times , last one lasted 3 months. it is not that difficult to sweep a woman off her feet, men are smart and know that very well. i never would have thought or considered being with a married man. many of us have gone through a form of ptsd because the addiction is so strong. yes, i miss him and yes i get lonely but i keep coming back to this site and reading about the pain and heartbreak and i don’t want that anymore…i wish you great happiness with the right man. no man that truly loved you would put you through this — never. no matter how common it is to fall in love with and date a married man, it is degrading, dishonest, and disappointing. tomorrow marks one month that i ended things with my married man. a real man, in real love would not cause the kind of heartache and pain we have all felt. i wish more people would read the narcissist website i posted so many times, but i also understand that everyone has to learn in their own way, my prayers are with you, asking for strength, light and guidance as you find your way out of the mess that he dragged you into. we lost contact, he remarried and a few years later, had a child at 50, with his present wife. i always see him as such a good person, he never promised me anything, he said i should go many times because he loved me and did not want to hurt me. but they are probably so entangled in their lies, control, and manipulations, just as we once were. laurie can you please write an article on why married men cheat…does he really love his wife if he continues to have affairs? my mm was all the good qualities you can hope for in a man multiplied by a million. i know he loves me, he’s cried so many times about the situation, but i believe if you really genuinely love someone you’ll do almost anything to be with them…marrying someone else is going to guarantee we’ll never be together. i’m in a much better place now (time is a good healer, i’m in the ‘shock’ stage, not the shock of not being with him, but all the lies, manipulation and at some points nastiness to get what he wanted over the years…. i’ve been having a affair with a married man for 7 years! takes strength and courage to let go – but you can learn how to get over a married man! i truly believe this man loves me deeply, which is also why it’s so hard to let go because i can’t let go of the hope i hold onto that he might still come back some day. i was approached by 2 other men being dignified i said i wasn’t interested, i’m a smart woman i take great pride in my appearance. thus, if you are with a man who cheats on his wife for years, he is abusing his wife and thus he is disordered in some way.. anyone one can give you a big fat ring and be romantic and act like your best friend and take care of you…especially when you’re their fun beautiful non moaning bit on the side…we’re a dream to men…. there is something intoxicating about a man in uniform and in power. have broke up and got back together so many times, i cannot even keep count, but now i see how others are treated and then dumped and i do not want to waste my time anymore. there was a time when i would never have believed that my married man could hurt me. i often thought it was cute, like a romantic quest. i have been with a married man for the last 12 months. you ask, “how can a man live in a world of no love? he was open that i was such a pure woman, unexposed to the badness in the world, and he would not promise any future in this relationship to confuse me. i feel bad knowing that i’m the other woman, but i just love him too much. safeguard yourself from too much emotional pain, you need to understand that he can only be a small part of your life and will never be more than that no matter how many promises are made. i never thought i would see a married man but i fell for him and i wasn’t even looking for anyone at the time it was a complete surprise and i couldn’t resist him. i had made so many positive changes and he couldn’t make any. honestly, i did not really have a support system, so i hope you can do better than me, but i went to london many times to see the only real friend i had, and i decided to make new memories (i went with him in so many capital of europe, i was scared of going back, but i decided to make new memories in those places to make sure i would not be scared of living again). i know how every one of you feel when you are in love with someone who is in a relationship/married, and you don’t know how to escape it because the love you feel for them is just too strong. not every person is a good human being and there are lots of nasty people out in this world, who are just nasty and not necessarily have a personality disorder. many people think it doesn’t just happen but it does.! i think at the time he was panicking about losing me for some reason and at that time had not perfected the manipulation. here, you’ll learn how to break up with a married man – and even more importantly, you’ll discover ways to let go of someone you love. getting involved with a married man has taught me so many valuable lessons; however, i will never do it again. i was in this awful situation for a year, but spent more years turning other men down and even leaving my fiance for the married man i got involved with. it’s been horrific, i don’t live near family or many friends, he has it all, promised me the world and delivered nothing. you need to look at taking care of yourself and your child with this man. he only cared for me as long as i was in his safety bubble of narcissism, those little gifts were in his safety net of not getting financially caught, he did the max he could to keep me nearby, interested, romanced, somehow that made him feel like the macho man. anyone know how i can break away from this relationship with a married man as nicely as possible but he can still be part of my life because of work? it is hard for me to leave him now after two months, i cannot even imagine how it could feel after years of my invested emotions and commitment to a man who doesnt really care about any of that. for all the crazy thinking we find ourselves having and the self loathing that comes, this is the addiction, the insane thinking, the attachment to the married man. well, i have to own that i put myself here, but i too am involved with a married man.! words have been used forever to manipulate women wether the men are married or single. my engagement ended a year ago then i reengaged with my married man months later. any woman reading this, you are not alone if you want to break up with a married man, we are here, we are a support group from different countries and we will and have helped each other more than we thought. if someone sees me from the outside, they would see a confident, assertive and happy woman. my married man hid the fact that he was married when we met. trying for the umpteenth time to break off a relationship of over 10 years with a married man.’ve also been reading another website that calls the manipulation part as creating the soulmate effect. how could a man live in a world with no love, or intimacy? i believe she fell for a charming man, who made her feel like the greatest woman on this earth, just like he did me. so i tried dating websites and had a few hook ups while still seeing him but nothing i did worked, no one compared and i’ve continued seeing him. is a key component of narcissism because sex/romance/love are powerful tools to gain fuel from you. “what would you be, without the thought that (married man) is happy without you while you are suffering? married men develop a staggering degree of detachment to you and your pain, and they do not budge from their comfort zone to give you even a smidgeon of relief. marries man said he wants to grow his children that’s why he stays (lame excuse really). if you think the married man in your life isn’t a narc, think again. i have never been treated as badly by any man before in my life. michelle i just wanted to say that i am in your same position for over 2 years, yes i fell inlove with a married man like you he caught my heart and he always wanted me to stay and never give up and of course i never give up for him for almost 2 years and then the time passes i always hurt and get jealous with his wife i need his attention but he always with her wife he also told me that he is never happy in his marriage but he cannot leave his wife maybe that’s all the married man can’t do, so i decided to let go of him and i tell him that i give up on our relationship but he insisting his self to me he goes on my work place but i told him to stay away and don’t ever come back i don’t know what i feel but something your heart will put you on the right decision if your tired of all the things, yes i forgive him and i wish i will forget him soon just be strong to tell him that i deserve a man that will love me. i’ve asked him so many times to just “break up with me” but he never does – and this keeps me hooked and in love with him. heartbreak that unravels when the other woman falls in love with a married man. the woman says she is not interested in sex anymore.’s like when you’ve played a game too many times and you lose interest, completely. we both know the pain these man have caused, just as much as everyone on this thread, but the more people like you and i who are willing to come together and help each other, is the most empowering and rewarding thing we can ever do. i haven’t had news from my married man since a month. we fell in love, we are alike in so many ways. because of many factors, they have many outside interests, and don’t share outside passions or interests. many victims i’ve heard from move forward into healthier relationships and marriages that last the rest of their lifetimes. share with you your pains too and i think you are a very strong woman. are all human and we all need love and intimacy and to feel good about ourselves. were so many times that i said i was done with him, but somehow, i always went back. he’s been married 11 out of 16 and me 14 out of 16. but im still sad, im sad because i will never get to be with my soulmate- my married man, the one who my heart skips a beat for. also get you regarding living with someone, this is why i wonder if i’ve been doing this for so long…but i also know i want a full time relationship with this man which would result in us living together, and i certainly don’t want past issues and problems with partners to stop me maybe experiencing a happy relationship. prayer for you is that you find the strength and courage you need to stop dating this married man, to stop being the other woman.’ve often wondered (throughout my life) why it was that i attracted so many negative people into my life; and now, i know why. 5 years there have been so many times where i’ve been hopelessly depressed and i’d go out with my friends have drinks and meet men almost like rebelling against him.